99 Problems…but you wont be one of them…

Sitting here with a great cup of coffee, getting ready for what should I post about next? Then realising I have not written about being single, I figure that I should =P For me any-ways, at the moment everything has been drama free and I have been loving the quiet and peace that comes along with not really having to answer to someone.

One interesting thing that I have found when you are single is how people will react to you about relationship matters. A lot of my friends wont even tell me that they’ve met someone else for fear or “upsetting” me. Some of my friends constantly complain about their relationships, making me feel really grateful that I don’t have to worry about any of that. Especially when most of them people complaining, don’t actually want to talk about their problems with their actual partner.

I never judge a relationship either by Facebook, its amazing what people will tell you when they’re drunk. So one of the best pieces of advice I can give about being single (or if you are having trouble watching an ex move on, on Facebook) … Chill … No one EVER posts about what a miserable time that they are having when it comes to their relationship on Facebook. Also staying away from Facebook all together and NOT stalking your ex’s Facebook is a good piece of advice, block them…Block them right now!

Even with the beginning of a new relationship, that can be full of such doubt for my friends. One of my girlfriends, the guy is clearly a player. Kissed her and then let her know he was seeing someone, so she thinks it can’t be that serious…but still I told her to stay away.

Nope…I am really enjoying being single, no problems and all drama free.

 

Published on 1 May 2014

Ariana Grande feat. Iggy Azalea “Problem” is available to download now
http://smarturl.it/ArianaMyEvrythnDlx…

Music video by Ariana Grande performing Problem. (C) 2014 Republic Records, a division of UMG Recordings, Inc.

30 Days of Gratitude…Days 8 – 14

(Well this one shall be very interesting since for half of it I’ll be at a family reunion).

Day 8: Alone – My mum is gone all weekend so this means that I have the entire weekend to myself! So far it’s been bliss (mind you though I’ve had to do homework all day). One of the things that I love at being home alone for a weekend by myself is the absolute solitude. Don’t get me wrong, living with my Mum isn’t all bad. Sometimes though you do a couple of days to yourself, so you can regather yourself back together. My mum has this habit of coming home and as soon as she walks through the door is complains. Sometimes, especially on bad days I actually dread her coming home because I know she’s going to complain about something and it makes me feel worse. I am grateful to have these rare moments alone.

Day 9: Study – I have finally managed to hand in a huge project and it was a huge effort to put since it was a topic I was not interested in and it took forever. Pretty much every spare day I had was taken up with it. This entire weekend I spent working on it and I have a test I really needed to study for. The reason I am grateful for my studies though is because not only is it helping me get into the career of my dreams. I am learning different things that help me in my work. At the moment we are learning how to make web Dewey numbers, every section of Dewey that I’ve learnt I’ve been able to then help customers out where I work. Sometimes work is busy so I don’t really have time stand back and learn.

Day 10: Drama Free: So there I was thinking what am I grateful for, because nothing really happened today…but there is something to be grateful in that alone…Nothing…Only two weeks ago I was angry beyond comprehension and my ex messing me about was beyond horrible. He made me feel worthless and the pain he had and was putting me through meant nothing to him. Like he didn’t care whether I was dead or alive and then he speaks so condescendingly to me….To NOT have anything like that in my life, is calming and beautiful.

Day 11: Single-hood – So I had a HUGE test today on my toughest subject. After the tests on this subject, my brain is completely fried and I fall asleep where ever I am. It was in this moment that I’m grateful that I don’t have children and I can rest easy. I’m also grateful because though by the time I have children I will be an expert on the subject, have a good job because of my studies and be able to comfortably provide for my children.

Day 12: My bed – I know this seems like an odd one, but I am very grateful to have a bed that I can get into a night and feel safe at night. I can dream at night, feeling safe with a roof over my head and safe in my bed.

Day 13: Brother – My brother came back today to visit us as we going on a family reunion trip this weekend. The reason I am grateful for my brother isn’t because he’s done anything amazing for me. He’s done great things for me, but the reason I am grateful to have the brother that I do is because he reminds me constantly what a MAN is. My brother is a Drag Queen, and a seriously good one at that too. He has won many Australia awards for the work that he had done. While I have all these “straight manly men” telling me that a man is only a man if he has a beard, or if he has big shoulders…My 6’4′ gangly brother is being a man, by being who he truly is. He is a constant reminder that a man is not made by what is on his face (neither Steve McQueen or James Dean had a beard can I just say too) or what he hides behind. A man is a man because he has the strength to be who he truly is. THAT’S a man!

Day 14: Family – By the time you read this I will be with my family at our family reunion. I LOVE my family we are all so different but we love each so much. It’s our differences that hold us together. A round up on the “labels” of people that will be at this reunions are: gay, straight, religious, athletic, creative, intellectual, spiritual. Yet, I can guarantee that we will have the most amazing time. From all of my other friends I know how incredibly lucky that I am too have the family (mothers side) that I do…My Dad’s side, don’t even talk to each other.

30 Days of Gratitude…Days 1 – 7

Day 1: New Hope  – Today was a weird day as originally I had a full day and night full of things to do and then over the last couple of weeks there became rapidly less to do, till finally all I had left to do was to attend a wedding ceremony which was only lasting an hour. Watching this lovely young couple made me realise how much I want to get married with the right person at the right time.

Then it occurred to me that I am not bitter towards my ex, or indeed any ex or any past relationship. “It is better to have a broken heart, than no heart at all” as my favourite Doctor in the whole wide world says. It was then that it occurred to me that I am so grateful to have heart that has gone through so much and yet it is so full of love. Whereas I have seen so many that turn bitter and cold and you can see how it is destroying their lives. I am grateful for my heart.

Day 2: My Mum – I know this sounds like a really sappy one, but it’s the truth! I have a great Mum! I realised this as she was picking me up from a far away place so I didn’t have to taxi back. I have decided to surprise her and take my Learners as a special Christmas present to her (I have to pass obviously). So it’s going to be a secret until I’ve passed. It may not seem like much to a lot of people, but I know how much it’ll mean to my Mum =D I’m hoping to have passed it by the end of this month, so I can show her right at the beginning of December. I am grateful that I have such a caring mother.

Day 3: A stranger is just a friend you haven’t met – I haven’t written friends or best friends because sometimes it can be people who we don’t know very well that can surprise us the most. Take today for example, I had a unexpected break down in feeling like a failure because I don’t feel like I am progressing through this year as I would have liked. I expected by the end of this year that I was going to have my dream job and my dream man. I have come SO close to having both and lost both through no fault of my own. Today though I had a bit of a break down on Facebook and I received this message from someone who I added but haven’t spoke too, and they sent me a private message about how they were shocked with how much I thought that I was failing. They let me know that it was sad to read because I send such a positive message on Facebook and they had no idea how badly I had been feeling. We had a good chat and I was so grateful that someone reached out when I needed a good chat the most.

Day 4: Volunteer Work – I am just grateful for the volunteer work that I’ve been allowed to do. My co-workers believe in me so much that they keep giving me different tasks to do and it makes my Library skills so much stronger. I wonder how much responsibility would they give me, if I was just a casual worker? I love where I volunteer and I am grateful to my co-workers to inspire me and remind of the hard work I put in, especially when I’ve given up on myself. When I feel like I am getting nowhere in my work, this reminds me of how much better I’m becoming.

Day 5: The Laughs – So I am having a really hard time with a project, it just never seems to end and in the middle of “about to blow my own mind up” a friend sent me a picture that made me laugh really loudly (in a cafe =S) I am so grateful for friends that don’t just ignore when I say “I’m about to explode” and they ignore…They actually try to make me laugh. Sometimes all I need is that 5 minutes of pure laughter. I am also doubly grateful that over this entire last year I have found those friends..SO much gratefulness!

Day 6: My ex – What a weird concept to be grateful for an ex! My first love (we’ll name him Reno) and I were together for about 3 years, the break up wasn’t really messy between us. However, there was a girl who created a lot of problems and it ended up badly. After a few years though we reconnected and now he is one of my best friends and I am so grateful for that! He keeps proving to me that he knows me better than anyone and gives me amazing guy advice. The last couple of months have been rough for me and he never seems to be mind when I get upset with men in general. I’ve been talking to him this past week and he knows not to keep going on about my last ex, but he keeps a conversation going. I realised a lot of people only seem to talk to me when they think I’m down rather than just having a normal conversation (or when they want something). Not Reno though, I didn’t realise until I started thinking about this whole grateful thing. Sometimes a “normal conversation” can be just what I need, so not everything is still about “him”.

Day 7: Books – It felt like such a funny thing to be grateful about. I am so grateful that I have had a good education to read the books that I enjoy. There are so many people out there that do not have the some luxuries that I have been able to have in my life. One of these is a good education which means that I am able to read the books that I enjoy and love so much. That gives my mind a break from the “real world”.

Grateful1

I wish to heal my broken heart…

If I could have just one wish, I would wish to fix my broken heart.

I think that for the first time in a really long time I finally admitted to how hurt I am, how broken my heart is.

I wish that you hadn’t sent me that text…Why! Why did you send me that text…You didn’t even mean it, you just felt guilty…You should!

I wish that you had any clue at all at what you’ve done.

I wish to forgive and I wish to forget.

I wish I had never met you.

I wish that I didn’t hate you.

I wish that I didn’t love you.

I wish that you hadn’t made me feel so worthless.

I could really use a wish right now.

Published on 27 Mar 2014

The new single ‘Wait On Me’ out November 9th in the UK. Preorder here http://rix.tn/RwomYd

  • Music “Me And My Broken Heart” by Rixton (Google PlayiTunes)

  • Category Music

  • Licence Standard YouTube Licence