The other person

I am such an odd person, I feel like I have such a different view on life and how I view certain situations. I’m just going to have too say that I have been cheated on in pretty much every single relationship I’ve ever been in. I don’t understand it, what I don’t actually understand is why cheat when you can break up with me? I have never been married, I don’t have kids with any of these people, so why didn’t they just leave?

That’s not what my weird view of life is about though, I’m sure lots of people think that “Why didn’t they just leave”.

What I don’t do, I have never blamed the other person who cheated with my partner. I have had quiet a few of these ladies come to me after my break ups. Mainly, I think it’s because they thought when my ex and I had broken up, they were just going to jump into a relationship with my ex. When that didn’t happen, they thought coming to me would do something, I’m not exactly sure what. I was always thought it was an odd thing to do because why do these people think my ex’s respected me enough to listen to me, when they had cheated on me, and didn’t break up with me instead. That’s not respectful, they didn’t respect me, clearly. They’re not going to listen to me now.

I have always felt though, it’s not the “other persons” job to respect me and protect me and take care of my heart, that is 100% my partners job. Even if they actually know about me, it’s still not their job. They don’t know me, they may know of my existence, but they don’t KNOW me, they owe me absolutely nothing.

I’ve been tempted in the past and I don’t think a lot of people would have blamed me, and I’m like 99% sure the other person would have been up for it. I still didn’t do it though. I didn’t do it for me, I didn’t do it for my partner at the time. I realised something was wrong and I tried to fix it. My partner then continued to cheat on me, or tried too (that’s a whole other story for another day) and we broke up. I can look myself in the face/mirror though and be proud and happy with myself. It also gave me a huge amount of respect for the person I wanted to cheated with, since they didn’t do anything either. In all honestly as well, until I had met my current partner I always had a little “What if

The only time I would ever blame the “other person” is if they were a good friend or a family member, that’s it.

Getting to know the Blogger…Part 4

I just wanted to say that I hope you’ve been enjoying these “Getting to know me Blogs” as much as I’ve been enjoying writing them! Here we go with the last week…

  1. Regularly burn incense?
    I have actually been getting more into burning incense and the like. Since I developed an anxiety condition last year, just meditation and calming my mind has been helping and I’ve been really improving. Maybe “getting more into burning…” Isn’t the greatest description in the world.
  2. Who would you like to see in concert?
    I would love to see Bruno Mars, but he’s very unlikely to come to my little town.
  3. Hot tea or cold tea? 
    Hot tea, I’m not even honestly sure that I’ve had even had cold tea. Apart from iced tea…with whip cream!
  4. Tea or coffee? 
    Oh lordy…How can one choose?! I drink both, however, in some situations I will only drink one during certain times. For example, when I’m sick or have the flu, I will only drink tea as when I’m sick, I can’t stand coffee. I don’t even drink coffee to try and stay awake, I drink coffee as treat almost.
  5. Sugar cookies or snickerdoodles?
    I have no idea what a snickerdoodle is, so I’d have to go with sugar cookies.
  6. Can you swim well? 
    I can alright, but I’m not ready for the English channel or anything like that.
  7. Can you hold your breath without holding your nose? 
    *tries* Yes, I can! It looks less stupid than when holding it. (Ditto,lol)
  8. Are you patient? 
    It’s actually one of the things people know the most about me, how patient I can be, when most others would lose it. It’s a trick between not taking things personally and not actually caring. Especially when it comes to work and I know it’s nothing that I’ve stuffed up.
  9. DJ or band at a wedding?
    I’d prefer a DJ just because then you can make requests for the original song, rather than someone trying to cover a song. However, I think having a band would look really classy. I’ve been to a funeral where a duo decided to dedicate a song that the deceased really like, and they sounded terrible. I felt it was so disrespectful, the person didn’t like the song because YOU sung it, they liked because the person they liked, sang it. I don’t know, it’s always felt really wrong to me.
  10. Ever won a contest?
    No, I’ve had some luck though with my works lottery group. We sometimes win 30-40 bucks here and there…Enough for another ticket.
  11. Ever had plastic surgery?
    No, I’m pretty okay with my body. The only thing I wish I could change is that my teeth would be a little whiter. Not stupidly blinding white, but just a little whiter. It’d also look really cool because the two herbivore teeth that are usually next to the two big ones, mine are missing, they just never grew threw. So my teeth look like vampire teeth, and I love it.
  12. Which are better, black or green olives?
    I don’t really love Olives, I’d rather not have them…If I had to choose I’d go with the green ones.
  13. Can you knit or crochet?
    I can’t really do either, I haven’t crochet in a while, so I’d probably have to restart and relearn.
  14. Best place for a fireplace?
    If I could have a dream place for a fireplace, I would have it in a library type room, probably off from the main living area. In a medium sized room, so the air doesn’t get all smokey.
  15. Do you want to get married?
    Only to the right person.
  16. If married, how long have you been married?
    N/A
  17. Who was your HS crush?
    Oh I had a lot…I didn’t date any of them, I was way to shy to actually ask. I had a lot though.
  18. Do you cry and throw a fit until you get your own way? 
    Umm…No, I’m not even sure I did that as a kid. Apparently I used to only throw fits when I was constrained, like when I was put into a seat belt. I hated to be constrained, still do.
  19. Do you have kids?
    I am furbaby Aunty and step mama. My brothers dog is technically his, since he’s the whole reason he got her. Only a couple of months after we got her though, he moved to Melbourne and left her with us. My partners cat is actually his ex’s cat, but when they split up, she said to hold onto him for a year and if she didn’t come back, my partner could keep him. She wanted to travel, and his had the cat for about 3 or 4 years now.
  20. Do you want kids?
    No right now, there’s still a lot to get settled first. I would prefer to be married first as well.
  21. What’s your favorite color?
    The toughest question. I love Yves Saint Laurent’s Babouche yellow. Yes, I chose a nail polish color, they are ever so precise.
  22. Do you miss anyone right now?
    Wherever I am, I always miss my mum and my dog, or if I’m with them, I miss my partner and his cat. Don’t tell anyone I said this, but if I could, I would actually live with all of them, my mum, my partner and the cat and the dog. I’d be very happy.Even though Pippy and Travie would probably kill each other. As long as it was a big enough house to give us all enough space.
  23. Who is your favorite author?
    At the moment my favourite author is Jodi Picoult. I think I have literally every single one of her books and I would highly recommend them. Especially if you are a person that likes to look at how other people think.
  24. If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be?
    I actually really like the city where I live, home is where the heart is. As mentioned above though, I would just love a really huge house. Where I could live with whoever, but also enough room for visitors. Maybe somewhere near a beach. Should be easy…right?

 

Please, stay single

There are these people that I know who clearly fooling around with each other behind their partners back. I have lost respect for these people over time and I just have very little to do with them anymore. The whole group is just a mess.

It doesn’t just bug me because they are cheating with each other, but it’s also because one of them was single when they met the other originally. They had just gotten out of an engagement and at the time the other person was married. Yet, even though there were obvious feelings between the two: Person A didn’t even leave their marriage until their partner got an amazing job ‘overseas’ and they just didn’t want to put the effort in. Which is when I really started to lose respect since their partner had given up so much to begin with. It was SUCH a cop out.

Person B then started dating nearly all of Person’s A closest friend while, at least, emotionally cheating on them all with Person A and got engaged to one of them. Then conveniently Person A marriage split up and Person B with their fiance…Coincidence.

STOP USING PEOPLE! NO ONE DESERVES THAT!

usins

I have a hard time not saying anything because I’m one of those people who hates injustice of any type. Which means the best that I feel like I can do is just stay away since no one else in the group seem to honestly care and they even called Perfect B “Perfect” and that they could never think of an insult good enough. So it continues.

What the actual…

What this all comes down for me is to tell people. Please, for the love of god, don’t date someone because you can’t be with the person you want too be with. Please don’t date someone because you’re lonely and you don’t think you can’t do any better…You partner doesn’t deserve that. When you start to date someone, please make sure this is what you really want. You may not be sure that you even want to date, but make sure you don’t drag someone else through it. This world is so small, they are plenty of people out there for you.

Dating someone else because you are alone or because you want to be with someone else is not a strong thing and it’s not what a strong person does….Or a good person and definitely not what “perfect” people do either. You know why? A strong and a good person knows that they are okay by themselves. They know that they are okay being alone and that they believe they will find someone, they don’t need to use anyone else. They also know the love they are getting from their family and friends is enough, or the love they have for themselves IS enough. (If it isn’t, maybe look into that…That’s a post for another day though!).

On some level I actually get it, for some people it is very hard to think of others and other people, and seeing from their point of view. Unless they are actually treated this way themselves. They they just don’t care enough to get it. Too me, personally, it also speaks on a level of having no heart and being some kind of a sociopath as well. There’s no heart or kindness to use another human being in such a way. I think there is something off about people who do that, especially people who repeatedly do it.

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!lol…Love yourself and each other ❤

Appreciate Yourself More!

Jasmine,Appreciate.png

In a world where we have so many young people suffering from self-esteem issues. It was, too me anyways, really great to see someone realise how totally gorgeous they look. However, the comments about this girl were horrible. I just don’t get it. You just cannot win these days. There seems to be an “acceptable” level loving on oneself, and I just think it’s a little ridiculous. If more people appreciated and loved on themselves a little more, we’d have a lot more happier people. A lot less problems too I would be willingly to bet.

Just remember when someone is appreciating themselves, it might be the only day that year that they actually feel good about themselves. So don’t bring them down, because really it’s your issues, not theirs. As long as their not only about their looks, and they are just beautiful on the inside, what’s really the problem?

Share Your World … Week 50

Share Your World

Share Your World … Week 50

Can you believe that we are up too Week 50?! Only two more weeks left of the whole year!

What is your favorite smell? What memory does it remind you of?

I have a few different ones that I love, especially when they “match” with a particular season. For example, I love the smell of freshly mowed grass when it’s Spring and I love the smell of rain coming during Summer, because you know there’ll be a thunderstorm coming. I love the smell of a beach during Summer and I love the smell of cocoa during Winter. Personally as well I love the smell of men’s aftershave, it just does things to me. Sometimes I’ll follow my partner around the house because I love how he smells when he puts it on,lol

What type of pet do you have or want to have?

I already have a dog, a chihuahua to be more specific. There are so many animals that I would love to have as a pet though, but it’s just wrong. Like your Lions, Wolves and Owls. Animals like that should never ever be pets.

Are you usually late, early, or right on time? 

I will always try to get somewhere at least 10 minutes early. It might have been the way I was brought up, but it just seems more respectful. Even being “on time” can put you into a rush. It’s amazing how much you can do and how much you can sit and take deep breaths when you give yourselves 10 minutes. For example, I try to get to job interviews 10 minutes early, so I can do things like pop into the toilets and refresh myself. I have a friend that whenever we get to together socially, she is always late. It drives me nuts! She’s never late for work, so why not show the same respect? Sometimes we can’t get table until she’s there and we can’t order until she’s there. One of our friends has actually started lying to her about the time to make sure she get’s there reasonably on time…And she still manages to be at least a few minutes late each time.

For recharging, would you rather meditate, swim, walk, listen to music, write, read, yoga, qigong other?

There’s usually two things I do to recharge. I either read or I play a computer game that I enjoy and doesn’t make me “rage”. At the moment the two games that I use to recharge are “The Sims” and “Guild Ward 2”. Both these games relax me because they’re not too complicated for me and I usually end up playing them for a while, without even realising how much time as passed.

Remembrance <3

Today is a very special day in Australia Day and I feel like with I can safely come back to social media, because it is very important to remember this and never forget!

poppy

What is Remembrance Day?

Remembrance Day (can also be known as Poppy Day) is a day of memorial and is observed in the Commonwealth of Nations member states since the end of the First World War to remember those of the armed forces who have died in the line of duty.

Every year, on this day, Australians observe a one minute’s silence at 11 am on November the 11th, in memory of those who died or suffered in all wars and armed conflicts.

“At 11 am on 11 November 1918 the guns of the Western Front fell silent after more than four years continuous warfare.” Australian War Memorial.

Why we wear the Poppies video:

Inbetween

Child or Childless…Or are you an “InBetweener”?

I am an “InBetweener”…I can see myself having children one day, but neither am I obsessing about it either. I have my Furbabies and one day will have the ‘hooman babies’ too…Maybe…

This is where my random thought lies.

One of the issues that I have being an inbetweener, you are neither accepted by the “having children” group and neither are you accepted by the “choosing not have children” group either…You are alone in an ever expanding abysmal abyss.

My main issue apart from consistently feeling unwanted is what if I can’t have children, do I get excluded forever? Not having children means currently that people think my time is not valuable, that I can just drop everything at the last moment for their children, without even being asked if I am actually able to come…And to me, there’s no respect in that. When I choose not drop everything somehow I end up being the “worst person ever”…As I was called once when I decided to go to my friends birthday, which I had been asked to come to weeks beforehand, over not going to my cousins kids 7th birthday, which I had only been told about the night before.

I do mean “told”…and not… “asked” if I can come…It is amazing an amount of difference between those two words.

At the same time, I am also constantly left out of conversations by my friends who choose not have children. Take the past Mothers Day here in Australia…One of my best friends decided to tag every single girlfriend of ours, who are not having children and not me in a post about being furbaby mama…I am one too…So why leave me out as well? I found it extremely hurtful.

So I made a post about wishing every type of Mother out there a Happy Mothers Day. That’ll show them!

Can ex’s be friends?

Simple Answer…Yes

Clearly each situation is different. Myself, personally, I am friends and on good terms with at least 80% of mine. One I just can’t see myself ever being friends with for a variety of reasons and the other one…I just don’t trust him…at all. I don’t think anyone should and you should never have anyone in your life if you don’t trust them, that’s not just for ex’s.

I think it always takes time, for every single one of my ex’s that I haven’t or have ended up being friends with, it took time. That’s one of the things about living in a small city, you tend to bump into people a lot…Or at least you know people who know that person.

What brought this topic you may ask? I was recently on Instagram (I’m mainly on there as a lot of the guides from #safarilive post a lot of pictures on there). There was a picture of a guy who had broken up with his girlfriend (ex) and he wrote a respectful tweet about how they had broken but they still respected each other. And the comments were all about how pathetic they are. It was kind of like they’d prefer him to completely trash her instead? What is actually wrong with people?

Personally I would have loved it if any of my ex’s had spoken about me in a respectful way, instead of stabbing me in the back…Repeatedly.

What about you readers, do you think it’s possible to be friends with an ex?

Life Lessons…The hardest of Lessons

This is a little different post for “Life Lessons of the Libraries” and I feel like it’s one of the hardest lessons to learn and I am learning it again…For the millionth times.

Sometimes I feel like heartbreak in a romantic relationship is more than a majority of the time, inevitable. The breaking of a friendship though can sometimes be if not just as hard, but sometimes harder than the break down of a romantic relationship. Clearly there are different variables.

I seem to be going through this with some friends who I thought I was really close with. They just seem to have cut themselves off from me and any-time that I plan to meet up with them, they keep cancelling. The biggest insult is when they’ll hang out with people I introduced them too!

I think the hardest things about these situations is you never seen them coming. You think you are really close and then suddenly you are completely blind-sided. Which is why I find friendship breakups really hard, because you very rarely see them coming. Especially when you are getting dumped for a group of people who are just horrible. Case example, Girls brother comes up to me (guys have been dumping me to be with this girl) and I feel uncomfortable talking to her brother about it. Except he says “They only like girls who can’t think for themselves”…That was the last time I saw that group. However, it’s kind of personally insulting to me to be dumped for a group like that -.- Where siblings have no respect for each other.