Share Your World, Feb Wk1, 2019

Share Your World

Share Your World, 2-4-19

QUESTIONS:

What’s wrong but sounds right?

I have honestly been having a hard time answering this one. I keep trying to think of putting two things that I enjoy, but too others is gross. I just can’t think of anything really good.

What physical action or gesture do you find romantic?

It depends on the person. My current partner, I love it when he gives me cuddles, just because. Mainly because he’s not really an emotional person. A few months ago I realised in the middle of the night that I was about have a anxiety attack, so I did what I’d do to calm myself and I woke up. He woke up too and asked me what was wrong, I couldn’t speak, so he just hugged me and it made feel so much better.

What’s something you really resent paying for?

I haven’t 100% yet resented for paying for something…Yet. There is something I bought recently that has me worried, mainly because it’s not here yet. I bought a preorder figurine in August last year, and at first the date for release kept changing. They have recently contacted me (after ignoring my last two messages) saying that they’ve been sent, so it should be here by the end of February. So we’ll see…It’s a figurine I really want too. I do buy some clothes online.

What’s your favorite romance movie?  A movie you may find romantic, even if that’s not the genre.  I’ve been watching a lot of those lately, loosely titled “romance movie” and found a surprising number of dramas, action and comedy among the hearts and flowers.

I am so weird! My favourite “romance” movies are usually the dark type. Someone dies, someone doesn’t get the girl, but they kind of do…But the other guy never really has the girl “heart”…metaphorically.  They are usually musicals as well. I have never really gotten into “romance” films. I find them kind of predictable and sort of boring.

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And of course we have our gratitude of the week question:

I am grateful that my puppy is still here with us. I don’t think she’ll ever be 100% again. She has pooped, after a few days of not popping. She ate today after not eating for two days. Still walks in circle. In all honesty, I think my Gran, who we asked to look after her, is stressing her out. Mainly because her mind seems to be going as well. It’s been stressful to leave my dog, when she leaves all the doors closed, so my dog can’t bathroom anywhere else but the rugs. I thought it was interesting that when my Mum offered to take my Gran out for lunch, so she didn’t go stir crazy being inside our house all day. That’s what my dog started to eat again.

My dog helped me when I had my first huge anxiety attack. We went walking together, so I didn’t become all agoraphobic.

Who are you?

Talking with the girls (as one does) and we were talking about which ex’s do we regret the most. I’m not sure that I actually regret any of my past relationships, however there is one relationship that has an interesting way to view it and I wonder if I am alone in this.

My last relationship I felt like he was lying so much about who he was, that he never knew who I was. To me there is not way that he could possibly have cared about the real me, because if you don’t know who a person is…How can you possibly know what can hurt them? How would you know what they would consider to be a betrayal?

I put it down to this, it was like dating an actor, but dating their amazing fictional character and then realising, disappointingly,  you were dating this whole other real reality. It’s the best way that I can think of to explain my last relationship. I think that’s why I find it so hard to get over what happened…Who did I date? Did I date the man, or the character?Any ways…Don’t matter no more ~.^ hehe

Wobble…Like Jelly…

So tonight I had a bit of a freak out and a bit of a wobble. Currently here in South Australia we are experiencing a major devastating bush fire, people lives are being lost, homes and property completely gone and we unfortunately had one well known kennel and cattery burnt down with many of the dogs and all of the cats still on the property.

Anyways this same night I had a date with the number one guy (there is no number two guy anymore). I heard that the suburbs that three different ex’s of mine are from, were required to evacuate. I couldn’t help myself, I got worried and I realised that I still cared. Not in love care, but worry something will go wrong kind of caring. Then I got angry at myself for caring at all. My mum told me it was perfectly naturally to still care and worry while not being in love with that person.

I hate though that I still care about these people who obviously never cared about me. I highly doubt that if they heard that I had to be evacuated that they would worry about me at all. I got so upset that I still care and I know that they don’t and now I’m frightened that it’ll happen to me all over again.

I can already tell it’s happening, everything that the number one guy did tonight bugged the crap out of me and yet I know in the back of my head none of it’s any of his fault, so I managed to fake a “sickie” and get myself out of the date earlier than anticipated and then collapsed in tears when I got home. 30 years of being treated like hell and I think that I broke tonight. I can feel myself cutting off and becoming cold.

p.s. I will be fine, I just can’t seem to stop crying tonight.

 brokengirl

This Matthew West guy seems to get it…

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