Damage

I am writing this to find out more about what you all think.

One thing that continually disturbs me about a lot of Rowling cult, is the insistence. That if you liked HP as a child, or even as an adult, then you are obligated to defend her. The out right disturbing harassment of Emma Watson, Rupert Grint and Daniel Radcliffe. With grown adults saying these individual adults, OWE Rowling, because she gave them their careers.

It disturbs me, because a lot of these people have kids. How many of these “adults” think they’re children OWE them something? How many of these “parents” think their children owe them unquestioning alliance, like my Dad does. How many of these “parents” think their children are THEIR property. I’m nearly 40, and I am only really NOW standing up to my Dad. That’s a long time, really it’s pretty much half of my life.

Hopefully I live to 100, but I doubt it, lol

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What a man, what a man, what a mighty good man

LONG POST INCOMING! Once I started I couldn’t stop!lol

I also feel like I need a disclaimer here: *I like guys, I really do, some of my favourite people in the whole wide world are guys. Sometimes I prefer them over other girls. They can be just so much more fun than women. With both genders though, there are people within BOTH genders who make it very difficult for the rest of us. This post is NOT a “guys are jerks” post. As a straight girl though, this is what I have come up against…a lot. This is from my perspective.

I had an incident a few years ago that every now and then comes up for me and it still irritates me SO much. For two main reasons:

1. I was tagged in a quote I have never actually even said. I own who I date and I don’t think all guys are jerks because I’ve dated a couple of jerks. Some of ex’s are even nice people as well, and they are good people. We broke up because they love wasn’t there anymore, or it was just never there. A lot of my ex’s are very charismatic and since I’m a shy person, I found them hypnotic almost. You know that saying about opposites attract? Either way I have never said it.
2. If you’re going to tag me in something publicly on Facebook, you could at least have the courtesy to have…I don’t know…An adult conversation with me about why I had a one night stand, not that it’s even actually your business. Especially after I’ve turned you down 3 times. I really don’t appreciate having strange guys attacking me. While, ironically, in the quote, you call yourself a “Good Guy”. For future reference a good guy would NEVER get his friends to bully you into dating him.

Also though, to tag me in a post saying that calls all the other guys I have dated are jerks, is not just an insult for me, but some of my ex’s as well. I am actually good friends with a couple of my ex’s. You are attacking good people, who are good friends of mine. So be careful.

Personally, I don’t know what exactly they were trying to achieve and I clearly made the RIGHT decision, by making a personal vow to myself to never date anyone from this group, even before this happened …

Clearly the best decision I have ever made for myself!

Every time this situation comes up for me though, or when I think about it. I get so annoyed about it because I’ve had, one too many times, been attacked by a “good guy” when they’ve actually been complete douchebags. It’s something I want to know, what makes these guys think they’re goods guys WHILE attacking girls/women, sometimes they don’t even know? If girls are not dating you for the “jocks” ever thought, it might just actually be you? Just like the girls who go after the “bad ones” … Especially when I see SO many guys fawning over “mean girls” and girls that are constantly cheating on them, or using them. I have lost guys as friends AFTER they have broken up with their ex’s, who constantly cheated on them, because they are allowing the girl to still use them…I didn’t want to see them get used anymore, and not find a good partner, and I lost them as friend…They always come back though,lol

It goes both ways…It always has…I don’t know if you’ve noticed…

BUT

You are NOT going to get the person you want, by attacking them and getting your “friends” to gang up on them either. (That’s just a general world lesson too).

Now I am actually going to get to the topic…A long way to come!

What makes a good guy a good guy, or what makes a man to you?

Too some of my “good guy” friends they all have the same characteristics. Beard, play the same guys, same music, do the same activities, give themselves all Superhero nicknames…Pretty much all the same. They think along the lines more of “Well there are 20 other guys who are doing the same thing, so it must be alright” -.- In a small town that can be toxic!

Too me a “real man” has values, has a backbone that he sticks too. They don’t change their values according to which girl (or guy) they want to have sex with more. They will actually grab themselves by their family jewels and have a conversation with me. Rather than just attack me on Facebook in a quote I have never said.

Some of the BEST  and good men I know wear dresses

 They’ve had to fight and have had to be brave to come out, so they just “get it”. They get to be real, they get to just be themselves and never to lower themselves.

It’s too late to apologise

I have kept meaning to post this one! There is nothing more that makes me angry than someone who will try and hurt you by shaming you, publicly, and then not have the backbone to apologise, even privately! I honestly and really don’t care if you tell every other single soul on this planet “I shouldn’t have done that” You HAVE to tell ME! (Also I am aware of my bad spelling, but I was trying to fit it all in).

Share Your World … Week 37

Share Your World … Week 37

(I’m just warning you all, this ones a bit long!)

Have you ever owned a rock, pet rock, or gem that is not jewellery?

I don’t think that I have really ever owned a pet rock or jem that is Jewellery. I do remember once someone giving me a very pretty rock that was painted beautifully, but I never considered it to be a pet. I had a lot of plush toys, so I never really needed a rock pet, I guess?

What is your greatest strength or weakness?

Strength – A lot of people say that I am one of those people who is just there for others. I think it’s one of my strengths, sometimes I don’t even realise how weird it is how I’m there for people. One particular situation that stood out was after I broke up with an ex, there were all these girls who thought he was going to date them…And he didn’t, and they all came to me, trying to hurt me initially I guess, to get back at him? I managed to turn it around and ended up being their friend. I felt kind of bad for them really, he cheated on me with all these girls, but he also clearly made them feel like they were “the one”. He didn’t seem to really care how much he had led them on either. I helped them and I was over him before they were.

Weakness – As strong as I feel these days and I feel I can stand more on my own when it comes to my point of views and beliefs. I wish I just didn’t have so many “triggers”! There are some topics, especially on Facebook where I still get really wound up and get emotional with people and their comments, instead of just ignoring it. I recently unliked a page because of their refusal to even acknowledge, that men do in fact suffer from family and domestic violence.

What makes you feel grounded? 

Spending some times with my furbabies, they just want love really…Except for the cat, sometimes he just want food and for me to let him in and out of the house (we rent, so we can’t put in a cat flap). Other then them, I love having a shower and/or bath and listen to music that takes me away, like Enya, anything Celtic, anything “mythical”, if that is even a music genre,lol.

Would you rather never be able to eat warm food or never be able to eat cold food?

I think I would rather not eat cold food again, although a lot of salads are “cold”…Or are they more neutral? I love having hot food during Winter, it makes me feel warm on the inside, which then radiates through the rest of me. Whereas I don’t really feel like that with cold food, except for maybe ice blocks/ice cream.

This or That?# 50

This or That? #50

What’s worse:

Lending a book to a friend and having it returned damaged or not returned at all?

Oh this is a good one! I think not having something returned is worse, especially if they just never mention it ever again. It’s just more of an annoyance for me if they damage it. That’s mainly because though, sometimes things getting damaged just happens, I try not to think that someone would intentionally damage property I’ve lent to them. Never returning it though can make situations very awkward, especially if they never own up to it.

Share Your World … Week 52

http://ceenphotography.com/2015/12/28/share-your-world-2015-week-52/

Wow! So the last of “Share Your World” … What a ride! Who knows what I’ll be doing next year! SO let’s finish this one with a BANG! =D

Tell how you are feeling today in the form of a weather report. (For example, partly cloudy, sunny with a chance for showers, etc.) 

I actually writing this on the Tuesday 29th, but it wont be posted until Thursday the 31st (Happy New Year). However, the whole week is supposed to be really the same (somewhere around mid 30 Celsius … High 80 – early 90 Fahrenheit). So it should actually be nicely warm all this week.

What is most memorable about your high school years?

I would have to say that it was the final year of High School for me (and not because it was the last year either). I wasn’t “popular”, but I wasn’t “geeky” either. My little group could pretty much sit where ever we wanted because were kind of cool with everyone. Down Under our Wendys (Australia) sells Hot Dogs and not burgers and every Friday lunch time my girlfriends and I would always get a “Cheesy Dog” (pretty much a Hot Dog with cheese, instead of just sauce). Every now and then I still get them,lol.

Have you ever owned a rock, pet rock, or gem that is not jewerly?

Knowing me, I probably did, but I can’t honestly remember if I did or not.

Complete this sentence:  I like watching…

Ustream Djuma (live stream) in the morning, I usually have that on in the morning, it’s extremely soothing and very meditative, just some sounds of very early African sounds. Also, whenever I can, I like to watch Ustream Wild Earth Safari’s, they are only twice a day for three hours each, but it’s amazing!

Share Your World – Week 16

 http://ceenphotography.com/2015/04/20/share-your-world-2015-week-16/

 

What are your favourite spices?

It depends what we’re talking about here. I love all sorts of spices in all sorts of different way. I love cinnamon on top of my chai latte, but I also love how certain herbs will make my spaghetti bolognase taste amazing. I am honestly not sure that I could ever choose just one spice.

What object do you always have with you when traveling and why?

Apart from the obvious, the other thing I always travel with is at least one book. No matter what situation I am going into, it’s great to have a book that I can read whenever there might be an “appropriate” moment. The other thing that I do though is always pack an extra pair of underwear, you never know when someone might through you into a lake and ruin your underwear!

What is one thing you love about being an adult?

The freedom, even with or without a car. The ability to be able to go where ever we want whenever we want, there’s no one to answer too. I don’t have to be in a by a certain time, and I can have whoever I want over. By the same token though, sometimes my Mum always knew who was a good person and a bad person for me too be around.

What item, that you don’t have already, would you most like to own?

I have been wanting to get a 80’s Rogue X-men figurine for the longest of times, but they are always either not available any-more or they are way to expensive. Either that or if I’m being all socially responsible I would get the outside entertainment dining set-up for my Mum. I kind of want it too though,lol.

Bonus question:  What are you grateful for from last week, and what are you looking forward to in the week coming up?

I am grateful for my new partner, he is just lovely and I actually feel like he would actually miss me if we broke up. He treats me so well and he hasn’t made me cry once! The week coming up? … It’s my birthday next week so anything that happens to me is going to be great!

30 Days of Gratitude…Self Gratitude

Before I was going to write individually on each of these last few days what I was grateful for, but it’s been such a crazy week that I have decided to leave these last few days and write what I’m most grateful in one big go…So here I go…

Self Gratitude 

I have decided that I NEED to change my life. After months of going back and forth with my last ex, I realised I didn’t trust him any-more, especially not the way that I did once. I have to take my ownership in that. I don’t think that he was a bad person, but I needed to be more sensible in the choice that I was making. I needed to ask him hard questions before we started dating. Which started making me think about all of my past relationships and question why they have thought it was alright to treat me the way they did, when they don’t do it to anyone else? What made them look into the eyes of someone they were supposed to have loved and cared about and go “You’re going to get hurt by this and I don’t care”?

I have decided that I am too hard on myself. I trip myself up by worrying to much about how everyone else is feeling and doing and then I end up putting myself on the back burner. So then I don’t achieve all the things that I needed to, to get anywhere in this life. This includes family, friends, everything aspect of my life. Even if my family don’t think I cook, when I cook a lot (sorry I don’t put everything I make on Facebook *rolls eyes*) Doesn’t mean I have to stop cooking things I enjoy cooking.

I think that the hardest thing in this life is to be grateful for yourself. Its you who gets you through those tough days ultimately. Your mind, your body, your spirit. Its yourself who chooses to step up and take care of yourself.