I found one!

I’ve only ever heard of these elusive creatures, little did I know…I’ve been sitting next to one, pretty much, the whole time at my new place of work.

The ever lasting “victim”…

And oh my god, aren’t they ever such a drain!

I have known NPDs my entire life, but never a self suffering victim. I don’t know which is worst to be honest, lol.

What is a self sufferer?

It’s someone, who always suffering, they’re always the victim. No matter how much you may appease them, they are never happy. And if they don’t want to do something, they will complain about EVERYTHING ALL THE TIME! You can NEVER make them happy. When you try to explain something, you’re just taking “sides”.

And I sit next to them all day at work! I have never met a more draining human being in my life before.

Like, someone was trying to talk to her, and I was trying to “mime” to tell them to stop talking to her. There is no literal point. These people just like to complain about everything and you just sit there and nod your head. She has said to me she was going to go over our bosses head about our boss. Who if you met is really lovely. Everything she says about him, is just not him. She constantly complains about everything wrong with our work place, the work and the equipment. And we all agree a lot of it is annoying, but you keep pushing through. We currently have a building going up next door. Some of the records we have are not easy to read, BUT, we’re all going through this. The way she talks though, you’d think it was all against just her. When someone tries to explain this, she’s all “Your just taking their side”.

I ended up taking a day off of work because of her last week. After everything with the cat missing over Christmas, and we didn’t get a break from work. We kept going, as we only close on public holidays. Too go from that huge stress, to someone complain for at least 8 hours a day…constantly…I couldn’t do it anymore.

Luckily for me, and thank you COVID (never thought I’d say that), we had to change our desks around. She’s now working upstairs and I am still downstairs, and I have NO problem about that.

I can’t begin to stress to you, how horribly draining someone like that can be. I actually nearly cried at work when I thought that she was going to be going upstairs. That’s the thing, they bring you down. Like every day is “I’m going to be sacked today, I’m going to slow still” and yet does nothing to help herself. And just lies really about how she can’t do the work. There were even a couple of days where I actually started to write down everything she did, she’s on her phone … a lot. She was complaining how she’s being “picked on” because she was late. Her excuse was others were late that day. Which they were, but she is ALWAYS late, and I mean like at least 20 minutes late.

Oh my god, I could go on.

But I don’t want to drain you too!lol

Phil Collins
Phil Collins

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“Don’t look like a victim”?

What does that even mean?

I was having a conversation with a “man”…looked like a completely fake profile. About an app that allows women (probably men too…human being in general) to flag or tag places where they feel safe or unsafe. Which I think actually sounds like a good idea.

However, this “guy” was on the discussion board having a go at the other guys who were actually doing/saying the right thing and calling them pathetic “white knights”. Afterwards he said women need to stop looking like “victims” when they were out…

WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?

What do “victims” look like BEFORE they are “victims”?

Of course none of the ladies were having it! We told him about why does he think women go to toilets in clubs in pairs? As I explained as well most women do that as well, because most of us have already been attacked by someone we know, in the middle of the day. Comfortable and confident as you can be…Can you imagine then going and being surrounded by drunk guys, after becoming a ‘victim’?

Its not normal?

I was just thinking about a lot of things that have come out with the whole Presidential debates in the US and the main topic that has come out, is about assault on women. One of the main things that has come out is against the women who have come out. The main questions have been:

1. Why did they wait so long?
2. What were they wearing?

Of course other women have been attacking these women, which I want to say shocks me, but it doesn’t. Women are WAY worse to other women than men. In fact, I’ve seen a lot of men standing up for these women and I say kudos to those guys.

As someone who has been attacked and the majority of those women closest to me have been attacked. I can answer both of these questions quiet simply.

1. Why did they wait so long?

The first question can be answered just from the fact that when these women do come out, they get attacked, and then in the same paragraph are asked the question “Why did they wait so long?” How can you attack someone and call them a liar, etc and then actually ask the question, like you’re genuinely shock. That once one women comes out, the others will feel safer to come forward. To me it makes logical sense, that these women feel more powerful when they are able to stand with others, ESPECIALLY against powerful men in the public eye.

2. What were they wearing?

This one irritates me a lot, for various different reasons. The biggest one being and simply put. As mentioned before I’ve been attacked and a lot of the closest females to me have also been attacked. None of us were dressed “sexy” and we were attacked by people we considered “friends” and for most of us, it was done during the bright light of the day and a couple of were attacked while other people were in different rooms. Rapists don’t attack you for what you’re wearing, it’s about power and it’s because normal people don’t rape other people. It’s just not a normal thought, for normal thinking people. My attacker was (I assume still it) bi-polar and refused to take his medication.

I think it’s what irritates me the most about the whole situation. People are not getting attacked for what they are wearing. People are getting attacked because other people do not have “normal” thought. Of course people are going to feel safer to come forward when they can stand with others. Why is this SO hard for people to comprehend?

There is also a third simple answer on why people don’t report. Brock Turner…The guy was CAUGHT raping an unconscious girl and look what happened. How much faith would you have if someone who actually got caught had, let’s face it, really nothing happen to them?