She’s so lucky


Britney Spears

You know there was a really good reason I started to write this post and now I can’t remember why I write. The memory isn’t even coming back to me. So I am going to start writing and see if somewhere along the line, I remember what it was I originally was going to write.

If not, oh well.

Britney Spears,

Meghan Markle

and fabulous, wonderful me! Haha

Seem to have it all, and then comes … our fathers -.-

When I was younger I’d have a friend, who’d complain to us about how we couldn’t write things on Fathers Day, because her Father killed himself. And every year on Fathers Day she would remind us and try to make us feel bad if we wrote about our Dads.

I’m not friends with this person anymore.

But if she knew what my Dad was like. She would have realised that just because your Dad’s alive, doesn’t mean he treats you well. Her Dad had severe mental health issues. My Dad, Meghan Markle and Britney’s Dads are just utter bastards, lol

Now I’m allowed to say that, but the rule is, no one else is, haha.

I totally love my Dad, but he’s a complete bastard, just like Markle and Spears Dad seem to be as well.

However, saying all of that. I was lucky, and I am sure that Britney and Meghan are as well. You don’t need a Dad (or a Mum) to have a positive influences in your life. I actually have a lot of positive male role models in my life. Which is why I don’t hate men. I’ve been sexually assaulted by male friends, slut shamed by male friends. Which sounds HORRIBLE. However, I was still lucky, because throughout all of that. I had the opposite of males in my life too.

My great grand-father, my Pa (not my Poppa, he was horrible. Nice to me, but horrible to his own children, so he doesn’t count, lol). I’ve got “baby” male cousins who I just adore and are great men, and throughout my life I’ve been close too. I say “baby” because they’re like three months younger than me, lol. Quiet a few Uncles. And, of course, I’ve got males friends who are not completely bastards, lol

Good thing I did not post this on Fathers’ Day (which we celebrate in September in Australia).

So like the great Britney Spears sings “She’s so lucky, she’s a star”. It’s true, and while the song also says “But she cry, cry, cries in her lonely heart, thinking
If there’s nothing missing in my life
Then why do these tears come at night”

That was me, I’m sure that Meghan and has been Britney. We are still lucky, because we are coming out on the other side of it.

Still though, every year I would still get annoyed that she would try to shame us into not celebrating our Dads on Fathers Day. A couple of years before we stopped being friends, I actually started too. When my Dads not drinking, he is actually a really funny and kind guy. But he not only denies being a alcoholic (every time he’s drinking and ranting at me). He moved to a town to get away from the noise of the city, which is totally understandable. However, he moved to a place that’s over two hours away, I don’t drive, the beginning of the outback (which means little to no public transport) and only has 4…that’s FOUR…Pubs. My alcoholic father, moved to a place where he is in walking distance to 4 pubs, and that’s really all there is to do.

So, when I guess when I heard that Harry was talking about breaking the cycle and everyone condemned him for it. I noticed that the main complainers, were all white men, who have very well known problems with their own children. I got what he was saying. I completely believe him as well. And it’s a GOOD thing as well. Like I don’t think people understand when you have a family so entrenched in tradition and blah blah, how hard it is for that cycle to be broken. What better way to break a toxic cycle than to watch the world’s most well-known family, break it?

My Dad, just last week, was ranting at me again. Then he started talking about how he had to every Christmas, travel two and half hours to spend the day with someone he doesn’t like (his brother). But do you think he ever says anything to his brother, nope. I so want to say to him “You are OVER 60, if you don’t want to go, then don’t go.” I also wanted to reply when he said “Why do we never do what I want to for Christmas”. NO ONE EVER DOES WHAT THEY WANT FOR CHRISTMAS! That’s the point of it! lol. You may not get to do what you want, like everyone wants Christmas at their house, without having to do the cooking (or washing) and all the presents sorted at least a week before. It’s not going to happen, lol…And NO ONE wants to go to the house of a grumpy old man, who abuses everyone who he apparently likes (?), two and a half hours away. When we all live with 30 minutes of each other. No one wants to go there.

Well, this has been a good little therapy session, lol.

Need therapy and not twitter?

Now I am very aware of when I should not be on Twitter. I listen to myself, but I don’t think everyone does this. There are lot of people on Twitter who probably need Therapy, not Twitter. The problem with a place like Twitter and Facebook is that a lot of people are bored, and it is extremely quick to scroll and to get instant satisfaction to get see your point of view being presented.

So why don’t people realise this?

I was inspired to read this post after writing a post about how embarrassing some white women are when it comes to being TERFs. Well, a TERF quote tweeted me and said that I was being racist (by calling them uppity) but also mentioned Meghan Markle? Not a in a good light. I was initially confused because the tweet I responded too didn’t mention MM, and neither did I.

My brain in that moment…

Much needed therapy

So sometimes one needs a little extra help. Today I am headed off to see my Therapist for about a year. By the time you read this, I will have already seen my Therapist. I really wish I could talk to her every single day!

I’m not ashamed to see a Therapist, we all need help every now and then. I’ve had a weird month and I’m doing better. But it’s always good to talk to someone who actually has some experience in the area and you don’t feel like you’re burdening anyone. This is what they do. The other reason I like speaking with her as well though, is because it re-motivates me. Sometimes I get bored or feel stuck in a rut and feel like old things don’t work for me as well anymore. She reminds me, that they do.

Nothing wrong with a little help ❤

 

 

 

 

So I did it…

I hope that not too many people in my life know about this Blog…and if they do…Oh well,lol

I finally went to see a psychotherapist and I am really glad that I went to see somebody.

Glad We Talked Science Fiction GIF by SYFY - Find & Share on GIPHY

It was fantastic!

See, I’m one of those people that don’t really like to burden people with my problems…I’ve told people about my anxiety mainly so they understand why I’ve stopped turning up to things and how I just don’t want to be treated anymore.

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The main issues that I’ve been having is since I’ve started taking my anxiety medication I’ve become more “susceptible” to things…If I read it or hear about it I’m convinced I’m going to get it…Which isn’t great when all these people around myself and celebrities that I adore, have either been having or dying from heart attacks…It’s so tiring being on high alert ALL the time when the pills make you so sleepy.

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(This Chihuahua looks like my doggie)

It’s been fantastic to talk to someone/anyone about what I’ve been going through, what I’ve been feeling, how the anxiety started…It’s been great! The first time I went we just kept talking that I didn’t even notice the time go by. I was so sad when it ended. She did say that sometimes after the first session people get really upset because they’ve let out so much…But I felt great! I even went into the city and did shopping for 3 hours all by myself! I haven’t done that since I first got came down with the anxiety blues. I can’t actually wait to go back!

Assistance Dog Day

If you can see to the right of my page I have a list of important dates (well dates that I think are either interesting or important). Today is a great to talk about Assistance Dogs. I actually sponsor or sponsored an Assistance Dog (I think that we change dogs over time) and I can proudly say that “my” dog that is an Autism sponsor Dog.

There are so many different types of Assistance Dogs and they are all types of different Assistance animals and I think it is such a worthy cause to help. My work situation I do not have a set wage coming in each week/fortnight. So I’ve been having to look at the different types of charities I support and cutting them off. The Assistance Dogs are not on my list of charities to cut off.

Animals are just amazing and I quiet honestly believe that they are just inherently kinder than humans…Except for Crocs, Alligators and Octopuses…I hate those guys,lol

So of course I had to share a video of animals being jerks…Enjoy! I love the cow one, you’ll see what I mean!lol

Published by: FRlKK

Published on 11 Mar 2013

 

Just relax

I think that the hardest thing to do in this world is just too truly and utterly 100% relax. The last month or so have been really hard for me, I’m living pretty much pay check to check this past month. This usually happens to me twice a year. Usually a month before the busy times at my work happens. It’s part of the reason I am looking for something more permanent.

Even though when I’m on holidays and planned ones, I will still worry…Maybe I shouldn’t have taken that week off, maybe I shouldn’t have bought that extra chocolate bar. It can get very overwhelming sometimes. Especially when I start to get upset at myself for buying that little extra treat.

I find the hardest thing to do is to my forgive myself. That’s when my head gets all messed up and I have to try and control my mind so I don’t get so upset that it gets me down all day. So I didn’t mean for this to become a kind of depressing post. I just wanted to share with you what I try to do to cheer myself up that either costs nothing or costs very little.

Books: Books are a great way to cheer myself up and a few other people too I do believe. The great thing about books is that they can actually be really cheap, and sometimes free if you know what you’re doing! Join a Library-Not only do they end up getting a lot of the newest books for you to borrow for free, a lot of Libraries will take requests for new books. A lot of Libraries also have books sales where they sell a lot of different items (not just books) at a heavily discounted price. Just recently I bought three dvds of movies I’ve been wanting for a while now for $6.00 ($2.00 each).

Walking/Dancing: I love to dance and lately I have been taking my dog for even more walks. When I go back to my Mums house, I feel like I NEED to take my dog for a walk, even though she’s little and we play a lot inside. Not only can both walking and dancing be done for free, but they both also release endorphin.

D.I.Y: I always find that over the years you tend to build up a collection of things that need to be done around the house. Now this can be expensive if you do it all in one go. Sometimes I find as well though when you think of the D.I.Y. projects that need to be done you go out and get that stuff. So over time it all builds up, including the materials you need for the project.

Series watching: Now what I mean by this is when you have a favourite television series and you just sit and watch it all day, or at least have it on in the background. Now this is a great idea for relaxing because watching or even just listening to a favourite show, has shown to relax and calm the mind down. I know myself, personally, I cannot fall asleep if I’ve watched something traumatic or some kind of horror film. One of the great things about this option is that there are so many different ways you can do this. Some retail outlet these days will have a deal, for example, 3 DVDS for only $30 (I recently did this one). Let alone the new streaming services. Which do cost a bit more money than a one-off, however, you can get great deals.

I did nearly put a bath in, to relax,…but the reason that I didn’t. It ultimately leads to your overall water bill and if you are anything like me. I usually end up staying in the bath for about 15 minutes. My partner can spend literally hours, but I just cannot do it.

Let’s Share!

Cleaning out my Closet

Usually I would be posting about Bookmark Chronicles “This or That – Category” challenge on a Wednesday evening, but Bookmark Chronicles (please check them out) is taking a week off to concentrate to find their dream life and make it happen! We, at the Library, wish them all the luck in the world!

Instead of writing a in-depth, get to know me type of Blog. I am taking the day to clean today. When I say clean, I mean clean…I have always found cleaning to be therapeutic. So not only am I cleaning the house and my room today, but I am cleaning out my laptop. Getting rid of old files, games and photos I don’t need or want any-more.

So, what do you do you readers, when you REALLY clean?

Safari Love Live!

For those who read my Blog a bit you’ll know my obsession with the Nat Geo’s Wild Safari Live and how much I love it (you can also find the drives on Ustream WildEarth Safari). Usually what I’ll do is make a post about new baby animals or just introduce or update on the more well known animals. Some of the animals even have their own Facebook page! (Will post links at the bottom).

Today I just want to explain a little bit about why I love this live web feed/stream so much.

The drive is kind of my form of mediation these days, even when the predators are on a hunt (which if they get a kill I can never watch). It brings me back to reality, animals, especially wild animals live in the moment. They are living minute to minute. Things can change so rapidly overnight for them.

It’s made me love animals that you would think would be unlovable. I for one am now am a big fan of Hyenas and Warthogs. You really do get to see these animals, live and wild, the strongest bonds of family. Mama warthogs are extremely protective of their little piglets and the little piglets are just a joy to watch. They bound around so much and are full of energy.

The people, the guides and the chatters (I’m mainly in the Social Stream). The guides are so friendly and they keep it so real. Even when something unpleasant has happened, they are there to remind us about the harshness of the wild, but also the love and how resilient the wild is.

So what do I do when the safari drives are off? Which is a good question, the safari drives are only on for three hours two times a day. Never fear! You can always go to the Djuma Cam and Pete’s Pond while you wait for the drives. I like to have them on the in the morning when I’m first getting up, it’s very therapeutic. You can just chat with the other viewers, there’s usually someone around as the cam’s and the drives have viewers from everyone all over the globe.

Birmingham Male Lions (Facebook)

Nkuhuama Lionesses (Facebook)

Junior of the Nkuhuma Pride (Facebook) … Junior is “unique” he’s the offspring of the Matimba Males, who were overthrown by the Birmingham Boys. However, the Lionesses of the Nkuhuama were able to help support him grow into a much larger male. We’re not sure where Junior is now because the BBoys are dominate and he would have been chased off. He’s special because he was with the NK Lionesses for such long time, much longer than usual.

Mvula Leopard (Facebook)

Shadow Leopard (Facebook)

Matimba Male Lions (Facebook)