I miss…

So I thought that I would write about what I miss now. When I wrote my other blog called”So far, I’ve enjoyed 2020” It did actually make me think about the things I miss now too. Not necessarily “sad” things. Just things and bit that I’ve noticed don’t seem to be around as much anymore. See if you agree, and/or add your own too!

You know what’s funny? I started to write this, before the weekend that’s just past. I just want to say that I kind of miss…to be honest…Everything.

The year started off so well, and then it just kind of went downhill…Well, for myself and my family anyway. I was just talking to my mum about it last night.

The year started off:

  • Mum and her sister had booked tickets to go overseas and see family in UK.
  • My Grans big 80th, with her baby brother coming over.
  • My partner bought a new house.
  • My dog seemed better than ever.

How the year is going now:

  • Coronavirus, so far, travel hasn’t been banned to the UK.
  • My grans mental facilities is going down hill. Her brother who hasn’t seen her in about 5-10 years could tell on the first day. She keeps inviting people to her birthday.
  • My partners house is actually going well. It’s about the only thing. However, my partner is currently renting and they landlord and real estate agent hasn’t brought anyone through. Not that that will be our problem, but the landlords a nice guy. There’s only two weekends left, till we leave.
  • My dog died >.<
  • The cat got anal swollen glands. I even made a joke the night that Pippy passed, before I left, Travie had just gotten over his swollen his anal glands. I said “If it’s not one, it’s the other”…Now there’s only one =(
  • I’ve pretty much lost my job, although they have asked me to work on Friday…Which I don’t know if that’s a good day to work after not working for about three weeks…Friday the 13th!

Let alone all the politics and people in general. Honestly, at this point, if I won the lotto. I’m not sure how happy I’d be. All the important things are missing.

 

It’s

Flowers

(Although, as someone pointed out to me, that people who are looking for their natural parents. May not agree with this…You get the general idea though =P…This random thought came about when someone asked me if I missed my ex-friends and I explained why I didn’t…Realising they hadn’t really ever been there for me, pretty much ever. It’s not hard to miss someone who was never there for you to being with!)

California Fires…continue…

This has been a rough year for wildfires here in Southern California and throughout much of the western United States. A few weeks ago, the Border Fire destroyed over 7,600 acres in southeast San Diego County. Fires can be devastating for both people and their pets. While it’s always important to have a disaster preparedness […]

via Pets and Wildfires: One Cat’s Survival Story — FACE Foundation

Goodbye too you…

I realised the other day you can’t miss someone if they never brought anything to your life. I keep waiting for the moment where I feel sad and cry but it doesn’t seem to be happening…That’s fine.

It’s alright…It really is…

When you realise someone never really brought anything to your life, it’s then that you start to let them go.

It’s okay not to be sad, it’s okay to realise someone you cared about was not a very nice person. It’s alright to not miss them at all. It doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you, it doesn’t mean you are emotionless or heartless. They were just, as my Gran would say, “not part of your tribe”.

Episode 2 Ok GIF by Broad City - Find & Share on GIPHY

I’m just going to add another link here, that is not in the video below:

Anxiety Disorders: National Portal of India

This will also be the last time I mention my ex-friends. I think I’ve been in shock. I will let you know as well, this Vlog goes on for a while. Be Prepared!

 

Share Your World…Week 3

Share Your World

Share Your World … June 19, 2017

What is something that people are obsessed with but you just don’t get the point of?

Complete strangers opinions and lets’ be honest for some people it obviously affects them badly and then spend all this time trying to prove how it hasn’t affected them. I’ve always felt like if something really doesn’t affect you, you don’t spend a lot of time on it. It’s okay to be upset by these things, people are cruel, especially strangers who it doesn’t affect. Pretending it hadn’t, doesn’t help either. You take it on and don’t do anything about it, it’ll get worse.

What quirky things do people do where you are from?

We make up words and for quiet a few years there all of us “kids” thought that the words the adults in our family were talking about, were real words. For example we say “Parple” which basically means “Fart”. I personally say szchikabab instead of “Shit”,lol.

What are some things you wish you could unlearn? 

In regards, to one of the above questions. I have learnt how cruel people can be, I wish I could unlearn and still have that naivety that people have some sort of good in them.

Who is someone that you miss having in your life?

The first person that popped into my mind was my Great Grand Father and also my Great Grand Mother, but I never got to meet her. I’m sure a lot of people would agree with me too! My Great Grand Mother was apparently very kind and not much seemed to bother her. She had polio and lost half of her leg because of it, but when people first saw her after the operation they didn’t even notice. My Great Grandfather definitely had an Irish temper, but he generally sweet to his family, especially to me =D hehe. They were also both WAY ahead of their time. We found my Great Grandfather “scriblings” and he was so smart! He wrote things about religion and do we really need it now, he was learning Greek at just over 80’s year old because he wanted to go to Greece and see all the ancient sites, before he unfortunately had a heart attack.

Evidence

I don’t think that I have too many Australian readers on here, but for those who are and for those who are not. One of Australia’s most famous “cold cases” in Australia is the “Beaumont Children“. Breaking it down a little, at Glenelg Beach (which is a gorgeous beach) Australia Day in 1966, three siblings went missing Jane Nartare Beaumont (born 10 September 1956), Arnna Kathleen Beaumont (born 11 November 1958), and Grant Ellis Beaumont (born 12 July 1961).

Their bodies have never been found. It was probably “that” case that changed a lot of things in Australia. Adults felt less safe too let their children go anywhere by themselves (the Beaumont children had gone to the beach on their own). Over the years there have been leads and the case is continually brought up over and over again.

So once again it has made it into the spotlight again, but it seems like it could be something that actually opens the case wide open, if it can be verified….Watch this space for more…

Boy’s diary places convicted pedophile near where Beaumont children disappeared. – 9 News web story (June 8th 2017)

Be your own best friend

These last couple of years have been pretty rough on me, friendship wise. I’ve lost a lot of friends, friendships have changed and I’m came to the conclusion this weekend, that I don’t really have a “best friend”. I thought I did…But I really don’t think I do. I have good friends and close friends and fun friends. I don’t think that I’ve ever really had a “best friend” though.  A couple of years ago the best friends I thought I had completely changed (you can read the start of my changes here from a year ago).

Too break it down, one of my best friends got into an abusive relationship and it was on and off and I got sick of it. I stood up and instead of telling, well if they love each other they should work it out, I told to her to leave. I got hated on for it and that’s when it began. One of my “best friends” started to “accidentally” leave me out of ‘best friend and sister’ posts on Facebook, and then got all upset with me when I told her off. Then the actual girl told me we had grown apart because I was single, she didn’t want to tell me all the good stuff in case I got jealous. When she’s single, she gets jealous of happy couples. Except I have never been like that, shouldn’t my “best friend” of half my life know that? What kind of friend does she think I am anyways, that I’d rather hear about her getting abused, then happy things? Then every time she’s come out here, she seems to see only one of our best friends, out of our “best friend” group. In fact, she has seen one of our best friends partners one on one, more than me.

I think the thing that worries me most, is that I’m not even sad about it. It’s just feels like one less responsibility and less person you owe something too, or in this case three people. Have I become so cynical and heartless? As I have been slowly taking myself out. It’s been kind of nice too to take myself out of these groups, nice and slowly. As every time something happens and I am hanging out with them, all I can think “Why does nothing change” and also “How stupid are these people?”.

Not being ‘stuck’ in a group has also meant I have had more time to get out there and discover things I am interested in and meet new people. These included having more time to write a Blog, or the stories I am currently working on. I also go for longer walks with my dog. I can go off and explore things around the neighbourhood when I want, I have more time for crafting stuff. I don’t know if it is also because I have a good boyfriend who I can muck about it and he has been a better friend than they have. Maybe that’s also why it’s been so easy?

I feel like I get do things that I want to do, I can go to places I want too, eat at places I want to, shop where I want too and not feel like I’m being dragged along, or dragging someone else along too.

Sorry, I think that this post is a bit all over the place.

Are any of you in the same situation though? Do you feel like without those people in your life, you are actually alright as well? Do you feel like you should be missing them, but you are hey okay without them?

Blog Block! Part 3 million, gazillion!

Basically nearly every single Sunday evening, I actually sit down to write a post for my “Magical Monday” posting. However, I have just come up with nothing. I haven’t really been reading anything lately and I haven’t seen any films. I’ve been sick the last few weeks, so I’ve been trying to concentrate on getting better.

I seem to be having a lot of these problems over the last few months. Take this past post for example. Blog Block 2.

Apart from being sick and just not really feeling very motivated of something magical tow rite about. There was some good magical miracle type news that progressed over this last week. Mainly to do with the live safari that I watch. There is one pride called the “Nkuhuma Pride” that I have probably mentioned a few times over my Blog.

They have all together 8 cub between the 5 lionesses. Two mothers have at least 4 cubs between them, only a couple of weeks apart. So we were completely at a lost when one of the older and one of the younger cubs went off to get a drink and just never seemed to returned. We didn’t count them out though! Lions are amazing trackers and stalkers, with a great sense of smell. When they disappeared, they had full bellies.

Nearly 3 days later… We had a miracle and I do say Miracle because the African bush is no easy thing to manage, especially when you are so tiny and little! Looking a little worse for wear, but very happy!

This or That #45

this-or-that

This or That #45

Many of you probably won’t enjoy this question very much but…..which is worse:

Having some of the middle chapters of a novel missing

OR

Missing the first and last chapters

I think having the first and last chapters missing, especially the last chapter would be horrible! Never knowing what the ending was, I love Agatha Christie and you never find out who the killer is until the very end and they always explain how they killed the person and that’s my favourite part of the whole book.

Please remember to check out Bookmark Chronicles

Yet, always there is hope…

Dear You,

I need to write this to you, but I can never show you, I can never open my heart up to you again. In the rest of my days, you can never actually know this.

It’s weird this feeling that I have. I hate you, I don’t trust you and now you have made me feel unsafe and unwanted. Yet at the same time, I am completely, madly in love with you still. Isn’t that weird? I know that I can’t ever be with you and with the attitude that you have seemed to develop over night I don’t want to, but yet here I am. Flirting, chatting with other guys and opening my heart to them, but still in love with you?

Yet, if anyone were to tell me that I have no self respect for myself, I know that they’re in the wrong. I don’t want you back, ever again. Not in a millions years would I ever, and sometimes I think it’s because I miss who I thought you were, not who you turned out to be.

You were the first person that I could really see myself settling down with, getting married, having babies, doing the whole grown up thing. I get scared sometimes that now I am far too damaged to feel like that again, yet there is hope. I can hear her calling in the back of my mind “Don’t give up!”