Where has the girl power gone?

I call myself “Eternally Single”. I call myself this because being 30 years old I have spent most of that single. Once I’m in a relationship I am committed but when I’m single, I am single. I have done the casual sex thing and I have learnt both good and bad from that. At this moment I have no interest in that, so I will not participate in it.

However this year I have been shocked by the amount of women in my life who have been in really bad relationships. Not just bad relationships, but they were bad right from the start.  I have been shocked because these are women I admire and completely respect. They are intelligent, smart and motivated women. Who have travelled the world, found jobs they love, (some) have had children. I wont lie when I say that this women have made me feel “dumb” not through any put downs or the like from themselves. I would be struggling (thanks to my dyslexia) and getting an average of a C and they would be getting double A’s.

These women have been shocking me all year…These intelligent, beautiful, loving hearted and strong women are letting themselves be treated horribly…by a guy…and not really extraordinary guys either. Even if they were extraordinary guys it wouldn’t be acceptable.

I have one girlfriend who is actually considering going against everything that she hates and despises just so her boyfriend can sleep around more aka open relationship. Apparently because she’s been cheated on once or twice that should prove she should just be ‘used’ to be cheated on? WTactualF! She’s already said “No” several times, but he wont let it go. Another woman my grandmothers age and I woman I highly admired, sent a group email to upset a male friend of hers, so he would get in contact with her…My Grandmothers age! Then this very close family member of mine has recently told us what happened to her and how badly her now ex-husband treated her…I have no idea how they got married!

I’m sitting here feeling like a failure because I don’t have a man and I’m 30 years old…But I tell you what I’d rather be single than living with this every day of my life! These women I love and admire might as well be single!

Uploaded by PrettyExclusiveTV’s channel on 8 Jul 2012

Here is a clip from their movie “One Hour of Girl Power” where they give their own definition of what Girl Power really means.

Super Girlfriend Mode…

on-off

So this weekend is a big test for me! It’s the first “supportive” thing I will be doing as my new ‘beau’s’ partner. I am nervous for a few various reasons:

  • Posisbly will meet some members of his Family
  • Will be meeting his friends for the first time.
  • Will be in the same room as the friends who I do not like (and they don’t like me) and who I have not seen for a couple of months.

It’s a long story (as they always are) there are so many reason to feel uncomfortable and my mind is screaming “Don’t Go!!! Don’t do it!!!”.  No! Super Girlfriend Mode is on and I will be dragging (and a couple of other friends) myself out. I think it’s one of the main things I will miss about being single, if I don’t want to go somewhere…I don’t have too. I could avoid meeting people for the first time for the rest of my life! I don’t owe anyone an explanation as to why I wouldn’t want to go somewhere, I just wouldn’t go.

Hang onto your single life people!!!

(*Edit….

Will be meeting his parents (at least)
Will be surrounded by his friends who apparently dislike me (but no one, including them, will tell me why)
All the people who were suppose to be coming with me, have now pulled out.)

If I can get through tonight’s social situations, I can get through anything!

Odd one out…

Last night my best friend came in from Interstate. I have about three female best friends and ironically I could probably pick a “Sex in the City” character for each one of us (I would be the Charlotte in the group…but probably more after being influenced by Samantha). The interesting thing about my little groups of girlfriend is…I am the only single one.

Last night was fun and we talked and giggled a lot, but it was hard to hear about the problems they were having, especially when their guys are completely nuts about them. They are mostly things that they knew could be an issue later. I think that’s the hardest thing about being single, especially when you are the only one, is listening to how bad a friends relationships is, when it really isn’t and that they knew this issue would be coming up later.

I would LOVE a man who was devoted to me, who had my back, who talked to me, who tried to cheer me up when I am down. I have always had the opposite in my life. I have always had the guy who never had my back, including watching me get bullied mentally and physically by his roommate, the one who’d rather play a computer game then take care of me the night my grandfather dies, would rather spend Valentine’s Day with his friends than me.

I don’t get into relationships a lot, in fact, after 30 years I have only been in three relationships. My main problem is once I find that guy, I jump right in, and instead of letting it build up slowly and making sure that I am not falling for a façade. Except if I knew about a major issue, like children, marriage, career plans are likely to become an issue later I would never get into that relationship. I seem to find a lot that I am the only one like that. A lot of girls will get into a relationship to be in a relationship and that’s when the problems start.

True, I have nights where I feel so alone that I hold onto that pillow like I never have before…but I also know that one of the worst feelings in this world is feeling completely alone while you have someone lying right next to you.

Am I the only one who might WANT a relationship, but don’t feel like I NEED one? Am I the only odd one out…I would rather be alone, than feel alone.