Not Married, But Attached — Musings from a Tangled Mind

I know I’ve written many times before about the weird and wild world of online dating. I’ve written about the “stranger danger” Spidey sense that hits when you decide to meet a stranger in person for the first time. I’ve written about the unflattering photos of men way past their prime flaunting their topless torsos […]

via Not Married, But Attached — Musings from a Tangled Mind

Can I just begin this by saying that I feel really bad that I don’t pay much attention to this category. I created the “Single in a small city”category and then about a month later I met my now partner of roughly over two years. I always feel funny about writing being single in any form, when I’m not. However, I still love hearing about other people’s dating stories and I absolutely adore the tv show “First Dates” It’s hilarious! I think that I’ve only be right about one couple so far and I so happy for them that they were still dating after the show.

The above post is from Musings from a Tangled Mind and it’s really hilarious post, it is really great and shows what kind of odd balls there are still out there. Online dating seems to be the thing to do these days.

I met my current partner through online dating and it worked for me. I think it worked for me, I think though that it worked for me because I was “sensible” about it. I met him for the first time in a public place, I made sure I actually had an excuse to leave (if it was turning out to be horrible) and never gave out any personal information!

However, my current partner was not the first person that I met on a date from online dating, and I actually didn’t want to meet the guy. It was more at my mother’s instance. Always listen to your gut instincts! On the one and only date I went on with the other guy, it was really uncomfortable. I already didn’t want to meet him before the date. He insisted on paying for my dinner, but he kept saying how he did it. Then he insisted on dropping me off home, I was not about to let him know where I lived! Then when I convinced him to not drop me home, he left me outside by myself, on a dark street, while I waited for a taxi.

Online dating tips

It amazes and saddens me to constantly read in the news and on the television another life wasted after meeting up with someone through a “dating” site. It’s a serious issue as more and more people take the the web to find their future “somebodies”.

Unfortunately not everyone is on these dating sites to find a future somebody. Speaking from some  of the experiences I’ve been told a lot of stories of people who use genuine dating site as a hook up, instead of the sites created to be a hook up site.

So a couple of tips from someone who has actually found her possible future someone online and has also had some interesting stories that she could share with you!

  1. Do not go to anybodies house, meet out in a public place and in mutual territory…Especially on the first date!
  2. Meet up somewhere where you can get out of a uncomfortable situation, quickly.
  3. On the first few dates let someone you know well and trust, where and when you are going on this date.
  4. Make sure you have a way to get home. Do not let them take you home, no matter how earnestly they offer.
  5. If someone automatically wants to meet up at their house on the second date, chances are they are only in it for one reason. Be honest, let them know it makes you feel uncomfortable and if they don’t offer another public place, or just quit speaking with you. They were clearly in it for one reason.
  6. If you feel uncomfortable in any situation, whether you are on a date or just chatting online with them, listen to your gut and stop the situation.
  7. As I mentioned before don’t be surprised if someone is using a genuine dating site, rather than a hookup site, to, infact, hook up.

Can you think of any other tips you would give to someone using an online dating site for the first time? Especially advice and hints to keep themselves safe?

“The Talk”

So last night I went out a date with the “guy”…(I really should give him a nickname…Sir, I’ll call him “Sir” He is a Sir =D). We’ve pretty much just been going out, but not hanging out if that makes sense. So I brought it up if he minded us going slowly. I think sometimes I forget (and others too) that only a couple of days before I decided to try out the online dating scenes I got into the last major fight with my ex.

I probably should have given myself more time, but I didn’t expect to actually meet someone. At the same time though, I have not a single doubt that that is the reason I need to take things slowly. I can feel in my heart that it’s very broken and it feels like trying to stick steel back together again. But it sticking back together, not exactly as it was of course, but it is.

Anyways we had “the talk” last night and I walked away very happy from it. I think he actually really listened to why I needed to take things slowly and he is actually in the same boat as me. I don’t know if he had a fight with his ex two days before he went on the online dating site, but he’s tired of being hurt too. So we are actually both wanting to take it slowly. It was such a good conversation and I am so glad that I brought it up, he really listens to me.

I am really glad that I’ve met him =)

Online Dating Update

Thought that I would give a little update to my online dating experiences (and hopefully give you something fun to read on this Sunday night).

Guy Number one:

I shall call him number one because it seems to be going really well with him. The first date we couldn’t stop talking to each other and I knew that I liked him when we got home late and I needed to get up early the next day and so I kind of ran out of the car, but then, in true girl like fashion, I realised he hadn’t kissed me…and I wanted him to and woke up the next morning with regrets =/

Guy Number two:

This one is going nowhere. Guys there are only a certain type of girl that will like the needy “tell me everything and who you are talking to” guy…I am not one of those. I had to finally reject him and let him know that I was not interested. There was nothing “bad” about him, he is just not the type for me.

Advice:

My biggest advice is to meet anyone you meet online in public, do NOT meet in them in private. Do not let them pick you up or drop you off on the first date (possibly the second too if you’re unsure). Do pay attention to what they are saying, guy number two (for example) starting asking me pretty nearly straight away who else I was talking to. Although I am not very experienced in online dating, I felt uncomfortable about him asking me. DO listen to your gut instincts. Once I had turned him down I have now spent the past three days (I am not kidding) trying to explain to him I am just not interested. It really feels like I’ve broken up with him, rather than just letting him down.

Mind Flip

So I am going my first date with a second guy that I met on the online dating site and I have already set-up a second date with the first guy I met online. I’m a little worried because I still like the first guy that I met on the online dating and he was actually the reason that I joined the site in the first place.

I have never really had to reject someone where there has been the promise of dating before. I’ve had to reject people I’ve known for a while, but not someone I haven’t known for a while. I mean the second guy seems alright, but I am just not clicking with him and I do not want to lead him on. Oh the confusion of dating!

datingmeme

The other thing that I have been finding really interesting though is my total and utter mind flip on my ex, it’s been amazing! There is that saying though “Hindsight and 20/20” and they are cliches for a reason I guess! It just feels like my mind has done a huge 360. I really don’t care…Finding out certain things and really sitting down to think about it, I don’t think my ex cared about me at all!

Not in a vicious way, I just don’t really think that he ever really got to know the real me. He has no idea who I really am. Plus I think when you really can’t tell who a person is and who they genuinely like as a human being, there is no way that that is a good sign!

Feeling Good!

Take 2!

So this week I am finally going to meet the two “contenders” that I’ve met on the online dating site. I am actually pretty excited, I think I already like one of them better than the other. It’s so weird! At the beginning of December I posted a picture onto Facebook that said “There is still one chapter to 2014, make it a great one!” It seems to be happening =D I was just hired in a new job and now I think that I’ve actually met someone.

I never expected any of this time and in all honest it’s been making everything else this year that’s happened to me look like, not a waste of time, but it really doesn’t matter any-more. I don’t care about my ex anymore, I rarely think of him at all. It’s so interesting because I thought that it’d take me forever to get over him, but it’s been so quick!

I want to be scared, but I’m not. I am really happy. Just when I had given up on this year, this all happens! It is so exciting!

I know that I’ve posted this video a lot this year, but it’s for a good reason!

Published on 8 Jan 2014

Get Pharrell’s album G I R L on iTunes: http://smarturl.it/GIRLitunes
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I didn’t expect this…

I’ve only been on the online dating site for a couple of days and I already have two guys that I’m interested in and they seem interested in me too…

In the moments though when I am not talking to them and those silent few minutes before I asleep. I am suddenly reminded of the heartbreak that I have only recently endured and it comes all flooding back to me and then I am paralysed again by fear and I just want to go back to the beginning of the year and start all over again.

I don’t want to feel like this any-more, I want to be happy, I don’t want to be sad. It is easy to forgive, it’s hard to forget. I wish that there was someone who could just give me one big hug and tell me that it was all going to be okay and for once be able to believe it myself.

Online Dating

So I did it…Last night I joined an online dating site.

So far it’s been a nervous wrecking process and I have absolutely no idea what I’m suppose to do.  I’ve got quiet a few responses and just a little while ago the guy who I was initially interested in and the reason why I joined the site in the first place, said he was interested in talking to me! The funny thing was I had been waiting and waiting to hear from him and I knew that he was constantly looking at my profile, but he wasn’t saying anything!

I haven’t tried online dating for many years and it assumes me greatly that it feels exactly the same as if I was at a party. You know that feeling…There is that one person whose eye catches your fancies, but the entire night it’s every other person whose actually coming up and talking to you, and you and the person you are actually interested in, just make eye contact and then they’re gone.

It’s also quiet an intimidating process. In my past when I’ve rejected a guy they haven’t always responded well, so I really life in fear of having to reject anyone. Luckily with this particular site though (as a friend whose used this site told me) if you do reject them, they make it so they can’t contact you again, to stop them hassling you I guess.

Now if you excuse me I have to think of some funny and witty reply to reply to his guy with…Ah, the pressure!

 

Saturday Night

SO it’s a Saturday Night here and it’s all warm and uncomfortable “Down Under”. Been trying to think of what to do, since I have the house to myself tonight.

The reason I am writing this Blog is because thinking of what has happened this week, I’ve never felt more alone and felt more like I wish that I had at least one person who lived in my country, actually would talk to me about my problems and someone I could actually rely on. Then I started to feel really down about myself.

Then I thought to myself, I shouldn’t feel sad! There is so much that I can be grateful about and SO WHAT if I’m not going out this weekend. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that, I even looked up some online dating sites. I’ve made a promise to myself. If I don’t meet someone between now and the New Years. As soon as the New Year happens I will be registering onto one of those dating sites. I’ve already seen one or two guys I actually liked the look of.

Here are some rules for surviving a single night by yourself:

  1. Do NOT watch videos, listen to songs and watch tv shows that say how horrible being single is.
  2. Buy yourself that food you can eat when no one else is around
  3. Drink all the bad things, but do not get drunk!
  4. Dress in the most comfortable clothing you own.
  5. Dance like no one is watching and turn that music up LOUD!
  6. Stay OFF of Facebook
  7. Turn off your phone (or at least keep it on vibrate).

I promise you, you follow those steps and you will have a very successful single night in =D In fact you may never want to go out ever again!

Uploaded on 24 Oct 2009

Cyndi Lauper – Girls Just Want To Have Fun (Official Video)

Music video by Cyndi Lauper performing Girls Just Want To Have Fun. (C) 1983 Sony BMG Music Entertainment