The best lessons in life, are often the hardest!

With any relationship in life (whether that be romantic, friendly and family) sometimes the worse situations we go through with them, are the lessons in life that are the hardest to learn.

Throughout my life (and I am sure others as well) I have learnt the most about myself and others, through my worse situations. Over the years this has meant that I have learnt every single time from it.

It’s been coming up a lot about how I’ve been since I lost my “friends”…I was worried myself for a bit there because I was really happy to be honest,lol…Maybe I am this terrible human being…Then I started to realise, no, it’s because life before this has taught me so much and when I started to realise how little they brought to my life…because it’s was always about them…Not anybody else…That’s when I forgave myself for not being sadder.

It was interesting because my partner said to me that if they came back on their hands and knees begging for my forgiveness and I said “No…I’ve already forgiven them, but I will never be friends with any of those three ever again”.

https://giphy.com/gifs/tauriel-jFfx12oSQCa2c

I had a situation a few years ago where these two girls were constantly cyber bullying me and it got to the point where I deactivated my account. I then made a new Myspace (that’s how old this story is!) and I did not put these girls back…for more than obvious reasons and I lost a LOT of “friends” because of that. I was competently gobsmacked by that, but it also proved who truly did care and who never did. All those who had unfriended me never had a conversation with me before they did it. It became very apparent to me that these people clearly put certain parts of their anatomy over actual friendships.

The funniest part I found about that situation is that over the years they’ve stopped speaking with each other, but then came back together and stopped speaking again,lol…Then one of them sent me a friends request on Facebook, no message, nothing, no apology…So I declined,lol

Keanu Reeves

The biggest reason I don’t miss them is because they never brought ANYTHING to my life, it was always about them! You can’t miss what was never there!

Forgive…Or just don’t care?

That is the question…

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I was just randomly thinking about this…and my current situation with some people.

My Mum has always said that the opposite to love is not hate, it’s indifference..and I agree with her.

I was talking about my situation with a few people and they said “I’ll bet it takes you a while to forgive them” and the thing is…I already had…the next day….I thought to myself I think a lot of it had to do with simple the fact, I just had stop caring.

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I was more shocked that not one of them mentioned that I had ended up in hospital and not a single one of them mentioned that they were glad to hear that I was alright.

However, that was just even more proof too me…It was always about them…Hindsight and all that…I have been more upset about losing jerks of ex’s.

But had I forgiven them so quickly, because I just did not care anymore?

So if you just don’t plain care anymore, is that the same as forgiveness? Or is it just easier to forgive because you don’t care either way.

My Mantra

I have been hearing a lot lately about Mantra’s and I have not only been wanting to figure out what they are, but what are they meant for?

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How to create your own personal mantra – Oprah

A Personal Mantra is a sound or a group of words that are personal to yourself and yourself alone. You repeat them to yourself…They can be syllables, a sound.

Spiritual Mantra’s are a sacred utterance, a sound, a syllable, word or phonemes, or group of words in Sanskrit believed by practitioners to have psychological and spiritual powers. A Mantra may not have a syntactic structure or literal meaning.

Mantra – Wikipedia

The most well known Mantra is “OM”

OM

Om is said to be the first sound heard at the creation of the universe. When each syllable is pronounced fully, you should feel the energy of the sound lifting from your pelvic floor all the way up through the crown of your head. The droning sound of the Om is said to unblock the throat chakra, which can lead to more attuned communication with others.

Why am I writing all this?

I want to find my OWN personal mantra…The best way I’ve discovered that most people do this is too:

  • Write in a journal for 30 minutes, write in the mornings as your mind is usually clearer at this time.
  • Rewrite what you have to written, put more a pertinent focus on what you’ve written.
  • Write a focused, declarative statement.
  • 10 minutes a day…Say this statement. You can do it walking, you can do it eating…

Restart 2018

Restart – The Daily Post – One Word Prompt

I have been doing a lot of thinking today and it’s been interesting. It was a huge coincidence that a lot of things I’ve been thinking about had to do with the one word prompt from the Daily Post – Restart.

I have not had the best start to 2018. In fact it’s been pretty terrible, my casual position with the Library was terminated…and no one told me.  I “lost” three best friends. I just recently discovered that one of my other “friends” from High School unfriended me as well, but kept my mother…Bizarre? (My mother unfriended her). The poor fool, none of the other girls like her. She keeps popping out babies (6 kids to four different dads) and the others HATE kids…Let alone the lack of respect of her and her children. My other casual job has given me less hours.

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However, while I’ve been frustrated…I’m perfectly fine…I haven’t cried once. I am in fact…feeling the best I’ve felt for a really long time.

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I know right?!lol

For everything that’s gone wrong…So much is going right! I’m now in talks right now to help volunteer at a writing club! I am completely scared out of my mind, but completely excited about it too…For every person that has “unfriended” me recently, I have gotten close to others. All the people that keep unfriending me, they have always been toxic to my life. Which mean that I am being left with those who really love me and care about me. Getting less hours, it’s been a kind of compliment as well, I am worth more than new workers, like literally…Because I’ve been working there longer, I get more per hour than they do…So it’s not a personal thing…I’m just worth way too much,lol…I have also become really social…I now have the skills to talk to strangers and make general chit-chat…Even two months ago, I would never have been able to do that. Having to see different people (doctors, hospitals etc) to talk about my health and my issues, it’s made me more upfront…This is it…This is me…

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So while I wish some things hadn’t happened, or had happened at different times…If wasn’t for those people, those moments…I wouldn’t be here now. I’m even getting WAY more views on my Blog that I was before…I’m not sure what happened there,lol

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Published on 26 Oct 2017
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Would you…or would you not?

I was reading up about how Kim Catrall had at go at SJP sending her condolences about Catrall’s brother. A lot of people came to SJP’s defence. I have to say though and Kim Catrall said it as well

If we are not friends, and it is ABUNDANTLY clear that we are not friends…I would be pretty pissed at someone for sending condolences, especially on a sudden family death. I may not have a go at that person publicly, but I would certainly be pissed! If one of my ex’s friend sent me condolences, I wouldn’t say a word, but I would still be peeved. You should wait and see if the grieving person comes to you first.

Maybe it’s just me though?

Share Your World … Week 3

Share Your World

Share Your World … September 18th 2017

(Sorry, I hadn’t originally posted the link!) 

Complete this sentence: I want to learn more about …

I would love to just keep learning in general. I love to learn. If we get specific though, I would love to learn more about all these ancient cultures that I am completely fascinated with.

On a vacation what you would require in any place that you sleep?

Mainly that it just be tidy and clean. Nothing worse that hopping into a bed that has dirty sheets. Also that it’s not too cold or too hot. I kind of struggle when it comes to sleeping in places that I’m not familiar with.

What is your greatest extravagance?

I am actually about to buy my greatest extravagance, it’s of a Harley Quinn figurine with her “Hyena”…Yes, hyena…Wrapping their leashes around her leg, while she’s trying to shop. I just need to organise my taxes, but I should have enough to buy it.

If you’re in Australia, find it here: Batman: The Animated Series – Harley Quinn Harley’s Holiday 10” Statue

If you’re in America, find it here: Batman: The Animated Series – Harley Quinn Harley’s Holiday 10” Statue

Before that though, there was a drawing that I commissioned a few years ago (see below) and I have been in love with it ever since. At the time it wasn’t expensive because they were first finding their feet. Too me though it was a extravagance because it was a drawing of me. Surrounded by a lot of “fantasy life” type things. I had never really asked someone to draw me in any way whatsoever. Please press the links for of the Anthea’s work,

Anthea Wright: Digital Phoenix

Lauren_Final_a_s

What inspired you this past week?  Feel free to use a quote, a photo, a story, or even a combination. 

I guess what’s inspired me this week was my Dad going into hospital and having heart surgery, it’s definitely made me want to be more healthy. It’s not just about living forever, it’s also about living well. So you don’t have to go to hospital.

Reading a Book a Day, keeps the Doctor away?

Well it kind of Rhymes?

As you can see by the title today is National…and I think International Read a Book day! As someone whose Bloggers name has “Library” in it. It feels somewhat wrong for me to not write something on this day.

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(Who couldn’t see this Gif coming?!)

Let’s share a little on this glorious of days! Either copy and paste these questions or write in the comments below!

  1. What is your favourite book? (Take a picture with it if you like!)
  2. Which is your least favourite and why, or least favourite series?
  3. What are some good Book/Reading type Blogs you would recommend?
  4. If you could be a character, any character, from any book…Who would it be?
  5. What is your favourite book to movie…movie?
  6. What is your least favourite book to movie…movie?
  7. If you could write your own book, what would it be about?

 

All the Yes’s!

Movie and Book cover

Now we all know the book is pretty much all the time better than the movie. Which is why sometimes I wont read the book until I’ve seen the movie. However, I don’t always believe this is true. What I try to do, is separate the two. I tell myself before I see the movie that this is not the book, it’s a completely separate thing. Sometimes when I look at the new covers, I feel it doesn’t really let you use your imagination. It almost feels like when you see the movie character on the cover, that’s it…That’s the character. That’s it.

I do dislike it though when they decide to “update” anything really. Take Star Wars for a good example, when they decided to make 1,2 & 3 and they changed the original ending of number 6 and put Hayden Christensen at the end instead of the “original” Darth Vader, Sebastian Shaw (I say “original” because there were about 3 people who played the original Darth Vader). Now ALL the new dvds and blurays have Hayden Christensen at the end…Even though he didn’t “die” young…It’s just a silly concept, which makes no sense. Darth Vader died an older man, not a young one. They didn’t change Obi-Wan, did they?

I think I can, I think I can, I know I can

13. A Challenge you’ve overcome

Henry Ford

Well I haven’t overcome my anxiety…yet…but I will!

*Long Post Incoming!*

Let me explain…

So I will reflect on a time when I felt like “Why does everybody hate me” I was getting cyber-bullied, when cyber-bullying wasn’t even a really a “thing” yet. I felt like it was never going to end and it made go so inside myself…metaphorically…I never felt like I was going to recover…Mainly because the bullying just didn’t seem to be ceasing.

The odd thing about the situation was I had never met the “ring leader” she had just decided that she didn’t like me. She didn’t want to be with my boyfriend, but constantly would use him. Even within 24 hours after we broke up she just HAD to tell me how he had tried to kiss her, she felt it was only right to be honest with me…I managed to keep my cool…And then found out a couple of days later he had actually tried to kiss everybody…and I do mean everybody…Guys included…It just got even worse after we broke up, with her. My ex and I are now fine, we’re actually really good friends.

It went on for about 6 months roughly. 6 months of stressing, every second day throwing up, every day getting some sort of message about how horrible of a human being I was, losing friends because I unfriended her (those are not real friends by the way). This was going on every day, or at least every other day for 6 months…It felt so much longer at the time.

After that 6 months I started to realise something, which then changed my life and the way I deal with girls and situations like this. How unhappy must she be? For all the talk about how much she loves the guys and by love I mean she constantly talked about how much she wanted to sleep with all of them, while they were dating her best friends. They literally stopped being friends with me because she wanted them too…

How unhappy must you be to attack someone else? No one who is happy, attacks others. You just don’t.

When you are truly happy you do go out of way to attack someone, especially someone you don’t even know…You just can’t be bothered…Why wreck a good life?  When I started to realise the power that I had, how sad her life must be…I started to come out of my shell again…What could she honestly do? The people who are always there for me, stayed with me. I was safe. When I started to realise these things, I could even start making jokes at her expense. Which sounds mean, but it was more I was having a conversation with someone on a forum and she just had to tell me how “immature” I was being. So I called her “MissButtSexputdrugsinouralcoholwantstohaveorgiesandhavesexwithmybestfriendsboyfriends…is calling moi immature?”. Pretty much every topic on that forum was her talking about one of those topic. She did not like that. Her response was toxic and she got banned from the forum. The irony being she has not only ended up with the guy that banned her, but they are still together and have a kid!

The result of this was giving me a life back. My Life.

I was able to laugh at her, I was able to laugh at the situation. It was ludicrous. I was finally able to stop it from affecting my life and I was actually able too start moving on from my ex as well. That was part of the problem, she kept bringing it up. I must have taken that selfie of myself to make jealous, except for the whole he couldn’t see it unless they were showing him, thanks to my privacy settings. Constantly being told how happy he is with his new girlfriend etc.

This is what it has helped me overcome in my future life…

It also taught me the biggest lessons in my life. About relationships in any form, family, romantic, friendships. What is appropriate, what isn’t, what I should and shouldn’t apologise for, about who is really there for you. How I don’t want any fake relationships of any kinds in my life. I have also been in a similar situation since and I learnt SO much and how to handle it, with pretty much no drama. That has my life has been pretty much drama free since then.