Progress

Right now, I am nearly a week into getting my wisdom teeth removed, and its not been at all what I expected.

I had the operation done on Wednesday and I still am feeling a little pain, I’m handling it a lot better, and still freaking out about eating rice or anything with coconut. Every day it gets a little easier. Then on Sunday, my leg started up as well. At least I can understand a little better what chronic pain is about.

I am not saying that my pain has been worst, or that I’ve never had empathy. Normally when I have pain in my leg, it’s normally only for a couple of days. It usually doesn’t impede my eating either.

Which is another thing, when I went to get weighed before my anesthesia, I’m 78 kilos! Which is 171lb! At the time, I’m like after this, I am losing weight! This week, hasn’t been a problem so far. I think my body is compensating for the pain, and so I can’t eat as much.

It really has been a fascinating week, although I can’t lie when I write that I am looking forward to less pain, and hopefully, the less eating will continue to happen. Although last night, I had baked beans on toast and a quick steam up pudding with custard, haha.

I just feel so silly though! All these horrible horrible things are happening everywhere, and I’m complaining about my jaw!

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The mindset

Look, a good mindset will make your life so much easier. Sometimes I know it’s hard to do on certain days.

*I will still be checking my post “Ask me anything” for at least another 5 hours. If you would like to ask me anything.*

I had a lot of time to think over the last few days, and the one thing that still “annoys” me is, people complaining about masks. Like, I get it, but I have a worn a mask whenever it was clearly appropriate and I will continue to do so.

I don’t actually, properly, understand what the problem is. Of all the things you can do to help, wearing a mask, while it might be annoying. They’re not asking you too find a cure. Wearing a mask, getting vaccinated are literally the littlest things you can do to HELP others.

I don’t understand why people make such a fuss about them. Have we really lost that much empathy and sympathy for others? Like I wear a mask so much sometimes I forget I have one on. Sure, it’s annoying, end of the world? No.

We’re not in the Ukraine. They’re not asking you to fight a war, just put your mask on to help others. Is it going to last forever? No. But the more you do less to help, the longer it’s just going to be around for. We really are a generation of instant satisfaction. Get over it, lol.

Sometimes I think I’m really odd. Then other times I’m like “Nah, it’s just what must be done”. And at the end of it all, wouldn’t you want to be look at yourself in the mirror and go “I literally did all I could”?

A little lesson about “mainstream” for the bigots out there.

EVERYTHING in this world, this is accepted NOW. Once had to become mainstream for it be currently accepted as the “norm”.

This isn’t rocket science, it’s simple logic and facts. Like, I can’t believe that I have to write a blog post, because idiots out there don’t understand that we all once, whatever group we’re in currently in now. Had to become mainstream, in order for the world to PROGRESS forward. Except for white men, even saying that though, being white started off as a mutation, did you know that?

When something becomes mainstream, it simply means the MAJORITY of people are now accepting that group. Which IS progression, it IS progressive as a society. Heck, some people out there, including other women, don’t like that it’s become mainstream for women to have a career AND a family.

Mainstream is also representative of the times, and one should look to the younger generation to see what’s “hip and cool” lol. As I mentioned before, even these days, some people thinking that women working and having families isn’t okay. That started to become more mainstream during the War years. When young women, wives and mothers had to start working while the men were away. Before that it was, in fact, mainstream for women to stay at home.

Intersex Awareness Day

Oh my goodness! Intersex people get forgotten a lot. So they need all the days and time that they can get! Let’s give them our time, they are human too after all.

Once again, I’ll just remind anyone reading this, that I am cis gender straight woman. So if I write something wrong, or get something incorrect, please let me know. I write from a place of privilege and I acknowledge that.

Intersex Flag: The flag was designed by Morgan Carpenter.

The Progress Pride Flag.

Intersex is a general term used for a variety of situations in which a person is born with reproductive or sexual anatomy that doesn’t fit the boxes of “female” or “male.” Sometimes doctors do surgeries on intersex babies and children to make their bodies fit binary ideas of “male” or “female”. Doctors always assign intersex babies a legal sex (male or female, in most states), but, just like with non-intersex people, that doesn’t mean that’s the gender identity they’ll grow up to have.

There are currently around 30-40 variations of Intersex.

Now clearly from my upper paragraph. The biggest issue that Intersex people have are Doctors getting the “okay” to do unnecessary surgery on newborns, from the parents. The fact that a lot of intersex infants don’t get to have a choice later on in life. Their body and their choices are taken over by others, before they can even speak, about where THEY think they “fit”.

But activism by and for intersex people is growing, leading to some changes in our culture, which right now treats intersex as a medical problem instead of a natural, healthy way bodies can be. Today, more and more people believe unnecessary surgery and other medical interventions shouldn’t be done on intersex babies and children at all. Instead, intersex people should be able to decide for themselves when they’re older if they want treatment or surgery.

https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/gender-identity/sex-gender-identity/whats-intersex

I’m not really sure what to write about, because, again, I am not intersex and so I just don’t feel comfortable writing about “facts” so to speak. What I will write about though is how you can help the Intersex community, and I will also post some links you can find out how you can help yourself.

1. Research what you can, and listen to Intersex people. Now, like with any group, I have seen close minded Intersex people, who go out of their way to harm the trans community (as a example). With any researching and listen, make sure you listen to more than one person.
2. Intersex Human Rights Australia
3. Respect how a Intersex person, determines for themselves, to be who they are.
4. A low-range statistic for traits evident at birth is around 1 in 2,000 people (.05% of births) but a more likely figure may be closer to 1.7%. Roughly the same amount of people with red hair.
5. Being Intersex is not a health issue. Intersex people, have a healthy body. The biggest issue is with fertility.
6. Some Intersex people do and some do not find the term “hermaphrodite” offensive.
7. Some are LGBT and some are not.
8. Intersex people are just regular people, as you or I. The only way it is a mental health issue, is from the shame that Intersex people may experience.

What is Intersex? Planned Parenthood (America)

Affirm the: 2017 Darlington Statement (Australia)

Its Intersex Awareness Day – here are 5 myths we need to shatter (Amnesty International)

SOGIESC Unit: Fact sheet on Intersex Person Rights (South Africa)

Nurt Thurs – Progress

Nurture Thursday – Progress

Every step, is a step forward. Every breath is a breath more. Every second is a second more.

Don’t Worry be Happy

A couple of weeks ago I had the weirdest day I had had in such a long time. I was going for my L’s Theory test and the first thing that happened was I bumped into someone from high school and we had a chat about my ex friends from high school and that situation. Then I went and did the test and went across the road to the local mall and walked pass this girl that has never liked me and she recently unfriended me on Facebook. (I don’t know when she did it, but we both got tagged in something and that’s when I realised, because I don’t go to her page) Since I don’t have an issue with her, I smiled and she gave me the coldest shoulder (and no smile) I have ever received.

I had to laugh and shake my head…It’s ridiculous!

I’ve always had this feeling that she’s thought that there’s some sort of competition between us…and I just genuinely do not give a…

I don’t even understand it because all the guys in this group love her. She’s done these horrible things and they still love her, so that’s them, not me. I don’t like how she’s treated people (myself included) but it’s not like they don’t know what she’s done. Maybe it’s because I don’t worship her or something like that? Generally I don’t do that for anyone, not even with celebrity. I’ve never understood that frame of mind.

Anyways, I digress,

I laughed and shook my head because it made me realise something. I don’t have time or the mental space to worry about people’s make believe problems anymore. How privileged she should feel that someone who doesn’t really care about her…Doesn’t care about her, but everyone else still loves her…I would LOVE to have those problems!

 

Share Your World, June, Week 2 2018

Share Your World – June 11, 2018

If you could choose any person from history to be your imaginary friend, who would it be and why?

Oh gosh, a quicker question would be who wouldn’t I want it too be! lol…I’ve really had to think about this one…I’ve managed to narrow it down though between three people. One would be the artist, Monet, the other Audrey Hepburn and the last would be Cleopatra or Nefertiti. I did think Einstein too, but I think he’d be way too smart for me!lol
I’m going with Audrey Hepburn though. I feel like she did so much with her life. She was intelligent, she was kind, she was real go-getter. She did so much for other people. Although I am completely fascinated by Cleopatra, she killed a lot to get where she was. I don’t really know that much about Nefertit and I mainly love Monet for his art, but also because he reminds me of my Great-Grand Father, but he’s not.

60s, 70s, 80s, 90s: Which decade do you love the most and why?

I love the age of the 90’s. I kind of love the 60’s too though. SO much happened in both these eras. I love the fashions of the 60’s, but I also love the progressiveness of the 60’s and the 90’s. In both America and Australia (though I was not born yet and too young to be a Glimmer in my father’s eye). You had the Civil Rights Act and the Australian Indigenous people got the right to vote. Those these are probably not much now, but they were HUGE steps forward for the time. It didn’t solve all the problems, but it was s start! The beginning is a very good place to start.

When you die, what do you want to be remembered for?

Just someone who wanted everyone to be happy. Someone who wanted peace both worldwide and for everyone inner’s self.

What did you appreciate or what made you smile this past week?  Feel free to use a quote, a photo, a story, or even a combination. 

Sometimes you do just take the little things that have made you happy and focus solely on them. Anxiety wise, I’ve been a rough week and it’s been making so tired, but it’s been really lovely getting into bed with my partner. Now we haven’t been able to do the hanky panky (I’m not able to this week and my partner hurt his ankle and is in a boot) but we’ve been cuddling and mucking about. It’s been really nice and makes me forget about my troubles.

Happy Birthday MLKJr

Today is the birthday of probably one of the most influential people and most progressive I have ever heard of…

Martin Luther King Jr isn’t just well-known for is words in America, but his influence around the world.

I feel sad today because after he helped so much with Civil Rights, I think he would be so disheartened to see who America has in charge, and his supporters. The words that has come out of that mans and his supporters mouths and what they have written. Although I do hope that he would get the people to march again! I feel like that’s what we are lacking in this situation.

Martin Luther King to me has true power. Had true words….Was just true…

Did you know: This year it will be 50 years since he was murdered…How far do you think we’ve really come?

Let the name of Martin Luther King Jr and his words trend today!

A point of view

I was just thinking about things in the shower after watching an Australian tv program that I really liked. Until they talked about the removal of statues in America, of course it was a whole white panel. Too break it down it sounded like they were saying that people were trying to erase history and they should be used a tools to show far America had come.

First of all the alt-right protesters marched with torches (all be it Tiki torches) AND swastika patches. A symbol that HAS been outlawed in Germany since WW2 over 50 years ago!. Exactly how far has that point of view progressed exactly?

This is my other view of that is Germany has outlawed that symbol and yet, still, in 2017 we are still talking about it. So how does taking down a couple of statues make people forget History? It doesn’t. I know how a lot of people tend to only think about things that have happened to them. So let’s look at this situation this way. Which is nowhere the emotional level, but is a similar way to think about it.

When you break up with someone and you burn everything of theirs, or just get rid of it. Do you stop thinking about them, do you even stop talking about them. I know personally I can have nothing in my life that relates to everything about my ex’s , but I still think about them. I still make jokes with my friends about them. They never truly ever “disappear” just because their stuff has “gone away”. Yet, why would you keep it? Especially those ex’s that were truly horrible? Would you keep things of theirs that are just out there and you go past ALL the time? It’s illegal to promote the swastika symbol, yet have we forgotten it, no we have not.

Put these statues where they belong…In a museum, that does not glorify them for being…well losers…They lost…

Taking a step backward…Step FORWARD!

Maybe not the best way to set up a Monday, but I felt like it was a point that I wanted to talk about, of something that happened to me over the weekend. I felt like I had taken a huge step back.

*Just warning…If you do suffer from a anxiety and you’re having a bad day, this post may not be for you today. Even though there is a positive message behind it. I don’t want to be responsible for any triggering.*

Friday morning i had the day off of work and with how well I had been on Thursday, I had decided to head out and do some shopping on the Friday morning. Lately I have been ordering pretty much everything online, because I don’t know how I am going to be from one day to the other.

Taking you back to last year, after an traumatic incident, I have developed an, well I think, a really odd form of anxiety. Too break it down, because someone, who will remain nameless at this point, decided that no, they could not pull over (even though we went past a McDonald’s, a gas station AND a public toilet) and let me out to get to a toilet. I spent 20 minutes basically trapped in a car, actually NEEDING to get out. After the person had left me hanging all day while I drunk tea all day and no food. We were supposed to go clothes shopping, but they had to do some things in the morning. Which was fine, but once it got to 3pm, I was starting to get annoyed. I didn’t know if we were eating, was I supposed to eat first. I was actually in the middle of a text to let them not to bother, when they finally showed up. Our clothes stores close at 5pm on the weekend.

So giving that they finally turned up, we basically run out of the door, which was a bad idea. I didn’t go to the toilet before we left and I had been drinking all day, to fill my stomach. I had been filling my bladder instead.Since then whenever I am in a car, or travelling. I get anxious and feel like I need to get to a toilet badly. I have been getting better with help of hypnotherapy.

I was actually getting better, until a couple of weeks ago. I had one bad night, where I don’t even know what happened, but my stomach hurt and I just had to go. Then it feels like it’s gotten worse, with a rare good day here and there, and just this Friday morning I nearly ended up crying in a shopping mall. It was horrible and I hate it.

I felt SO fed up, I’m tired of fighting it because it’s feels so stupid. When I do go, even in the woes of panic, nothing happens…I can’t even begin to tell you how frustrating it is, how tiring it is. I can’t just do things on a whim and even when I plan things, it still doesn’t always work out. I’m alright coming back and forth from work and sometimes travelling to my partners house I do really well.

Then I have mornings like I did Friday…

I try not to be too hard on myself, I’m doing well every well else, just more necessarily when I have a “duty”.

 That’s the whole thing though, I am so tired of it, that I now have a plan. I had stopped doing all the things that had helped when I started to get better, because I swear just that one bad moment has seemingly ruined it all.

1. So instead of doing it once a week, like I was before. I’m not going to be mediating and listening to my hypnosis tapes, at LEAST every second day. Definitely the night before long trips.
2. I have to promise to myself to not be so hard on myself.
3. When I go shopping by myself, if I need to leave, then I need to leave…It’s alright
4. I have to start walking my dog again, because that was what honestly what started to heal me before. Whether that be a 5 minute walk or a 30 minute walk, I handle what I can handle. That’s what I used to do before. The walks got longer and longer over time.
5. No coffee before long drives.
6. Mostly, it’s okay to admit I am not okay, but I will be. I am not going to let this defeat me.
7. Trying to figure out a way to calm my mind down before I get into a car, especially with those unexpected trips.

I would actually really like any ideas, or any suggestions about any of the above, or if you want to share…Please feel free…No judgement!