If you don’t talk to the people actually involved, why are you speaking for them?
Too me, it seems, if you don’t talk to trans people about trans issues, maybe don’t talk or make decisions about them. If you don’t talk to sex workers, don’t talk or make decisions about them.
I’m looking at you UK!
But this does apply generally.
I will write about a example though of when you should sort of debate with yourself, who you should listen to within these groups too.
Debbie Hayton is a trans woman, or not, depending on whether you are a “TRA” or a TERF or Gender Critical. Debbie is a trans woman though, who frequently (meaning all the time) sides with transphobic people. One thing she has said is “trans people are not marginalised, and I am trans!”. Now the problem with this, is one, Debbie is a late tranisitioner. Which in itself is not a problem, plenty of people transition later in life. But the reason for Hayton transitioning later? As she admitted herself, not because she didn’t know she was trans, but to protect her children from bullies.
If being trans isn’t marginalised, why do you (commendably) need to protect your children?
Like, if there’s no problem with transitioning … Surely you can just do it whenever you want? You wouldn’t need to worry about protecting your children. Take POC, a lot of POC parents have to talk to their children about how to be when they’re confronted by the police.
That’s just common sense, right?
Hayton is one example, by what I mean when I say, actually LISTEN.