Role Reversal?

Here I am again, feeling frustrated because no matter how many times I have rejected a guy. Apparently it is MY responsibility to make them feel better again and for months to listen to how much they like me and how strong they’re feelings are for me. Even though I have made it clear that 1) I am NOT interested and 2) I have met someone.

If I did this, I would be call ‘crazy’, ‘pathetic’ and ‘stalkerish’. Yet, if I call them that and I don’t just sit there, take it and listen to something that I think is actually unhealthy and not helpful at all, I’m a bitch. Why? Why do we just have to put up with these guys harassing us? The emotional blackmail as well! I got so fed up with one guy today I literally broke and started to lose it. When I told this guy I was refusing to talk about any-more his feelings for me (I said no to him mid-December and he knows I’m dating someone else) because it was clearly not healthy and it was clearly not helpful for him. He tried to turn it back on me “Oh, I was just asking how you were doing”. I LOST it! I have not lost it like that in a really long time.

I literally FEAR rejecting guys now, I really do fear it. I have been humiliated on Facebook because of rejecting someone, which honestly made me even MORE glad that I chose to say no to that guy. Why anyone of them (a group of people decided to tag me in a picture that basically called me a “bitch” and posted it on their Facebook, they wouldn’t have dared to post it on my own wall) would think that that would make me want to date him more is beyond me. I have had guys go off on me while in their cars, that is scary as!

Guy listen to me…Man up! Not one single girl I know finds it sexy to constantly harass us after we have rejected you, in fact, it makes us want to stay away from you even more you and humiliating us does NOT work for us! Not one single girl I know has changed her mind after you posted on her wall any type of “friendzone” meme. It makes us even more glad that we don’t choose you, except we can’t say that because we’ll be called a bitch and then have our name dragged through the mud.

Online Dating Update

Thought that I would give a little update to my online dating experiences (and hopefully give you something fun to read on this Sunday night).

Guy Number one:

I shall call him number one because it seems to be going really well with him. The first date we couldn’t stop talking to each other and I knew that I liked him when we got home late and I needed to get up early the next day and so I kind of ran out of the car, but then, in true girl like fashion, I realised he hadn’t kissed me…and I wanted him to and woke up the next morning with regrets =/

Guy Number two:

This one is going nowhere. Guys there are only a certain type of girl that will like the needy “tell me everything and who you are talking to” guy…I am not one of those. I had to finally reject him and let him know that I was not interested. There was nothing “bad” about him, he is just not the type for me.

Advice:

My biggest advice is to meet anyone you meet online in public, do NOT meet in them in private. Do not let them pick you up or drop you off on the first date (possibly the second too if you’re unsure). Do pay attention to what they are saying, guy number two (for example) starting asking me pretty nearly straight away who else I was talking to. Although I am not very experienced in online dating, I felt uncomfortable about him asking me. DO listen to your gut instincts. Once I had turned him down I have now spent the past three days (I am not kidding) trying to explain to him I am just not interested. It really feels like I’ve broken up with him, rather than just letting him down.

Online Dating

So I did it…Last night I joined an online dating site.

So far it’s been a nervous wrecking process and I have absolutely no idea what I’m suppose to do.  I’ve got quiet a few responses and just a little while ago the guy who I was initially interested in and the reason why I joined the site in the first place, said he was interested in talking to me! The funny thing was I had been waiting and waiting to hear from him and I knew that he was constantly looking at my profile, but he wasn’t saying anything!

I haven’t tried online dating for many years and it assumes me greatly that it feels exactly the same as if I was at a party. You know that feeling…There is that one person whose eye catches your fancies, but the entire night it’s every other person whose actually coming up and talking to you, and you and the person you are actually interested in, just make eye contact and then they’re gone.

It’s also quiet an intimidating process. In my past when I’ve rejected a guy they haven’t always responded well, so I really life in fear of having to reject anyone. Luckily with this particular site though (as a friend whose used this site told me) if you do reject them, they make it so they can’t contact you again, to stop them hassling you I guess.

Now if you excuse me I have to think of some funny and witty reply to reply to his guy with…Ah, the pressure!

 

The wrong one…

One of the frustrating things in this day and age is getting hit on and asked out on a date by someone you are just NOT in too. Why you ask? Shouldn’t we be flattered and honoured that someone finds us remotely attractive? I say to you friend, No…For one tiny little label…”Friendzone”.

I can’t even begin to say and tell how many times I have said “No” to a proposal of a date because I am just not interested, to wake up the next day to a whole posts of being tagged in a “Friendzone” type meme. I have been publicly called a slut and humiliated in front of my ex (which is a huge NO NO!) all because “How come girls go one about how there are no ‘good guys’ out there and then we end up chasing jerks”.

Except I have never once said that there are no good guys out there? I don’t even believe it. None of my girlfriends have said it either. Yet, because of one guys bruised ego we are automatically given a label of being bitches and harlots because we said “No, not interested”. I in fact still keep being asked out by one particular guy all the time, even though since I’ve known him I’ve had two relationships! Yet I made to feel bad because I choose not to date him, still? If I kept chasing a guy like that, I’d be called “desperate” and still I am in the wrong, for saying “No”.

It is actually terrifying these days to “reject” someone. I use to literally just say “I’m sorry, I’m just not interested”, but now I feel like I have to come up with a whole explanation. I want to be able to say that girls do this too, but I never really seen a girl ever complain about being put into a “Friendzone”. I honestly believe it’s more scary these days to reject someone rather than asking someone out.