I have done something that is really frightening to me, but at the same time, is rather exciting and I don’t even know what if it’s going to happen…Or what I even have to offer!
At my work place it has slowed right down, right down that, at the moment, we are not even getting one day a week. So I am trying to find something else at the moment. One of things that I have fallen back too is volunteering in the area of work that I REALLY want to work in…Library work.
When I have gotten myself into though, I AM so nervous and haven’t done nothing like this before. They don’t have any room for library Volunteers, but they were thinking of making a gardening, technology and writing club…I said that I’d be interested in the Writing Club and now I don’t know why!
What do I know about writing?
I mean, I write this Blog…But I am not an expert by any means! I don’t even know if it’s really going to happen…At the same time though, I REALLY want to do it as well!. It excites me as well, but what do I know about any of this?
Where do I go? Is there a site I could too? Is this a sign that I should be writing more?! Start actually “publishing” and really working on the stories that I write?
Today is a kind of a new day for me. It terms of my job, I am going to be doing the exact same job, but just in a different location for at least the next month, with more hours and I am feeling just as anxious, as if I was starting a new job. That’s the problem with a new location, I don’t know the layout of the building, even though they have a great map. I still don’t know where everything is. So it’s a little scary, I’m sure that it’ll be fine…Just those “first day” nerves.
A week or so ago I made a post called “Nervouness” and it was about a job that I was going for. A job I really wanted and I really felt that I was going to get it, I nailed it. However in a little town, the ones who are already in a job in a Library, tend to get any job they go for. Which is what happened in this situation. Even though I was constantly told I would fit in so well. I’ve had a good cry about it, but I’m tired and I feel kind of stuck. I want my life to start and it’s kind of hard when you have a job that doesn’t guarantee hours. I had no work the last two months before Christmas. Luckily I’m a good saver and I start getting Christmas presents earlier. I just do not want to be in that position anymore.
I feel kind of stuck though, I want to try and maybe do something that you can do from home, but I have NO idea what to do. There are things that I could have a go at, but I can’t do too many of them cause, you know, money. It’s another reason I’m so appreciative of my Mum and my partner. I help out where I can, but I wish I could do more! I want my life to start and be able to start comfortably. My Gran wants me to keep up with my writing and I have recently restarted doing that again. I hadn’t had a good writing session in a year and it was GLORIOUS! I have a couple of fictional stories on the go, doubt I’ll ever get them published, but never say never!
Can you tell how stuck I am feeling? What have you done, readers, when you just feel like you can’t do anything, but you just have too? You don’t just want to sit around anymore?
I had a job interview today for a job that I really want. Getting a Library job around here is SO tough. Once people are in one, they tend to stay in Libraries for life. So to get any foot in, can take years…Literally years…It’s taken me over a year just to get this interview! I have Certificates and all sorts of things, I was volunteering, but I had to stop because it clashed with my paid work too much.
One of the other horrible things about living in a small town, dreams jobs are hard to come by. I have considered doing something else on the side, but what do you do?!
Last night I hung out with the number one guy (I don’t even talk to the number two guy…Craaaaaaazy!). At his house…all by ourselves…except for his cat (who loved me, hehe).
I forgot how nervous I get that first time around, nothing happened, except some cuddling up and watching truly terrible movies. I always find on that first time if I truly like them, if I don’t want to slap them while we’re cuddling, that is a good sign! Haha!
I know that I want to move slowly in this relationships, sometimes I do worry that I am going to slowly, but how do you keep bringing that topic up? I mean he seems perfectly alright with everything at the moment as is, but I don’t want to get to that point where I feel like I’m leading him on. Plus when I’m stressed out in a job, I never feel in a romantic mood any-ways….Ah, these stupid feelings!
Tonight is the Night!
Tonight is my first girls night out since my break up and I am ready for it! The break was what…Month and a half? Two weeks since we stopped being friends and I need a cute guy (or two) to get a bit flirty with, not dirty with…Just flirty. I might even have a glass of champagne first before I head out…Crazy! I’m a bit of “light weight” so I don’t drink when I go out and it’s not at a friends house…or mine own!lol
In all honesty I am really nervous about this night. You see, I had this really odd plan on staying with my ex for the rest of my life, definitely the rest of this year…at least. There is just something different about “A Girls Night out” that just feels automatically different from going out with a mixed sex group of people. There’s is honestly no one else I want to be on the planet with than my ex, but a girl has to move on and although I don’t expect to find the love of my night tonight. I do want to get a little flirty, not flirty dirty, just flirty =D…I’m not ready for dirty yet ~.^
Uploaded on 8 Oct 2009
Music video by Shania Twain performing Man! I Feel Like A Woman. (C) 2003 Mercury Records