I can’t believe that I am actually sad

Over the last month or so I have been working in a different location, but doing the same job and after next week everything changes! I go back to my usual work location and I have my new dream job training. I am still really sad though to be leaving where I’ve been working, my coworkers were lovely and I’ll miss the students cooking. Plus the work was regular and set days, instead of wondering week to week what, or if I’ll even get a shift.

There is comfort in regularity.

This or That? #71

this-or-that

This or That? #71

This week Bookmark Chronicles would like to know:

Has a book ever made you cry?

I am going to have to go with a resounding “YES”, in fact it was the classic book I was writing about last week (This or That #70) Ruth Park’s “Playing Beatie Bow” that was probably one of the first books that ever made me cry.

I’m not honestly sure how much I can write about why it made me cry, without giving big plot details. I guess the best I can say is that there is a lot of learning in the book. A lot of learning to appreciate the past and the present, a lot of appreciation for who you have in your life.

TMI Tag

So I read this post at: https://vrushali21.wordpress.com/2016/01/21/tmi-tag/comment-page-1/#comment-1109 Shared by the very lovely Vrushali21 and I thought “why not” I’m not really sure what and how much you all know, so here’s some more about me =P

What are you wearing?
At the moment I’m wearing my works official uniform. We only have to wear the uniform at the busy times of the year.
Have you ever been in love?
Oh, absolutely.
Have you ever had a terrible break up?
All of my break ups have been fine, a lot of the times we’ve broken up because it was the “right” thing to do. However, the way they all treated me a couple of weeks later. That was the terrible part, I actually said to my last ex it felt like all of my ex’s had all just secretly hated me, that’s how horrible they were. I still can’t understand it.
How tall are you?
I’m 5″2
How much do you weigh?
You should never ask someone that! My weight honestly has been going up and down a bit, especially when I hurt my leg and basically was doing nothing but sitting for a month.
Any tattoos?
Nope, I would really like one though. I know though I would get bored though and getting the tattoo off would be costly and apparently the lasers used to get them off are really painful.
Any piercings?
One on each ear.
OTP?
It’s funny, I like putting couples together from different television shows or from the same show but different characters. For example, Legolas and Arwen, River Song and Loki. I would have to say though at this moment I love Mary and Francis from the television show “Reign”.
Favorite Shows?
As mentioned above my favourite is probably Reign, but the other that I just love is Homicide Hunter, it has to be one of my favourites of all time.
Favorite Bands?
I’m one of those annoying people that can like everything. Just to name a few I like Enya, Nightwish, Marylin Manson, Jennifer Lopez, anything Celtic. I like what I like.
Something you miss?
I miss people using common sense,lol.
Favorite Songs?
I have no favorite songs. I love them all equally. (Ditto)
How old are you?
A lady never tells =P
Zodiac Sign?
Taurus
Quality you look for a partner?
Kindness, I feel like if someone is kind everything else comes along with it: Honesty etc.
Favorite Quote?
To thine ownself, be true … Will Shakespeare
Favorite Actor? 
I guess the ones that I’ve been faithful to over the years are: Orlando Bloom, Matt Smith, Ben Barnes … I seem to have a thing for the “tall, dark and handsome” type.
Favorite Color? 
Red!
Loud or Soft Music?
Depends on my mood.
Where do you go when you’re sad?
I go to my room, or sometimes to the shower.
How long does it take you to shower?
It can honestly depends, sometimes I just need a quick 10 minute shower sometimes I can stay in there for a good hour.
How long does it take you to get ready in the morning?
I take about 30-45 minutes depending on how good of a sleep I got the night before and if I have my clothes organised from the night before.
Have you ever been in a physical fight?
Does fighting with my little brother count, when we were younger.
Turn ons?
Some who genuinely finds everyone interesting.
Turn offs?
When someone thinks the way a person “should” be.
What is the reason you started your blog?
I actually started it for a school project, where we had to learn about other social media sites.
Fears?
“Official” fears are Octopuses, those things are freaky creepy and are way too smart!
The last thing that made you cry?
Well for some reason I couldn’t stop thinking about death. That happens to me sometimes, it just gets stuck in my head and for the next couple of days I have a hard time getting it out of my head.
Last time you told somebody you love them?
Would have to be my boyfriend … or my dog,lol.
Reason behind your blog domain?
As mentioned before I originally set this Blog up for a school project and WordPress was the top Blogging site mentioned.
Last book you read?
You can find out here: https://lolsyslibrary.wordpress.com/2016/01/18/throwback-monday-2/ ~.^
The book you’re currently reading?
I’m not currently reading anything at the moment, I am looking for something to read. At the moment with my work being in its busy season I get home and I’m exhausted so I’ve been playing simple computer games.
Last show you watched?
Agatha Christies “Poirot” with David Suchet. It’s not one of the movie length, it’s been cut down a bit to make into a movie.
Last person you talked to?
My Grandmother
Relationship between you and the last person you texted?
He’s my boyfriend and he pocket dialled me…Left a lovely voice message.
Favorite food?
Lasagne … Definitely Lasagne.
Place you want to visit?
Disneyland, everytime we talk about where we want to go or if we won the lottery, where would we go? Disneyland every single time.
Last place you were?
(I’m assuming this one is about a holiday place) If you are ever in Adelaide, South Australia. I highly recommend you visiting a little place called Hahndorf (South Australia).
Do you have a crush?
Does my partner count?
Last time you kissed someone?
Would have to be my partner … or possibly my dog,lol
Last time you were insulted? 
It’s hard to actually insult me, I’m so weird and crazy, I know100% that I’m not always considered “normal” to some. I respect those though who can tell me when I’m being crazy and “crazy”.
Favorite flavor of sweet? 
Nacho Cheese Doritos … I just love them, is that even a flavour?
What instrument do you play? 
I used to play the Piano, but I don’t anymore. I’m not sure how easily I could pick it up either.
Favorite piece of jewelry?
I don’t usually wear jewellery that much, when I do it’s usually at least earrings.
Last sport you played?
I don’t really play Sports, the closest I come close to doing a sport is the general walking that I do.
Last song you sang?
Does doing it in my head count? I’d look like a crazy lady on the bus otherwise. I was “singing” ‘Sound of Silence” by Disturbed.
Worst pick up line? 

Have you ever used that line? 

Last time you hung out with somebody?
That would have to be my partner and a couple of my girlfriends.
Who should do this tag next?
You!

 

 

Share Your World…Week 21

Cee’s Photography has come up with a different version of “Share Your World” this week: (http://ceenphotography.com/2015/05/25/share-your-world-2015-week-21/)

“I came up with a new way of doing Share Your World for this Week.  Begin making four lists and have at least four items on each list.  You can chose your lists out of the ones I have listed below.  Have fun.

  • Favorite Songs
    1. “Uptown Funk” Mark Ronson, Bruno Mars…Not matter what, I stop, listen and dance =D
    2. “Wishing you were somehow here again” Phantom of the Opera…Not a happy song, but it reminds me of a couple of people close to me who have passed and it makes me cry.
    3. Anything Celtic, I just love the sounds. There has never been a celtic song that I’ve heard that I hate, the sound is beautiful!
    4. “Heart of Courage” Two Steps from Hell…It’s a really short song, but will fire you up!
  • Favorite types of animals
    1. Lions (they have always been a top favourite of mine).
    2. Elephants, since watching the safari drives I have this whole new love for them. They are the cutest!
    3. Wolves.
    4. Dragons! They’re real animals, right?
  • Fun things for a rainy day
    1. I LOVE to read
    2. I love playing my computer and catching up on them, or learning new ones.
    3. Sometimes I’ll do spring cleaning on these days.
    4. Sitting in bed and watching movies and having movie marathons.
  • Things I want to have in my home (paintings, hot tubs, book cases, big screen tv etc)
    1. I still want one more shelf that can fit even more of my books, but some of my figurines too!
    2. I need a lamp in my room,lol
    3. I want a whole room dedicated to reading and where I can write my Blog, an office type thing
    4. For my dining room area, I would love to have a huge glass window outdoor area, that is connected from the inside to the outside. I have seen beautiful dining rooms that can walk out onto the patio like it’s one big dining area. Just beautiful!

Bonus question:  What are you grateful for from last week, and what are you looking forward to in the week coming up?

Saturday Night

SO it’s a Saturday Night here and it’s all warm and uncomfortable “Down Under”. Been trying to think of what to do, since I have the house to myself tonight.

The reason I am writing this Blog is because thinking of what has happened this week, I’ve never felt more alone and felt more like I wish that I had at least one person who lived in my country, actually would talk to me about my problems and someone I could actually rely on. Then I started to feel really down about myself.

Then I thought to myself, I shouldn’t feel sad! There is so much that I can be grateful about and SO WHAT if I’m not going out this weekend. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that, I even looked up some online dating sites. I’ve made a promise to myself. If I don’t meet someone between now and the New Years. As soon as the New Year happens I will be registering onto one of those dating sites. I’ve already seen one or two guys I actually liked the look of.

Here are some rules for surviving a single night by yourself:

  1. Do NOT watch videos, listen to songs and watch tv shows that say how horrible being single is.
  2. Buy yourself that food you can eat when no one else is around
  3. Drink all the bad things, but do not get drunk!
  4. Dress in the most comfortable clothing you own.
  5. Dance like no one is watching and turn that music up LOUD!
  6. Stay OFF of Facebook
  7. Turn off your phone (or at least keep it on vibrate).

I promise you, you follow those steps and you will have a very successful single night in =D In fact you may never want to go out ever again!

Uploaded on 24 Oct 2009

Cyndi Lauper – Girls Just Want To Have Fun (Official Video)

Music video by Cyndi Lauper performing Girls Just Want To Have Fun. (C) 1983 Sony BMG Music Entertainment

 

You see the thing is…It should have been you…

If you could read mind right now this is what you’d hear…

You see…the thing is…I am finding my life incredibly fun these days, there is always something to do and someone that I can see…Every now and then I can’t help but think that it seems so unfair that you’re not here with me having this fun…But then again you are the one that made all of this happen.

It should be me and you taking on the world, making it ours, we completely deserve it!

But my life is a lot of fun right now and I don’t think of nearly as much as I use to and the nightmares have stopped, well for the past week at least. Music is really making me angry for some reason though.

I can’t wait to fall in love again, I guess that’s one thing I can take from this. You did open up my heart to make sure that I knew that it was really there, so I thank you for that. I can’t wait too meet the one and experience all that life has to offer when you fall in love…But…it should have been you.

Some days I literally have to sit on my hands, or “gasp” do homework to distract myself from contacting you. I promised you that you never had to worry about hearing from me again. Why were you so stupid? Why couldn’t you have just said “I’m sorry…I never meant any of this too happen and I never meant to hurt you”. We only knew each other a short time, but there is a dark hole in my heart that I can’t fill up with anything else. That little hole just hiding there, I can feel just the tip of the beginning of that hole at all times.

I am off to have fun again and I will, it’s not meant to sound mean, but I don’t feel like I should have to be sad. I love you always (you never knew that either, did you?) I would have married you without hesitation if you had asked and I’ve never felt like that before…The thing is, you’ll never know any of this. I’m kind of glad about that, I wouldn’t want anyone to take that for weakness, I don’t want you back now.

Shoulda, Woulda, Coulda…The thing is…It’s not you.

Rumi

Robin Williams <3

Originally I was going to take a ‘hiatus’ from all types of social networking sites (except for this Sea Eagle webcam that I am now watching in replacement of the little Baby O’s). However I happened to peer over the shoulder over a friends computer while they were reading some news on the computer and saw the extremely sad news =( At first I thought he had died from a heart attack, but now it appears that it looks like a suicide.

I think this is one of the genuine times that I feel really upset about hearing of a “celebrities” death. I absolutely LOVED Robin Williams, he always had me cracking up…or in some cases, really freaking me out and making me cry.

‘Lightning storm of comedy’ Robin Williams dies of apparent suicide” “The Australian 2014”.

Robin Williams just had this amazing ability to take any situations and just make you laugh till your tummy and cheeks hurt and the tears rolling down your face and you have to walk out of the room because you cannot breath any-more…Can’t forget his dramatic pieces of work either! That man had so many facets and was extremely talented. I always thought that there was a bit of sadness, but it was always hard to see between the laughing. There was always just something in the background, but it’s one of things that you notice if you’re watching his stuff over and over again. I think he needed the hyperactivity to keep his mind off of other stuff…That is just my personal opinion though. His drug and alcohol addiction was pretty well known over the years…Still it is shocking.

Beyond Blue (c) 2014

Tow of my favourite comedians together =)

 

Beyond Blue

This week I had a bit of a scare…when I say ‘scare’ I mean it has been a scare about my mortality and I wont know for roughly a year about the outcome. This week has therefore been an extremely traumatic and thoughtful one. It has made me question a lot about what am I doing here, I had a breakdown over seeing a child singing…One of those types of week.

I have always believed that I suffer from a low depression, meaning that I do suffer from it but it doesn’t affect my life as badly as some of my other friends. It does help that I have learnt about my triggers and also have learnt tools to help me cope better. There are a lot of people in my life who suffer depression from extreme (physically debilitating) to the mild type I have.

One of the most well -known industries in Australia are called “Beyond Blue”, they are an industry that help people cope with Depression and Anxiety. They give advice, get you in contact with professional health experts and recommend treatments for people and genders of all ages.

If you are suffering from depression/anxiety or know someone who is, please click the link below:

http://www.beyondblue.org.au/