Oh, families

My Deadly Relation: Fred West

Doug West (Fred’s Brother) and Sam West (Fred’s niece)

I was watching the above program, and it was really quiet interesting. You know, I never once even thought about the Wests having a family separate from the one that they harmed and killed. I guess, in a way though, that they have been harmed.

Doug West, seems like such a sweet man and the complete opposite to his killer brother, Fred. Doug, kept saying that he felt the need to apoligise to the families who were harmed by Rose and Fred. As Sam West pointed out as well. One, that Doug should never apoligise for what Fred and Rose did, because Doug didn’t do it. Also, two the West family, lost family members too. I don’t mean Fred, I mean the girls that Fred and Rose West killed, including their own daughters, Doug’s nieces.

I couldn’t help, sitting there and watching Doug and Sam West, they are lovely, people! Doug just seems like the nicest guy. It was really hard for me to put him and Fred and John, together. I also had no idea that another West brother was also being looked into harming minors, and hung himself.

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Do it,

So I cut another two people out of my life yesterday “family”.

One is CLEARLY a Tory supporter, and the other posted something horrifically transphobic.

I STILL don’t speak to my Dad, I WILL cut you out too.

If the ONLY time I’ve seen you make comments about women’s sports, is about how glad you are about the banning of trans gender women in Sports. Yeah, you’re a pretty terrible person.

What has shocked me though, these two “people” were raised by GOOD people. My Great Poppa Joe and Nana Doris. I think I’ve talked about them before? There’s just NO way those two would have been Tory supporters. I expect that kind of behaviour from my Dad’s side, lol

How does that even like happen?lol

Great Nana Doris, had a child out of wedlock, in like the 30’s, still called her child, hers. Had one leg cut from the knee, because of polio. Yet, if you didn’t know, you never would have thought she had a disability. And my beloved Poppa Joe, wrote things like “The world will never be at Peace, until we are all coffee coloured”. He didn’t like Religion, he questioned it all the time. These two human beings were “woke”, before we knew what that word was.

These are my Gran’s parents. The woman who went backpacking around the world, by herself, in her 50’s and helped people with Aids. How do they have such a terrible son? Mind you, I don’t think their son has been out of his town, until he came to visit his sister for the first time, last year. My Gran has been here, in Australia, since the 60’s.

WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON!

Single in a small city

For those who have been following my Blog for a while now, have probably seen my Category called Single in a small city. Now, the funny story behind this catgeory, is that I created it and the next month I ended up being in the relationship that I am in now, for 7 + years. It felt a little odd to be talking about dating, when I am off the market.

For the longest time, I didn’t know what to do with that Category, and now I think I know what to do!

I’m going to give out dating advice, dating advice and also how to help handle breakups. Sometimes, people need just the cold hard “yes or no”. Which is funny, because I’ve only had (have to count this on fingers) 4 real relationship’s in my life. Watching other people though, and having a now ex-friend obsessed with being in relationships, she was the reason I did not want to be in one, lol. Sometimes being an outsider, you can see things, that others cannot.

So I am changing the name of that Category =D Have a look … I don’t actually like the name, but it’s all I could honestly think of, without sounding totally creepy, lol

Just when you thought you knew everything about your partner…

… You realise that you don’t.

But not in a bad way, just a surprising way.

I must start off with saying that I am not actually getting married. Sometimes I like to consider these things. You know how I don’t want just a white wedding dress, I want a dress that represents me, and all white, is not me, lol. I need something with a little something different.

I just found recently though my partner wants me to wear all white, because his family are a bit funny with things like that. So, yes, a red wedding dress is apparently completely out.

It did really make me think about though how often my partner still surprises me, lol. I didn’t think he’d care about anything about a wedding, maybe the food (haha) but that was it.

What about you and your partner, or any partners from your past?

On a completely different note, what is IT, with other people thinking they can tell you what to do for your wedding? Like your marrying someone for them, because of them, not other people, lol. I already thought I might have to get bridezilla on my own side, but I will with anyone else too, lol.

Relationships

These two…Too me, this is what a grown up relationship looks like…

The video itself is about 42 minutes.

With so many people breaking up during this virus, it’s made me wonder what is a successful relationship? Of course, each relationship is different, and each human being is different. But why have so many people broken up during this pandemic? It’s just interesting to me. Whether people have been spending too much time together, or not spending enough time together. I know one thing for sure, if one person doesn’t want it to work, it won’t. But is it just me, but do a LOT of people seem to be breaking up? My partner and I didn’t, we actually did really well,lol.

I think that this pandemic, really showed couples who they are together. It showed good things or bad things in our relationships, and not just the romantic ones.

I was going to write more, but I think that their video is pretty great really!

Share Your World – 25/05/2020

I just wanted to point this out, because I keep forgetting to mention it. I will/have started to write the date as dd/mm/yyyy…As that is part of my world. Being Australian, we put the day first, instead of the month.

Share Your World – 05/25/2020

Questions:

In your opinion, does patriotism require the belief that one’s country is the greatest on earth?

No. You’ll have moments where you think it is, but nothing and nobody is perfect forever. We all have our moments.

Why is patriotism considered by some to be the highest of virtues? What is so important about love of country? Shouldn’t we be more concerned about humankind, or the planet as a whole, rather than a single country?

I think it’s more of a “pride” thing. Some people feel like they choose to live where they live, so it must be perfect, like them. They wouldn’t be living there if it wasn’t perfect. I love Australia, but I think (and I think a lot of others can relate) our current Government. Has shown the very worst flaws in our Government systems, and our Country. There’s nothing wrong with having a flaw, the problem happens when you don’t want to acknowledge it. It’s like having a cancer, all that happens if you don’t acknowledge it…well, you die.

What is the relationship between decisions and consequences?

They are related by, whatever decision you decide to take, will have some kind of action. it might be good, it might have consequences. But it all starts with that first decision.

What is social justice?

Social Justice is usually used by your every day human being. It’s kind of like taking the Law into your own hands. Most of the time, people don’t break the Law. When I think of social justice, I think of people like Martin Luther King Jr, Gandhi, Mother Teresa. People who protest peacefully, people who make the point with no violence. People who want to make a difference for others, like Greta Thunberg.

and one ‘easy’ one because those others?  Fairly difficult.

What’s one body part you wouldn’t mind losing? (told you.  Silly).

Either one arm or one leg. I think that I could get by still if I lost one of them. Okay, maybe a leg, I still want to be able to open jars, open my own packet of chips/crisps.

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Gratitude:

What is something that made you smile during the past week?

I started watching John Oliver’s “Last Week Tonight”, last week. Anyways, he was talking about sports, and those missing them, those who are already over it. You have to watch the segment. All I’ll say though “Jelle’s Marble Run League”.

All my life.

As I said in my post “All that I’ve learnt “. One thing that I learnt a lot this year was how someone can know you for your entire life, but not know you. Take my Dad, I blocked him earlier this year and I’ve had moments where I’ve said “I’ll contact him” today and then he’ll contact someone else, and he clearly has learnt nothing. I don’t know why but this lesson was the toughest one I learnt this year.

Think before you “Do”

I still think it’s funny about my category “Single in a small city”. For those who don’t know, when I created the category “Single in a small city”. I think literally, I went on a date the next week and that was 4 years ago and I’m still with the same guy. So a couple of months later I felt a little like a fraud writing about being single, when I wasn’t anymore. It felt a little rude, writing about being single, when I was not.

Before getting into a relationship, here’s what to consider.

1. Probably the most important thing to do before you get into a relationship. LOVE YOURSELF…In every way possible!
2. I know it sounds unromantic, but make sure you can get out if you get in.
3. Never lose your friendship with your friends. Keep them around. Don’t dump them. But know it’s okay if your new partner becomes friends with them too.
4. Be prepared to not give up things, if they’re not willing to be respectful either.
5. Take the time to sleep together, it’s so much better with the waiting.
6. Saying that too, it’s okay to take you time to trust a new partner. My trust in people was broken after my last relationship. It took time to trust my new partner, even though nothing was his fault. You gotta heal yourself.

Any advice readers?

Friendship breakups 1 of 2

*So I was going to write a really long post, but I thought that it may bore people to read my point of view. So I’m going to write it in two parts. One talking about a basis of where I’m coming from with friendship break ups. The other will be about how to spot if you’re in a toxic friendship and how to get out of it. Purely from my personal experience*

I was replying to an answer on Quora (Quora is fabulous by the way). Someone asked the question about how do you know when your relationship/partner is toxic. I started off by saying that I think they already knew the answer. Normally I would respond with just that. However, since the other people who answered were about how wonderful their partners are…

I decided to talk about how the hardest, but most toxic relationships I have had trouble letting go of are, which are friendships. Romantic relationships have been much easier for myself to let go of, especially when it’s right. All I needed was one toxic romantic relationship that I hung onto, to realise how I should just let them go.

Why Do People Believe Narcissists Rather Than Their Victims?

The most obvious answer is, this is what Narcissists are really good at. It’s what they do.

For myself, when I wanted to start letting go was when I got into an argument with my now ex-best friend about her on again off again abusive relationship. It didn’t start off as that but it deteriorated. It was when she “slipped” and admitted that the reason we hear about all his abuse was because I was single and when she’s single she doesn’t like hearing how happy we are. That comment was my ah ha moment. It disturbed me to no end, what also disturbed me though was the other two were not disturbed at all that she’s only happy when we’re miserable.

I’ve started to realise that it is possible to have or be in an abusive friendship. We put so much emphasis on romantic relationships that we forget that the relationships that we have the longest can possibly be abusive as well. Family, friendship etc. Every time I’ve heard of what people who are abusers have done to other people, I’ve started to realise that it is extremely possible to have a friend that’s abusive towards you. I mean why not, right? Why think that abusers are only relegated to family and romantic. I’m sure they don’t.

It’s why I think we find it so hard to let go of friendships. Because socially, we’re really only told about abuse is abuse when it’s domestic or romantic. Why not friends?

When you take a look at incidents of manipulation of gas-lighting…I wonder how many of us can relate to a friend who has done this to us?

There is good news though, once you recognise the signs. You then get the choice to leave or stay. I think that is one difference with friendships, once you have decided to leave, you tend to be able too. You’ll probably get gossip and you’ll probably lose friends, but friendships tend to be easier to leave than other types of relationships.

Knowledge is ALWAYS powerful!

 

Share Your World…April Wk2, 2019

Share Your World  – 4-8-19

QUESTION:

• What does a successful relationship look like to you?

I think there are definitely varieties of “success” and what would make a successful relationship to each individual. For myself,personally there are a couple of things.

1. You’re not constantly having “dramas”, including breaking up and getting back together.
2. No matter how hard the subject is, you feel comfortable enough to go and talk with your partner.
3. Saying that, you can say that your partner is your best friend. Maybe not your only best friend, but at least one of them.
4. In the day of social media, if you have a partner that doesn’t really like using social media or having their picture taken (like mine). You actually respect that, you don’t push them into anything.

• If you could turn any activity into an Olympic sport, what would you have a good chance at winning medal for?

The only thing I could really think of was honestly “listening”. I know that I am really good at that. People tell me that one all the time and also how I’m nice and how rare that is.

• What do you wish you knew more about?

Everything! Honestly everything! I always feel like I don’t know everything, about anything.

• What is better in your opinion – asking for forgiveness or permission?

I think it’s better to ask for permission. Forgiveness, implies that you, or them, have already done something that maybe they should have asked for permission!

GRATITUDE QUESTION

• What’s the best thing about your life right now?

It’s been a frustrating week for myself, it’s gotten pretty dark to be honest.  I am just fed up with a lot in my life right now. However, what keeps getting me through is everything in my life. Those who are close and personal to me, I mean. Not just the general population.