…When your mind goes completely blank on an ex’s name?
Here comes another obligatory Valentines Day post. Let’s make it a short one hey since I have to go out and do the whole “Valentines’ Day” date thing.
Saint Valentine’s Day, also known as Valentine’s Day or the Feast of Saint Valentine. A holiday observed on February 14th each year. It is celebrated in many countries around the world, although it is not a public holiday in most of them.
I personally have never been a big fan of the day, I have never actually had a good one.
The last ex, we weren’t really dating at the time of Valentines Day. One before him, he started off good, then after work he forgot to come back and I found out that he had cheated on me on the same day too. The one before him we broke up on the last Valentines Day we were together and the year before that his friends ate my present and he never replaced it, I also had to spend all night with them too. The boyfriend before that lived overseas, so we were never together for the day any-ways.
So pretty much, as long as my teacher doesn’t cheat on me, or eat my present, he doesn’t really have a lot that he has to worry about to be honest, and we’ve had a good laugh about it. As he has also had nothing but disasters.
When I’ve been single on Valentine’s Day I have gotten together with either my Mum or a few single girlfriends (or friends) and gone out to dinner and movies ourselves and that was just as lovely, I have once felt alone on a Valentines Day.
Whatever you end up doing, or don’t end up tonight, don’t worry about it. It’s just another day and lets be honest, if you need one day to have romance in your life with your partner, man that would just suck! Romance should be all of the time (well maybe not ALL the time, but hopefully more than once a year!).
You know it’s weird, I keep reading all these poems lately about people who have met, fallen in love and it hasn’t worked out and yet they miss them and wish that they could have worked it out. I seem to keep getting to the parts, where it says that it hadn’t worked out and they wished that it had and that’s it…I can’t keep reading passed to the whole “I wish we could have worked it out” part.
I’m not even sure that it’s because I’ve met someone that I want to be with and like being with. I think it’s because my last ex is someone that I now consider to be the only relationships that was a “mistake”. I can tell that he’ll be the only one I will never have in my life again. Yet, I still get SO angry as to what happened between us. I still feel like my whole year was wasted by him, I’m not really sure what I learnt from it either.
So it’s part of the reason why I’ve read all these posts about putting the past in the past but wishing it would have worked out and I don’t “like” any of them. I think that they are beautifully written, but I can’t get past the whole “I wish it would have worked out” part. There’s a reason these things don’t work out. Someone who loves you and cares about you will never leave your side, other than for death. Might be a little morbid, but it’s what I strongly believe.
I am having a bit of an conundrum and I would love my readers to give me some advice. At the moment there are not many people who I know who would be able to help me with this ‘situation’. Once I’ve gotten a clearer mind and am more sure it’s what I really want to do, I will know which step to take next.
While fighting with my ex last year, I bumped into another ex of mine. Literally in the middle of a fight with my last ex and I literally bumped into the one before him. We had a pleasant exchange (apart from the total and utter fear on his face). Recently in my state we had huge devastating bush-fires and I know that his parents house was in this area. He doesn’t know that I know he now lives with his current girlfriend. However, it has made me think a lot because the place we “bumped” into each other was actually where I work.
I don’t hate him anymore and I don’t want him to fear coming into where I work. Especially with the bush-fires it’s made me realise that I know he wasn’t a bad guy and a lot of his lying was to protect me, in his own weird way. I was his first ever girlfriend and he was so used to being a “player” that lying is honestly the only way he knows of.
My question is, should I unblock him from my Facebook and write just a little message saying that I hope his family are alright and he does not have to fear coming into where I work?
So I made it through today and here I am sure that everyone expected me to fall. I am so proud of myself today, I thought that I was going to fall as well. Even with everything wrong and hard that is going on around me, I made it through. I made it through and I did not have to pretend once. Every single smile was real, every joke I made, everything was real.
It would have been your birthday today and I hope that it was one you enjoyed and hopefully with this event may you grow and learn even more about all the wonders with this world, instead of the stagnant life of getting drunk every day. We will never be friends, we are just two completely different people, but I still want the very best for you. I will not forget what you did to me and I don’t think I should.
My heart is healing and I have another to thank for that, he is so honest. It is something that I can honestly say that I’ve never experienced, he keeps me safe but doesn’t play around. If he doesn’t like something he tells me, and he expects the same from me. I feel safe, truly safe.
Day 15 – 17: Family – Well I spent this time with my Family at our reunion and I get along well with my family. Couldn’t be more grateful for a family like mine.
Day 18: Walking – This one probably seems like a bit out of the blue =D Well at the family reunion we took a walk on a Summit and it was 4km all round…and extremely steep. Meaning when we woke up the next morning, none of could walk…I am not even kidding! As I walked up and down the stairs I started to realise what my life might be like at 80. For the first time in, even in the last couple of days, my life I have been eating so well and now I am saving up to go and get my health checked up.
Day 19: The Past – I have had a really nice day with two of my ex’s. The first was just being silly with one who I’ve been been friends with for a while now, he was my serious relationship. Which is nice, it’s nice to have someone who knows me as well as he does in my life. Knows all my darkness, but still hangs around me and thinks that I’m still pretty “neat”…BUT the best part of today was my last ex and I have been talking since my family reunion. We have decided that we will try to be friends, but we are going to wait until the New Year. I am SO happy, I never wanted it to end as ugly as it did. He’s so special to me and such a unique individual, I can’t describe how glad I am.
Day 20: The World Wide Web – Today I got to experience something amazing…a once in a life time experience. Thanks to the amazing wonder that is the Internet I got to see not one…but TWO baby Wilder Beast being born, live…Sure it wasn’t the same thing as seeing it in the “flesh”, but even probably 5 years ago I wouldn’t have been able to see it at all!
If you want to experience amazing live web feeds too, this is one that you should definitely watch!
Day 21: My “real” friends” – So today I told a bunch of people that I was tired of being treated like a second class friend and I do not like the way I’ve been treated. It amazed me how many people came out in support of ME! =D I had finally had enough and had the final insult today. I told them enough is enough. I have done nothing wrong to them and have continually be treated badly for not a single good reason, sure I don’t rub their ego’s, but that is not reason to treat someone badly…You earn respect, you don’t just ‘get it’.
Once again going with my music video theme for this week…This is a song I repeatedly listen too and have for many years. I think that a lot of others can relate to this song and Kate Winslet doesn’t, surprisingly, sound too bad. I think though, if a lot of people knew who this songs relates too for myself, they would be very shocked…Because it is not any of my past boyfriends. Whenever I am having a rough time with a partner, or a potential partner I somehow always stumble over this song.
Uploaded on 19 Feb 2010
Artist – Kate Winslet
Title – What If
Record Company – EMI Records
Technically I know it’s only been 5 days since New Years (still can’t believe that!) but it’s also Sunday, which is the end of a calendar week and so far so good!
So as I mentioned at the end of last year I would be taking up a Blogging challenge! It’s called “The Single Woman’s 30-Day Blogging Challenge” and would post a weekly blog with the answers in groups of seven and here is the first group:
1) Your response to everyone’s favorite question: “And why are YOU still single?”
Well my first response is I normally laugh that question off with “I choose jerks and bad guys all the time” When I really look into it though, that has a bit to do with it. Considering I’m friends with all of my ex’s except for one (because he really is a jerk), they cannot be that bad. It’s a horrible question because if I knew that answer to that I probably wouldn’t be single to begin with!
I don’t think I am making completely horrible decisions with the guys I’m picking. I know what I want and at the time these guys genuinely seem like they can provide it. I have talked about marriage and kids with all three of my relationships and I didn’t like bringing up the conversation. So I always felt like they did really want it, because they were thinking of it. The hardest relationship was my first, which was long distance, because I was too young to understand what a great relationship we had. With neither of us willingly to make that sacrifice, that was it. It’s hard sometimes because I still think he very easily could have been the one. I have actually told him that he was my favourite so far.
I enjoy being single and I think that’s a majority of my problem. I remember with one relationship where I actually use to tell my boyfriend not to come with me, because I knew he wouldn’t enjoy and he would sulk and that would upset me. It ended being so bad I still wish I had spent one New Year without him! I think when I meet the one where I enjoy being in a relationship more than being single that’ll be the one for me!
2) Describe a moment or a day when being single really sucked.
Like the author who created this blog challenge, I 99% of the time LOVE my single life. There’s just this one moment where I feel it really sucks to be single. Those nights where the thunderstorm is just perfect, perfect for snuggling and having that lazy sleepy conversation that is full of your fears as you both can’t sleep from the thunderstorm. That conversation where nothing necessarily “happens” but just that moment reminds me that I’m single.
3) Describe a moment or a day when being single was really awesome.
I feel like there have just been so many moments! I am one of those girls that enjoys being single and I have no problem with it. A few moments that stand out though are my formals, I actually was single for both. Most of the couples ended up in fights, the girls wanted to dance and the guys didn’t, the girls got mad at their boyfriend for daring to look at another girl and there was me running about, dancing, eating, jumping in to take photos and dancing again. Even this past new year’s, I was salsa dancing all night with gorgeous men…I have never salsa danced before!
4) Your biggest fear as a single person.
My biggest fear is honestly when I got out, especially when it’s in the city or downtown. That is mainly because though I am a tiny person and I know that if someone wants to hurt me that they really can if they want too. I am not going to lie when I say that this is one of the reasons I like guys with the big arms. They give the impression that they can protect me!
5) The biggest misconception you think people have about single life
That because I’m single that I MUST want to date…This is not true at all! Yes, I would love to find a companion to be with and I have no doubt that when I find “the one” I’ll know and that everything will be fine. If I was to date someone now, especially with everything that I’ve been through, it would completely end in disaster. I remember when I was about 24 and I went to a psychics show weekend and I had a reading done on myself and they said that I would meet the ‘one’ in my early thirties and thinking at the time “That’s so far away!” I’ve been told that two by two different psychics!…Now being only being a few months away from 30, this looks like the reality…I will never doubt a psychic ever again! lol
6) Sound off on the quote “Every woman has the exact love life she wants”
I think this is debatable. Mainly because I didn’t go into a relationship hoping that it would end, I wanted them all to last and they all ended for different reasons. Sometimes you love someone and they just don’t love you anymore, sometimes you realise the relationship is going to go nowhere even if you want it too. For myself, personally, I would have done anything to keep my first relationship and we are still good friends even today! It was pretty much impossible to be together anymore, so that is not exactly what I want…Then again you could debate that is exactly what I wanted, to end it.
How many times have you liked someone and they just don’t like you back? That’s not exactly what I want!
7) Where you are in your life vs. where you thought you would be at this point
Absolutely not! Ten years ago I and probably everyone else around me thought I’d be the first to get married, to have kids…and now I’m the last in my family to do so! I didn’t know what I wanted to do and now I want to do nothing else but work in a Library, anything else would feel like a drain.
For more information please click this link :http://thesinglewoman.net/2013/10/04/the-single-womans-30-day-blogging-challenge/