Non-Perfection

I am very OVER Johnny Depp stans hating on Amber Heard, and saying stupidity like “Oh, she admitted to being abusive towards Depp, I hate her, it’s her fault he lost his job”. Yeah, she admitted it and then has been trying to fix it. Johnny Depp, has admitted to nothing and keeps suing everyone. Maybe he should have tried what Heard did?

Just because someone doesn’t admit to something, doesn’t mean they didn’t do it.

Ted Bundy didn’t confess until just his execution. Does that mean, beforehand he didn’t do it? Of course not! They actually still think that he did more, than the ones he confessed too.

Celebrity Accountable

I was inspired to write this post after I saw a “discussion” of people having a go at Shawn Mendes. The issue? There was a fan who wanted Mendes to tell her parents that she was gay. Now Mendes said “No”. That is something she’d has to do herself. That he has no right to do that for her. The other thing he was criticised for was telling her that her parents love her and they’ll still love her. I had problem with people who were criticising him:

  1. He’s completely right! This is her journey, they are not friends. If she needs someone there with her, get a friend, or even a supportive family member.
  2. I don’t understand people criticising him for telling him that her family will still love her. Yes, not everyone is that lucky, but do you seriously think he should say that her family wont love her still?

No you don’t

Now bear with me…I don’t think this is going to make sense. 

No to people who use the METOO movement” set you off…ie Amber Heard “abused Johnny Depp”…We’ve all seen the video! I don’t believe that Amber Heard is using the “Me Too” movement. People who “go after” people you find attractive, but don’t actually know, set you off. Johnny Depp is a grown ass “man” I don’t care if his mother just died, I don’t care if Amber was winding him up…YOU WALK AWAY! JOHNNY DEPP IS AN ADULT!

You know why we believe her? (Well I do) I believe alcohol and drugs change people, I believe that losing the love of life, changes you, I believe losing your parents, changes you. If he’s SO wonderful, why did Pardis leave him? We just don’t leave amazing men…We just don’t. AND instead of just owing up to what he has clearly done and his part in the marriage. Even if he was to put it down to, it was a volatile relationship and he owned his part in it. Nope, he keeps going on about it, like he’s completely the victim alone, and is now suing Heard…For what? Proves what? If she did, doesn’t mean he didn’t, does it? Heard is not sitting around suing him, she’s out there doing actual work. I think she’s accepted the relationship for what it was and is moving on.

Depp isn’t getting work or isn’t looking bad because of Heard, he’s getting a bad reputation for being a 55 year old “man” and owning up too NOTHING.

Amber Heard GIF - Find & Share on GIPHY

I absolutely believe that that particular relationship was toxic and volatile.

Responsibility…

Does anyone do that anymore?

I’ve been noticing a sever lack of people, in charge, taking ANY responsibility.

For those who are unaware of Australian Cricket. Some of our cricketers, blatantly cheated and were banned for it. Now, some of the big cricketers are saying that they just made a “mistake”. A mistake is when you do harm, unintentionally. This was NOT unintentional. What these “men” did was intentional. There was no pressure to do it, there were no guns at their heads. They did it all by themselves.

 

Just another day…

I promised to myself that I wasn’t going to have a “conversation” with ‘gun nuts’ anymore…but I recently wrote a thread on Twitter, mainly because I am SO over people blaming the FBI and mental health…When their “leader” took away the ban that stopped mentally ill people from buying a gun in the first place.

It was ironic in a way as well because as I was tweeting with this guy…There was a news report of another teenager being arrested because they had brought a gun too school.

His repsonse was about how come the ban didn’t save the kids of Colorado, Sandy Hook…etc…My response:

Also this…I guess you can click and see the conversation: I also did mention the FACT that Trump STILL hasn’t put that ban back as well as continuing to dismantle the mental health system…Then I realised half way through… Maybe he’s placing the blame squarely on the FBI and does nothing to help with mental health…Because then the FBI might feel obligated to have to do a check on all the gun owners who have made threats towards the American people (which lets face it, is a lot…I mean I have seen literal Twitter accounts with memes saying if they try and take my guns away they’ll shoot those people)…Taking their focus away from the Russian Collusion…Clever boy!

How do you tell the difference between a young kid making threats and a grown ass woman making public threats and placing targets? Both have guns, both have access to guns, both made threats and placed targets. BOTH are upset because things aren’t going THEIR way.

Dana Loesch threatens disturbing new bizarre NRA commercial

Where does the blame lie?

This is something that I’ve noticed in the last couple of years, and I don’t know if it’s just me or is it something that you have all noticed too?

I’ve started to noticed a thing these days instead of people taking any responsibility when they blame someone, they then turn around and say “Oh, but I’m not blaming them/you”

YES THEY ARE!

Daniel Bryan Yes GIF by WWE - Find & Share on GIPHY

I’ll use a couple of examples that I’ve seen or seen others use against me personally.

Last week I talked about how women are STILL the main culprits when it comes to attacking other women when they come out about assault (See the blog here). One of the main things that they kept saying was “I’m not blaming her…but…(or then goes on about how she should have left)” Yes you are blaming the victim! That is blaming someone!

Myself personally, one of the life long friends that I’ve recently banished for life. A couple of years ago when I was trying to tell her to leave her abusive boyfriend. Her whole excuse for why we didn’t hear about the “good things” he had done. The whole reason was because when she is single, she was really jealous about hearing how happy we were in relationships…I was the only single one at the time…I have been single more than I’ve been in relationships…I have NEVER EVER been jealous of my friends being happy…In fact I have been the complete opposite for my friends…Especially when they’re actually being treated been well…When I pointed out this too her…Not the fact that I am nothing like this, nothing about the fact that his abuse SHOULD outweigh the good. Of course my response was but you are blaming me, for your way of thinking……She just kept saying “I’m not blaming you, I’m just saying that’s how I think”….Which you’d think my so called “best friend” of half my life should know me better than that…and it is still blaming me.

Hence why we will no longer been friends after she blamed me of treating her like dirt the last couple of years…She’s still with the boyfriend by the way…Abuse 101!

Anyway…What is up with this trend lately? How about you just say what you mean. If you don’t mean it, don’t say it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Stolen”

I saw something over the past week that has sort of bugged me a lot because it’s not just an single incident. It seems that when someone cheats and runs off with another person. People (mainly women it seems) tend to place the blame on the person that their partner cheated on them with. They were “stolen” or “taken” by that other person.

Now what got my attention was that someone posted a meme about how Blac Chyna exacted her revenge on Kylie Kardashain for stealing Tyga from her, by using Rob’s brother. This post isn’t not about that family, but about the situation in general. There were lots of reasons that it bothered for the list of reasons below.

  • No one can be stolen or taken from anyone unless they want too be. If they are that is called “kidnapping”. REPEAT.
  • Kylie was only 16/17 when she was first dating Tyga, which means that she was underage when they were first dating. So this “man” was stolen by a child. What a man! I can see why you’d what that back! (sarcasm intended).
  • Blac Chyna (if true) was trying to get back at Kylie, was attacking a child, instead of the “man” who LEFT her.
  • That whole family is a mess. Lot of insecurity there.

Apart from that crazy family my point is this. I get it’s easier to blame the other person who “took” your ex-partner from you. It’s easier to lash out at that person who is nothing to to you, then someone you probably still care about. The truth is, no one can be taken from a relationship unless it’s just something they want, for whatever reasons. It is also definitely not advisable to date that persons mentally unhealthy sibling.

(My personal view: On a completely different note, I think all Blac Chyna has done is made Tyga (who is a total loser to begin with) made him more thankful they are not together anymore? Revenge Porn is also illegal not matter what)

 

The other person

I am such an odd person, I feel like I have such a different view on life and how I view certain situations. I’m just going to have too say that I have been cheated on in pretty much every single relationship I’ve ever been in. I don’t understand it, what I don’t actually understand is why cheat when you can break up with me? I have never been married, I don’t have kids with any of these people, so why didn’t they just leave?

That’s not what my weird view of life is about though, I’m sure lots of people think that “Why didn’t they just leave”.

What I don’t do, I have never blamed the other person who cheated with my partner. I have had quiet a few of these ladies come to me after my break ups. Mainly, I think it’s because they thought when my ex and I had broken up, they were just going to jump into a relationship with my ex. When that didn’t happen, they thought coming to me would do something, I’m not exactly sure what. I was always thought it was an odd thing to do because why do these people think my ex’s respected me enough to listen to me, when they had cheated on me, and didn’t break up with me instead. That’s not respectful, they didn’t respect me, clearly. They’re not going to listen to me now.

I have always felt though, it’s not the “other persons” job to respect me and protect me and take care of my heart, that is 100% my partners job. Even if they actually know about me, it’s still not their job. They don’t know me, they may know of my existence, but they don’t KNOW me, they owe me absolutely nothing.

I’ve been tempted in the past and I don’t think a lot of people would have blamed me, and I’m like 99% sure the other person would have been up for it. I still didn’t do it though. I didn’t do it for me, I didn’t do it for my partner at the time. I realised something was wrong and I tried to fix it. My partner then continued to cheat on me, or tried too (that’s a whole other story for another day) and we broke up. I can look myself in the face/mirror though and be proud and happy with myself. It also gave me a huge amount of respect for the person I wanted to cheated with, since they didn’t do anything either. In all honestly as well, until I had met my current partner I always had a little “What if

The only time I would ever blame the “other person” is if they were a good friend or a family member, that’s it.

Sad Reminders

An 11 year old boy killed himself after his 13 year old girlfriend faked her own death. She is know facing charges. (Washington Post)

We live in a dangerous time, a time where it is so easy to read other people’s opinions, other people’s stories…A time where, for some reason, everyone automatically believes the first thing they see with their eyes. Even though over and over again we are proven wrong. #fakenews

How many times do we get an email from someone we know and we instantly know something ins’t right about the email? How many times have we been told by a friend or family member that they have received spam messages from us? Personally I’ve had a couple of times where I’ve had friends let us know if we’ve received a message from them, it’s not them.

It’s really made me think before I just automatically go and condemn someone, to actually do my own research before I go and knee jerk attack someone.

What I think I can’t stand more than people attacking someone without doing any research, are the people who take no responsibility for attacking someone, especially someone they don’t know, reporting them to their work place and potentially getting them fired and they are wrong.

There was an incident recently I saw, literally the day after I read about the 11 year old killing himself, of a screen shot on Instagram of someone who had apparently sent a message to someone they don’t know, a racist and threatening Facebook comment. Well of course complete strangers went and reported the guy. So I was just as annoyed at this guy and went had a look at the guys Facebook. It was the oddest thing ever, the guy was African American himself, he had his African American sister defending him, something seemed “off”. While I don’t think it’s impossible for people of the same skin colour to attack one another, the whole thing just didn’t ring true.

However, that wasn’t even the issue I had. The issue I had was someone mentioned to this Instagram page that they were potential ruining someones family (the person is a married family man) and getting them seriously hurt over something they’ve probably haven’t even done. Instead of people going “You know what, we may have possibly goofed up” Nope…They decided to attack this other person and call them a troll and THEY needed counselling, because they were swearing…That was it…They were swearing mainly because other people were just not listening to what they were saying.

When are people going to take responsibility for themselves?

How can we ask those who are actually doing the wrong thing to take responsibility, when we as the “good” people and the social justice warriors, cant’?