Shall I tell you a secret?

I am very happy to be getting married later in life.

There just feels like so much less stress. I feel old and strong enough to say “No, that’s not happening”. Like even yesterday my Dad finally went down his usual rabbit hole. Of how it’s my Mums fault, she didn’t tell him that I was getting married. Even though I unblocked him to specifically tell him. Come on dude, you’ve been split from my Mum for 30 years. I’m nearly 40, I literally just do not care anymore.

When I was younger I would have a crying mess.

I reckon 30 these days is a good age to have a kid. Too get married later.

I do not care, you are the parent, I am the child. He started off reasonably okay, with admitting we don’t know each other. Then it turned into the blame game, except it was everyone else’s fault, but his. My mum actually had a go at him this time. My Dad, for some reason used to complain about how my Mum didn’t work, so my Pa, her Dad, helped her to start her own business. THEN my Dad complained about that, how stressful it was for HIM, for her to have a job. Total gaslighting.

My Pa passed away over 10 years ago.

My mum was all “What do you want me too do? Dig him up (he was cremated) and make him apoligise to you”.

You want to feel bad for him, but he made ALL these choices himself.

I was 12 when my parents split, I turn 40 next year. Technically they split two days before I started high school as well. My Dads big idea of getting my Mum back was to tell me that he would kill himself if I didn’t tell her that he loved her. So after that, my older cousin caught me crying on some steps she rang my Dad, he called me a “Drama Queen”.

Guess what’s going to happen tomorrow if he continues.

Sorry about my little sob story. I am perfectly fine. I am just SO emotionally tired. My parents essentially need to grow up.

I just do not care anymore. This time should be about me, but it’s not.

This isn’t where I thought it was going, lol


So I’m engaged

I did very well this Christmas.

However, I was asked a lot of questions about the engagement. I hadn’t even got the ring back yet, haha.

So because I don’t have to travel to see my partners parents for the next couple of days (we both have colds/flus and a lot of his side are immune compromised). I have spent today looking up “Wedding Things”. Mainly the fun things, my goodness, there are so many ideas out there! I have been able to find things that my partner and I would both enjoy.

We want a Spring wedding (so for us, that’s September, October and November). That’s all we’ve got so far.

Also, because we have got a flu/cold, because I’ve been going for the last two weeks, pretty much non-stop. Now I know I can relax, of COURSE my body is going full flu/cold, lol.

What I would like to know as well though. I would love to invite all you bloggers to it. I just know that that is not very practical. Would you be annoyed if I posted things about the planning? I do not want to be one of “those” brides. I actually think my Groom may be become a Groomzilla, and I already have enough people driving me nuts, lol. I don’t want to do it to others. I would love to be able to write about the process though and share my ideas with someone.

I wont do it though, if you all find it too annoying.

Not getting married … yet … Some really good ideas though!

Bride reveals common wedding mistake to avoid: ‘Don’t do it’

In this article, the Bride talks about how she showed off her dress to everyone…Except the expecting hubby. She said it’s the one regret she has. As the wedding became more real, she started to doubt her dress.

She continued, “People are bad liars and no matter how hard they try, if they don’t like your dress, when you show them that photo, it will show on their face, their true feelings will show.  “So even if you truly love your dress and feel great in it, those little opinions will subconsciously start to taint your perspective of your own dress.”

As the title suggests, I am not married and am not engaged. Yet, I’ve been told what I can wear, what colour the dress needs to be, I can only wear white (yeah, that’s not going to happen) for the “religious” people. Don’t get me wrong, I’d look nice in a white dress. But a plain white dress?

… Like … I’m not marrying these Religious people … I would be marrying my partner, who also told me I HAD to wear white, because some people in his family are religious.

Like, sorry…My partner is an atheist, and I’m nearly 40 and not a virgin.

Fine, I wont wear a red wedding dress…But neither am I going to wear white … I’m thinking Lavender … Maybe green or yellow

I’ve been told who I can invite, who I cannot invite.

I’ve been told where I can and cannot have it.

I am already considering security.


My ideas have changed over the years for the type of wedding I’d like. There’s a couple of things I know what I want.

I would like my bouquet to have Australian Native, some type English Rose and Edelweiss…My partner’s ancestry is from Germany.

But that’s it, haha…Like I keep changing my mind with everything else, lol.

Yeah, I think it’s a really good idea when it comes to a Wedding to keep as much as you can a secret. This could apply to other things as well, like … your child’s name. SO many people want to get involved in that one too!

Yeah…White? Keep dreaming! haha

Shane Filan

30 day song challenge … Day 14 – 16

Day 14 … A song you’d love to be played at your wedding

I have always wanted this to be the song we’d have our first dance too. While, pictures of people who passed, who are important to us are on the wall or something. I think Terry would appreciate having something that everyone would concentrate on, rather than him, lol

Faith Hill – There You’ll Be


Day 15 … A song you like that’s covered by another artist

Jonathan Young – My Lullaby (Disney’s The Lion King 2)

Jonathan Young

Day 16 … A song that’s a favourite classic

Queen Official

Share Your World…Week 25

Share Your World – 2015 Week #25

Share Your World

What did you or did not like about the first apartment you ever rented?

Well I have never rented an apartment on my own, I have generally moved in with others. Since I had to go back to living with my Mother, you can guess how well those turned out. However one plus side of living with a parent is that I am able to save so I can get my own place =D

What kind of art is your favorite? Why?

This is a good question, I like a bit of everything really. Anything that moves me, I like. Except for that “modern” type stuff. Where they have a huge white canvass and a red square in the middle, which is supposed to represent “planet suffrage”…Yeah, I think that art is just silly,lol.

How many siblings do you have? What’s your birth order?

I have on younger brother and he just moved interstate recently, and I am going to be visiting him in a couple of weeks =D

Complete this sentence:  I’m dreaming of a white …. (and no you can’t use Christmas as your answer)

Wedding…Don’t tell my partner!lol

The weekend!

So the weekend is nearly over and I really should be getting ready for this barbecue I have to go, but am so tired. It’s been a bit of a brilliant weekend…I have always loved Halloween even though I am not America and am secretly glad that it’s becoming bigger here! =D

Before I start to bore you all with details of what I did. I’m writing mainly because I had such a 360 with a lot of stuff that has been going with my life. I went to a wedding as well and it was such an eye opener! I am sick of being miserable over guys who just waste time. Watching this wedding (and it was really short too…I didn’t know weddings these days could take so little time!) really just made me open my eyes and made me feel like I want to get married…To the right person at the right time of course. It was a fantastic feeling!

People though…very interesting creatures. I think this weekend also proved to me though as a culture we are becoming more self obsessed and it is not really serving us well as a community. People taking photos of themselves being “introspective” while ignoring the pains of their friends and the world. Apparently someone having a crush on someone who clearly isn’t interested in them is more important than someone who is actually going through nasty break-up? All night I had to listen to love songs that I really didn’t want too.

Anyways, all of this is making me realise how much of a good person I want to  stay and be and how much I want to be with a good person. Not someone who claims to be good, but is never given the opportunity because the girls want all of your friends.

2014-10-31 19.09.31

(I kind of love how my costume kind of came out Harley Quinn meets Betty Boop…Boop-Oop-A-Doop)

The times they are a-changing

Having a conversation with a good girlfriend tonight and we are shocked…repeat SHOCKED…by the amount of guys that are in relationships and/or married that hit on us. Both my girlfriend and I are single and these “respectable taken” men are not helping the cause. There are a few things that make me really mad about it:

  1. How can you call my ex a douche when you’re doing what you’re doing? He didn’t make promises of marriage or anything close to that.
  2. Most…in fact, pretty much all of them…claim to be bi-sexuals…I’m not sure if they think that they gives them a special permission to hit on other people while married or something?
  3. What makes them think I’d ever go for a married man to begin with? I never have and never would…I am not desperate and there are a lot more guys out there that are not someone’s sloppy seconds.
  4. What makes me angriest the most though…My brother is gay, my cousin is gay…Yet these…Wankers…are able to get married and STILL hit on single people, like myself.
  5. I have not seen ONE of them hit on a guy…Just single girls…But this is who Christians really want representing them?…Really? Both my brother and cousins have been in long term committed relationships and neither one has ever been accused of straying. Yet, they can’t marry and these guys can.
  6. You never hear of their partners being bi-sexual…Amazing, isn’t it.

All these guys are doing is harming myself and my girlfriends and relationships in general. We are single for a reason and these guys are a huge part of that. I can think of maybe one or two couples who don’t seem to do this.

We obsess over characters like Thorin and Thor and Mr Darcy because the truth is, to find a decent guy (I still believe that they are out there still) is getting harder and harder to find. These guys damage the rest of you guys and put single girls like me off.