Things that Grinds my Gears

I just wanted to start this post off by saying that it’s a bit of a sensitive topic and probably a little controversial.

PLEASE READ WITH CAUTION!

I hope Cee’s Photography is having a fantastic break! I guess this post is like sharing a part of my world. This post will give you a little bit of an insight into how I think.

There is something that I would have to say is my “trigger”. If you don’t know what a trigger is, it’s really simple to understand. A trigger is a subject matter that no matter how good of a mood you are in, or how confident you are feeling. A trigger is something that makes you instantly upset and/or mad.

One of my triggers is when a woman will say something like that men cannot possibly be abused or raped, because they are bigger than us.

I can’t even begin to tell these women what is wrong with this statement, and how dangerous it is! I know for a fact and through personal experience that most men already have issues when it comes to expressing themselves and this is why the male suicide rate is so high. You don’t even have to be physically bigger to rape and abuse someone. They can be drugged, for example. How many times have we heard in rape cases of people being drugged and completely knocked out at the time? You can’t fight chemicals.

Highest Australian suicide rate in 13 years driven by men aged 40 to 44 – The Guardian (March 2016)

As for not being abused because men can just “fight back”. Yes, I guess that some probably could, but that is not how abuse works. Abusers of any gender don’t start by hitting someone straight away. Abusers will bring you down mentally and spiritually, most of the time you don’t even realise it’s happening. Not all men are bigger than us (not that that’s important). What about men who are in relationships with other men? What about men who were abused by family members when they’re little?

What made me the most saddest about this trigger was I saw these comments, which made me set off was on a Facebook page for White Ribbon. For those who don’t know who White Ribbon is, it’s a cause in Australia for stopping violence against Women. I am clearly for stopping violence against woman and children. This doesn’t mean though you can just say “it doesn’t happen to men, they don’t understand” because I guarantee they do. It saddens me to see someone say they’ve gone through being abused, but according to them men just don’t get it.

I guarantee they do.

#ItsOkayToTalk

Disturbia

As a few of you know I have this eternal love/hate relationship with Facebook. I love that it has all the people I love from Australia and Overseas on it…I HATE what Facebook can do, the insecurities it can bring, the bad memories that it can bring up.

Well over the weekend I had one of those bad moments and I haven’t been on Facebook since. To explain a little bit, one of my past relationships, my ex was not the person harming me, it was his room mate. However, when I went to him for help, instead of getting the expected response of “It’s alright I’m here” All I got was instead was “You deserve to get hit”…”You have it coming”.

Even after we broke up it never really stopped. Thanks to one group where we both had mutual friends, well people I thought were friends…When I did things they didn’t understand, why I didn’t ‘behave’ the way they thought I should after my breakup, instead of having an adult conversation, they’d publicly ridicule you, quoting you in meme’s you never even said. Needless to say I have been taking myself out, bit by bit, from that group.

I found out over the weekend that this ex was honoured for learning how to do Jiu-Jitsu…The fear, the dread, going back to that place, just instantly flew all over me. My poor now partner, thought that he had done something wrong, because I started to have a panic attack and couldn’t stop crying.

It was a weird feeling, something I couldn’t really explain. It was something from a real life nightmare. Knowing someone who thought I deserved to be hurt, can suddenly hurt me if he wanted to and know how to not leave a mark. The disturbing factor that this group of horrible people (there’s very little good about them) was honouring him for learning how to hurt me. I know it’s irrational, he’s not suddenly going to come after me after all this time. Still…

At the same time though I had, through my moments of blank mindedness, realised how lucky I was to be out of that situation. How taking myself out of that situation resulted in my now happiness.

White Ribbon (Australia)

Uploaded on 13 Dec 2009

Get Rihanna’s eighth studio album ANTI now:
Download on TIDAL: http://smarturl.it/downloadANTI
Stream on TIDAL: http://smarturl.it/streamANTIdlx
Download on iTunes: http://smarturl.it/dlxANTI
Download on Google Play: http://smarturl.it/ANTIdlxgp
Download on Amazon: http://geni.us/amzANTI

Music video by Rihanna performing Disturbia. YouTube view counts pre-VEVO: 48,070,735. (C) 2008 The Island Def Jam Music Group