Blog Block! Part 3 million, gazillion!

Basically nearly every single Sunday evening, I actually sit down to write a post for my “Magical Monday” posting. However, I have just come up with nothing. I haven’t really been reading anything lately and I haven’t seen any films. I’ve been sick the last few weeks, so I’ve been trying to concentrate on getting better.

I seem to be having a lot of these problems over the last few months. Take this past post for example. Blog Block 2.

Apart from being sick and just not really feeling very motivated of something magical tow rite about. There was some good magical miracle type news that progressed over this last week. Mainly to do with the live safari that I watch. There is one pride called the “Nkuhuma Pride” that I have probably mentioned a few times over my Blog.

They have all together 8 cub between the 5 lionesses. Two mothers have at least 4 cubs between them, only a couple of weeks apart. So we were completely at a lost when one of the older and one of the younger cubs went off to get a drink and just never seemed to returned. We didn’t count them out though! Lions are amazing trackers and stalkers, with a great sense of smell. When they disappeared, they had full bellies.

Nearly 3 days later… We had a miracle and I do say Miracle because the African bush is no easy thing to manage, especially when you are so tiny and little! Looking a little worse for wear, but very happy!

Yet, always there is hope…

Dear You,

I need to write this to you, but I can never show you, I can never open my heart up to you again. In the rest of my days, you can never actually know this.

It’s weird this feeling that I have. I hate you, I don’t trust you and now you have made me feel unsafe and unwanted. Yet at the same time, I am completely, madly in love with you still. Isn’t that weird? I know that I can’t ever be with you and with the attitude that you have seemed to develop over night I don’t want to, but yet here I am. Flirting, chatting with other guys and opening my heart to them, but still in love with you?

Yet, if anyone were to tell me that I have no self respect for myself, I know that they’re in the wrong. I don’t want you back, ever again. Not in a millions years would I ever, and sometimes I think it’s because I miss who I thought you were, not who you turned out to be.

You were the first person that I could really see myself settling down with, getting married, having babies, doing the whole grown up thing. I get scared sometimes that now I am far too damaged to feel like that again, yet there is hope. I can hear her calling in the back of my mind “Don’t give up!”