I have this friend…She’s what a lot of people who would call her “desperate” in terms of she REALLY wants to be in a relationship and because of that she has made some terrible choices. One of which was on and off and is, what I thought at the moment, off and had been for nearly a year. However, recently I’ve discovered through all her talk and Facebook statuses about not being able to move on and blah, blah, blah…I recently discovered she STILL texts him all the time and goes out with him on the weekend. I thought she was just hanging out with some friends and some of his family members…but now I’ve discovered, apparently, him too. Which was made apparent when she posted a photo with him…Which neither any of our friends liked.
Which part of this is her moving on, if she is still apart of his life in every single way?
It’s a mindset I just do not understand.
She’s not the only person I know who does it to an extreme either. I have a family member who doesn’t speak to pretty much all her family members except for one. Even then she only started speaking to her recently. Some she stopped speaking with for good reasons, but others are really stupid. For example, one of her brothers didn’t want to come to a party because he had just had a break down. BUT she has a friend who has taken tens of thousands of her dollars and retirement fund, not paying a single cent back for nearly two years, but gets hurt when they don’t want to hang out with her? Yet she keeps telling us that she’s moved on from all the other family members and she doesn’t care what they do or about their lives…YET AGAIN…She constantly stalks their Facebook and is always telling me or asking me about things on their Facebook. Things I haven’t seen because I am not stalking their profiles…But you know…She doesn’t care.
When I’ve had to let go of people, I admit, the first few months I am genuinely curious what is going in and I may go see their social media pages, depending on my mood. However, at some point I stop. I had once ex who I couldn’t even be in a pub or club with and I didn’t keep hanging out with their families and I have my own friends.
These are some things that I do when I want to move on:
- I will un-follow people to being with and then after time I might even unfriend and block them.
- If I block them I will always write to them beforehand why I’m doing that.
- I try to distance myself for a little while from any mutual friends we have. I find that people who genuinely wanted to be friends with you, will stick around.
- I will block their number from my phone and delete it. If I need there are other ways I can contact them most of the time.