What a man, what a man, what a mighty good man

LONG POST INCOMING! Once I started I couldn’t stop!lol

I also feel like I need a disclaimer here: *I like guys, I really do, some of my favourite people in the whole wide world are guys. Sometimes I prefer them over other girls. They can be just so much more fun than women. With both genders though, there are people within BOTH genders who make it very difficult for the rest of us. This post is NOT a “guys are jerks” post. As a straight girl though, this is what I have come up against…a lot. This is from my perspective.

I had an incident a few years ago that every now and then comes up for me and it still irritates me SO much. For two main reasons:

  1. I was tagged in a quote I have never actually even said. I own who I date and I don’t think all guys are jerks because I’ve dated a couple of jerks. Some of ex’s are even nice people as well, and they are good people. We broke up because they love wasn’t there anymore, or it was just never there. A lot of my ex’s are very charismatic and since I’m a shy person, I found them hypnotic almost. You know that saying about opposites attract? Either way I have never said it.
  2. If you’re going to tag me in something publicly on Facebook, you could at least have the courtesy to have…I don’t know…An adult conversation with me about why I had a one night stand, not that it’s even actually your business. Especially after I’ve turned you down 3 times. I really don’t appreciate having strange guys attacking me. While, ironically, in the quote, you call yourself a “Good Guy”. For future reference a good guy would NEVER get his friends to bully you into dating him.

Also though, to tag me in a post saying that calls all the other guys I have dated are jerks, is not just an insult for me, but some of my ex’s as well. I am actually good friends with a couple of my ex’s. You are attacking good people, who are good friends of mine. So be careful.

Personally, I don’t know what exactly they were trying to achieve and I clearly made the RIGHT decision, by making a personal vow to myself to never date anyone from this group, even before this happened …

Clearly the best decision I have ever made for myself!

Every time this situation comes up for me though, or when I think about it. I get so annoyed about it because I’ve had, one too many times, been attacked by a “good guy” when they’ve actually been complete douchebags. It’s something I want to know, what makes these guys think they’re goods guys WHILE attacking girls/women, sometimes they don’t even know? If girls are not dating you for the “jocks” ever thought, it might just actually be you? Just like the girls who go after the “bad ones” … Especially when I see SO many guys fawning over “mean girls” and girls that are constantly cheating on them, or using them. I have lost guys as friends AFTER they have broken up with their ex’s, who constantly cheated on them, because they are allowing the girl to still use them…I didn’t want to see them get used anymore, and not find a good partner, and I lost them as friend…They always come back though,lol

It goes both ways…It always has…I don’t know if you’ve noticed…

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BUT

You are NOT going to get the person you want, by attacking them and getting your “friends” to gang up on them either. (That’s just a general world lesson too).

Now I am actually going to get to the topic…A long way to come!

What makes a good guy a good guy, or what makes a man to you?

Too some of my “good guy” friends they all have the same characteristics. Beard, play the same guys, same music, do the same activities, give themselves all Superhero nicknames…Pretty much all the same. They think along the lines more of “Well there are 20 other guys who are doing the same thing, so it must be alright” -.- In a small town that can be toxic!

Too me a “real man” has values, has a backbone that he sticks too. They don’t change their values according to which girl (or guy) they want to have sex with more. They will actually grab themselves by their family jewels and have a conversation with me. Rather than just attack me on Facebook in a quote I have never said.

Some of the BEST  and good men I know wear dresses

 They’ve had to fight and have had to be brave to come out, so they just “get it”. They get to be real, they get to just be themselves and never to lower themselves.

amelia-bloomheart

This or That?# 50

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This or That? #50

What’s worse:

Lending a book to a friend and having it returned damaged or not returned at all?

Oh this is a good one! I think not having something returned is worse, especially if they just never mention it ever again. It’s just more of an annoyance for me if they damage it. That’s mainly because though, sometimes things getting damaged just happens, I try not to think that someone would intentionally damage property I’ve lent to them. Never returning it though can make situations very awkward, especially if they never own up to it.

I love my Fantasy

If you had read from last week, my partner and I went on a bit of a movie marathon over the weekend and it was great and it also was really interesting. Usually seeing one movie apart I don’t usually get to compare themes or acting ability or even really see if I like one genre more than the other. Once seen one and then maybe the next month or even the next week, I’ll forget how the previous one made me feel.

I am one of the people who just never listens to the critics, if I want to go and see the movie, I will go and see it. I would suggest that others do the same, never listen to the critics, if it’s something you’ve been wanting to see, go and see it. Let’s face it, unless the movie is some hard hitting, deep, meaningful plot…The critics are going to not like it. I don’t know how they stay in their jobs personally.

The two movies that I saw were Warcraft: The Beginning and Independence Day: Resurgence.

To begin, I realised how much I just love Fantasy films, they just hold my attention more than other genre’s of film. That’s not to say that I didn’t like Independence Day, I did, it was felt much more of a cliche of the original. I would suggest that you see it out on film, just so the enormity of the action and aliens are not wasted on a little screen.

Welcome and Wanted

One of the hardest things about being in a relationship (especially a new one) is trying to ‘decipher’ and decode your partners quirks and habits. It’s probably one of the biggest messages that I can say when you are single. You NEED to find out what makes you happy, what behaviour are you willing to put up with and you NEED to stick with it.

One of the hardest lessons that I’ve learnt throughout every single relationship, and in all honesty I mean friendships and family. The hardest thing in any relationship is to feel wanted. I can honestly say that every partner that I’ve had, they never wanted to be around me. They always seemed to prefer the company of their friends, even if they were bad-mouthing those friends (which should also be a clue). Even with my “friends” I have had friends who have dumped me for other people…Hence why “friends” are in quotation marks. I no longer consider them friends.

When you are single, you think there’s this whole world that you are missing out on. I was always good at being single personally. You have to figure you out, I cannot stress this one enough. My current relationship is tough for me because I have so many insecurities, I’ve had to deal with a lot on my own in the past. I am not used for asking for help, I am more used to being upset and crying it out on my own.

Before you get into a relationship do things on your own. Reconnect with yourself. The major reason I am doing alright now is because I know that I’m fine, my current partner is not my other ex-partners, he is a whole other human being and has never given me a reason to doubt him.

30 Days of Gratitude…Self Gratitude

Before I was going to write individually on each of these last few days what I was grateful for, but it’s been such a crazy week that I have decided to leave these last few days and write what I’m most grateful in one big go…So here I go…

Self Gratitude 

I have decided that I NEED to change my life. After months of going back and forth with my last ex, I realised I didn’t trust him any-more, especially not the way that I did once. I have to take my ownership in that. I don’t think that he was a bad person, but I needed to be more sensible in the choice that I was making. I needed to ask him hard questions before we started dating. Which started making me think about all of my past relationships and question why they have thought it was alright to treat me the way they did, when they don’t do it to anyone else? What made them look into the eyes of someone they were supposed to have loved and cared about and go “You’re going to get hurt by this and I don’t care”?

I have decided that I am too hard on myself. I trip myself up by worrying to much about how everyone else is feeling and doing and then I end up putting myself on the back burner. So then I don’t achieve all the things that I needed to, to get anywhere in this life. This includes family, friends, everything aspect of my life. Even if my family don’t think I cook, when I cook a lot (sorry I don’t put everything I make on Facebook *rolls eyes*) Doesn’t mean I have to stop cooking things I enjoy cooking.

I think that the hardest thing in this life is to be grateful for yourself. Its you who gets you through those tough days ultimately. Your mind, your body, your spirit. Its yourself who chooses to step up and take care of yourself.