New Years!

Another end of the year and I am sure that there will be thousands of posts today about today and all the resolutions.

I know people are waiting for some emo post (especially on my Facebook page) but I just want to say I don’t really have anything to complain about this year. Sure it’s not all been amazing and I was disappointed a lot, but most of it has been…“The good things don’t always soften the bad things, but vice-versa, the bad things don’t necessarily spoil the good things and make them unimportant” That’s my theme for this year. I got rid of a lot of toxic things, people and the way I think. I have had so much fun and when the good things have happened, they have been uh-mazing! I have great family, amazing friends and I am particularly proud of myself too, I have accomplished a lot personally =D

What did you do in 2014 that you’d never done before?

I swam with dolphins, I still can’t get over surreal that whole experience was! Amazing! I walked Mt Lofty and lived to tell the tale! (I did do it when I was younger, but I barely remember it). I changed my hair a different colour and it now it’s turned into this fabulous colour that I have actually always wanted my hair to be. I have done more little personal things that I’ve not done before. Going on an online dating site and actually meeting someone decent,lol

Thank you <3

I don’t really have anything to complain about this year. Sure it’s not all been amazing and I was disappointed a lot, but most of it has been…The good things don’t always soften the bad things, but vice-versa, the bad things don’t necessarily spoil the good things and make them unimportant” That’s my theme for this year.

I got rid of a lot of toxic things, people and the way I think. I have had so much fun and when the good things have happened, they have been uh-mazing! I have great family, amazing friends and I am particularly proud of myself too, I have accomplished a lot personally =D

Thank you so much for those who have been SO amazing this year and my birthday…I don’t know how I am going to live up to it next year!lol…I take my hat off to my awesome life and every single person who has made it so =D

I hope you all have a happy and safe new year!

Resolutions

It is no secret fact that the end of a year, any year, it makes people reflect and look back at the year and decide what they wish to improve on for the new year coming.

Last year what I did was instead of making resolutions for the year coming, I made a list of what I was going to leave behind in the past year. I actually found this was really a lot better than making promises into the future. Mainly because we don’t know what the future holds for us. So instead of promising myself that I would “lose weight” I worked on writing less emo-type posts.

I found that by making promises to myself of what I’m leaving behind, I could concentrate on that. I could work on myself and then I was able to work on things that were thrown at me in my future, things that I didn’t see coming. I have to say that personally it did work for me, so I shall be doing that again. Instead of starting new problems, I decided to work on old issues of mine so that I could leave them behind.

Here are a couple of things that I will be leaving behind in 2015:

  1. Less talking about my ex’s, so I can concentrate on my new partner
  2. Being unproductive and be more proactive on finding a job IN a Library, rather than just having a job.
  3. MORE motivation for meditation!

What are your “tricks” for the New Year? Do you make resolutions, or do you do something else instead, make a goal for the new year?

I hate loving you…

I hate that you made me feel,
I hate that you made me happy,
I hate that you made me feel safe and loved,
I hate that I fell in love with you.

I hate that I was strong and never needed anyone,
I hate that now all I want is for someone to hold me,
I hate that now all I want is to fall in love,
I hate that you made the voices in my head quiet.

Because now they’re back, stronger than before,
Making me feel…That time at night, when all I want is too sleep,
I wont think of you and then…BAM! There you are, front and centre,
The nightmares wont stop…I just want them too stop.

I hate that I don’t think I’ll stop feeling like this until I start to feel for someone else again.

I say all this but I don’t want you back. I just want to stop feeling like this.

I feel like a little lost light.

Dear Me,

(So I wrote this is when I had an overwhelming feeling of anger towards my ex and I was never going to share it, but I think that a lot of people would understand where I am coming from and I had this thought that when I do meet the ‘right one’ for me. All this anger that I feel I am going to feel so ashamed of because I let some…idiot…nearly ruin any chance I have of falling in love again).

Dear You,

It’s okay to feel angry, it is truly alright. Just make sure that you learn and you try understand that not everyone you meet, a much as it seems to suck, will be around in your life forever. Some of them do not realise the potential that is there, and that is okay too. They need to learn to make their own mistakes and one day they will understand what they have done and what you had. This doesn’t mean you need or should feel like you want them back in your life, as long as they learn and never do this to anyone else ever again.

Just please promise me this, do not let this break you, do not let this make you hard and bitter. There are so many out there that look too you to make this day a little more magical, a much more fun place to be in. Yes, he is a moron who just easily threw away an amazingly rare thing. This does not mean that finding that amazingly rare thing will not happen for you again. Believe it, you know it will exist again, I know that you feel it here in the deepest depths of me, I know you feel, don’t ever lose that.

Someone like you was never ever meant to end up alone. There is nothing wrong, even in this day and age, to want the one who has your back, the one who will still love you even in the darkest places of your heart, there is nothing wrong with wanting the one who makes your heart smile, the one that even during Winter, will keep you warm and safe, even when they can’t be there, the one who will warm our soul. Most importantly, there is nothing wrong with being single while you find this one, you do not have to date anybody you don’t want too (though we both know it’d much easier that way).

Take these moments day-by-day, hour-by-hour, if you have too. I know it hurts so much right now and you fought so hard just to have it all disappear like it was worth not a thing. I know that you are wishing with all of your heart he had left you alone earlier, or that you had just never met him at all. I know that he has torn, clawed and scratched at every single dream, word and feeling that ever happened.

You will get through this. You will meet someone who will just make your heart dance and your mind sing. All of this will be yours, I promise you. You just cannot let this make you bitter. Your heart is so full of life and love and it is just waiting to burst open with everything that you have to give. Please, do not let this make you bitter and make your heart turn into a well of cement.

Love Always,

Your Heart

Uploaded on 27 Jun 2011

Seldomly the right thing…

The quote for this week isn’t actually from a well known author or a well known character…This is a quote that I thought of a couple of days ago while I was volunteering and it just resonated with my situation this week =)

“Very seldom does the right thing to do, feel like the right thing to do, and is usually the very last thing that you want to do”

Author – Lolsys Library 2014