30 Day writing challenge … Day 8

8. Write about something you have struggle with.

I think it’s no secret that I suffer from panic attacks and anxiety. I write about it here, I post about it on my Instagram account. A lot, unfortunately, has to do with my diet now, including what I drink. I haven’t had a coffee in over a year. I used to only have them if I knew for sure I wasn’t going out the next day. After Pippy’s stroke, I realised that life is not certain. Whenever I’d have a coffee. I’d be fine WHILE I was drinking it, however a couple of hours later, with the come down. My panic would increase. At least my head would fill fuzzy.

The biggest reason I struggle with my anxiety via my diet is because. All my panic attacks seem to happen in the middle of the night. Not really through the day. I think a lot of that is because of what I eat and drink. Certain drinks I can’t drink anymore, for the same reason as the coffee. If I do have an alcohol drink, I HAVE to have a drink of water before bed. Otherwise my body becomes dehydrated and then my mind goes into a panic. The same happens with if I have a hot chocolate too late. I think the sugar rush come down, puts my body into a panic. Since I’m not awake, I can’t feel the come down coming until it’s too late…and I’m up, in a panic. 

Just recently, with the colder weather. We accidentally left the heater on, and so during the night I over heated, while asleep. My body went into a panic and I woke up in a massive panic attack. This was also the night that I had the hot chocolate late at night.

I think it’s now part of the reason I don’t really like the dark anymore. Because I keep having panic attacks in the middle of the night. Imagine waking up in the dark, not feeling like you can breathe, your brain is being completely illogical. It’s really scary. I HATE blackouts now. I used to not mind them, I found it exciting, in fact. We’d have to see how great conversations we are. We always play a board game. Now, I hate them. The first time we had one after my panic attack, I had to keep nearly staring at the candle light. 

I don’t like being outside in the dark too much anymore either. I still love looking at the moon, inside. But I get silly frightened if I say, went outside to take a photo of the moon. During Winter, I am continually stuck between going outside into any light available and not being cold. Luckily I hate the cold, more than needing the light,lol. 

Lonely Bates Motel GIF by A&E - Find & Share on GIPHY


Am I grateful for another Monday?

What a weird weekend! At this point I still have no major post for a magical Monday and I am stuck! For this morning I did manage to find a video that is pretty accurate to how I found this weekend. Full of really sweet moments, but (mainly thanks to my anxiety) got annoying after a while, but how can you be so annoyed when it’s full of great moments, lol

Uploaded by: Kepa Uz Sirds TV

Published on 31 Oct 2011

TV broadcast PAW ON A HEART (c) Produced by Summer Studio LLC
Project website http://kepauzsirds.lv

Multi talented…

14, A talent you have

I have honestly been struggling with this one this week, I just cannot think of anything. I’m not sure whether I even have a talent! I kept thinking in terms of “Can I juggle” “Does my tongue make patterns”.  Then I started to think of terms of what can I do, that not every many other people do.

Then I took a Myers Brigg Personality test and I got the same result that I always get, no matter who much older I get INFJ. Now the interesting thing is no matter how much I think I’ve changed, I always get the same result. I’m not sure how much of you now about Myers Brigg personality, but having (according to them) an INFJ personality is only present in about 1% of the population. So when I joke and say “I’m special” sometimes seeing that personality type pop again and again and again. I really do feel it.

What comes with having this personality trait:

No other personality type is better suited to create a movement to right a wrong, no matter how big or small.

I think it’s one of the talents that I have, a more personality type one. Just trying to help whoever I can whenever I can, even if I don’t have the money to do. I will try something else to have. I guess my talent is having compassion and empathy that seems to be missing in the world. Even if it isn’t always the most popular opinion. I don’t always tell people what they want to hear, but rather what they need to hear and if I’m wrong, I will instantly back up and apologise. Which I am very stubborn about really.

Share Your World…Jan pt2

Share Your World

Share Your World : Cee’s Photogrpahy … Jan pt2

If you lost a bet and had to dye your hair a color of the rainbow for a week, what color would it be?  

I feel like this is supposed to be a bad thing, but I would LOVE to dye my hair Violet. I have actually really wanted to do that for a while. However, I do not like the idea of having to bleach my hair again. I did that once to get red in and I feel the damage already. My hair is really dark, so I’d have to bleach it.

If you could choose one word to focus on for 2017, what would it be?

Happiness…Last year was so up and down, and although it wasn’t a horrible year. My health though held me back a lot last year on a lot of things that I want to do. So even if my health doesn’t improve, which I can tell it is. I want to focus on anything that just makes me happy, whether I’m outside, inside, by myself or with others. Nothings going to happen if I’m miserable and I give in!

What was one thing you learned last year that you added to your life?

Be assertive! I have struggled with that so much for the whole of my life. After an certain incident last year, I was not assertive enough. Although the person was pretty unreasonable, I should have made them pull over, or kicked the car door open. Or even actually pee all over their car since they wouldn’t let me out. That would have taught them!

If life was ‘just a bowl of cherries’… which fruit other than a cherry would you be..?

I think I would probably be a Grape. Never sour (most of the time), satisfying. Small, easy to fit your pocket,lol … Healthy for you,lol