I’m missing you

This isn’t necessarily about a person or passed on animal/pet baby.

Over the last couple of years, things that I didn’t even realise people were about. Haven’t just proven they are about, but also, go the horrible extreme, of making me want to literally throw up.

I started to think about this, when a couple of people I’m friends with, had to end friendships over the Depp thing. Because it wasn’t just that they took Depp’s side, it was more that they admitted to knowing Depp IS an abuser, but they thought Heard deserved it. And I have people in my life, who I think, because of their attitudes over the last couple of years. I don’t trust, that that’s exactly what they’re thinking too.

It’s pretty disturbing.

I think of the fact that I’ve “lost” family members over their transphobia and Toryism.

I think of the facts, that people/family I used to have fun with and had huge respect for. I don’t trust them anymore. Not with their COVID misinformation. Not with their not believing the mental health of Meghan Markle.

I miss things like: kindness, respect, common sense … and honestly … people just thinking, instead of reacting. I miss people understanding the difference between an opinion and a fact.

And I would blame social media, but they’re all adults. With people like me (haha) in their family.


30 Day writing challenge … Day 16

16.Write about something that you miss

I think it goes without saying that I miss my Pippy the most.

2015-09-14 19.01.58

I mean, look at that face. I can’t tell whether or not she was thinking “There, there” or “there, there…shut up and love me”lol…When I got really down then other day, I was having a shower, thinking it might make me feel better. I couldn’t stop crying about how miss I miss the Pee-pee. See, she did not like the horrible side of my family, she was constantly barking and growling at them. Even when she got older and calmed a little, she did not trust them.

It made me feel like she was on my side. She’s one of the very sentient beings on this planet, that I 100% felt was on my side. And I trust animals, better than I trust humans.

Animals, our pets, just have this way of making us feel unconditionally loved. I really feel like I’m missing that right now. Pippy died at the most horrible time, really. She could have waited a few more months,lol. I miss just being able to hug her and lay down with her. Just to simply lie and do nothing else, you know what I mean? Cats aren’t really into that and my partner, only likes doing it when he wants something. You know what I mean by that too,lol.

I miss…

So I thought that I would write about what I miss now. When I wrote my other blog called”So far, I’ve enjoyed 2020” It did actually make me think about the things I miss now too. Not necessarily “sad” things. Just things and bit that I’ve noticed don’t seem to be around as much anymore. See if you agree, and/or add your own too!

You know what’s funny? I started to write this, before the weekend that’s just past. I just want to say that I kind of miss…to be honest…Everything.

The year started off so well, and then it just kind of went downhill…Well, for myself and my family anyway. I was just talking to my mum about it last night.

The year started off:

  • Mum and her sister had booked tickets to go overseas and see family in UK.
  • My Grans big 80th, with her baby brother coming over.
  • My partner bought a new house.
  • My dog seemed better than ever.

How the year is going now:

  • Coronavirus, so far, travel hasn’t been banned to the UK.
  • My grans mental facilities is going down hill. Her brother who hasn’t seen her in about 5-10 years could tell on the first day. She keeps inviting people to her birthday.
  • My partners house is actually going well. It’s about the only thing. However, my partner is currently renting and they landlord and real estate agent hasn’t brought anyone through. Not that that will be our problem, but the landlords a nice guy. There’s only two weekends left, till we leave.
  • My dog died >.<
  • The cat got anal swollen glands. I even made a joke the night that Pippy passed, before I left, Travie had just gotten over his swollen his anal glands. I said “If it’s not one, it’s the other”…Now there’s only one =(
  • I’ve pretty much lost my job, although they have asked me to work on Friday…Which I don’t know if that’s a good day to work after not working for about three weeks…Friday the 13th!

Let alone all the politics and people in general. Honestly, at this point, if I won the lotto. I’m not sure how happy I’d be. All the important things are missing.




(Although, as someone pointed out to me, that people who are looking for their natural parents. May not agree with this…You get the general idea though =P…This random thought came about when someone asked me if I missed my ex-friends and I explained why I didn’t…Realising they hadn’t really ever been there for me, pretty much ever. It’s not hard to miss someone who was never there for you to being with!)

Goodbye too you…

I realised the other day you can’t miss someone if they never brought anything to your life. I keep waiting for the moment where I feel sad and cry but it doesn’t seem to be happening…That’s fine.

It’s alright…It really is…

When you realise someone never really brought anything to your life, it’s then that you start to let them go.

It’s okay not to be sad, it’s okay to realise someone you cared about was not a very nice person. It’s alright to not miss them at all. It doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you, it doesn’t mean you are emotionless or heartless. They were just, as my Gran would say, “not part of your tribe”.

Episode 2 Ok GIF by Broad City - Find & Share on GIPHY

I’m just going to add another link here, that is not in the video below:

Anxiety Disorders: National Portal of India

This will also be the last time I mention my ex-friends. I think I’ve been in shock. I will let you know as well, this Vlog goes on for a while. Be Prepared!


Share Your World…Week 3

Share Your World

Share Your World … June 19, 2017

What is something that people are obsessed with but you just don’t get the point of?

Complete strangers opinions and lets’ be honest for some people it obviously affects them badly and then spend all this time trying to prove how it hasn’t affected them. I’ve always felt like if something really doesn’t affect you, you don’t spend a lot of time on it. It’s okay to be upset by these things, people are cruel, especially strangers who it doesn’t affect. Pretending it hadn’t, doesn’t help either. You take it on and don’t do anything about it, it’ll get worse.

What quirky things do people do where you are from?

We make up words and for quiet a few years there all of us “kids” thought that the words the adults in our family were talking about, were real words. For example we say “Parple” which basically means “Fart”. I personally say szchikabab instead of “Shit”,lol.

What are some things you wish you could unlearn? 

In regards, to one of the above questions. I have learnt how cruel people can be, I wish I could unlearn and still have that naivety that people have some sort of good in them.

Who is someone that you miss having in your life?

The first person that popped into my mind was my Great Grand Father and also my Great Grand Mother, but I never got to meet her. I’m sure a lot of people would agree with me too! My Great Grand Mother was apparently very kind and not much seemed to bother her. She had polio and lost half of her leg because of it, but when people first saw her after the operation they didn’t even notice. My Great Grandfather definitely had an Irish temper, but he generally sweet to his family, especially to me =D hehe. They were also both WAY ahead of their time. We found my Great Grandfather “scriblings” and he was so smart! He wrote things about religion and do we really need it now, he was learning Greek at just over 80’s year old because he wanted to go to Greece and see all the ancient sites, before he unfortunately had a heart attack.

Blog Block! Part 3 million, gazillion!

Basically nearly every single Sunday evening, I actually sit down to write a post for my “Magical Monday” posting. However, I have just come up with nothing. I haven’t really been reading anything lately and I haven’t seen any films. I’ve been sick the last few weeks, so I’ve been trying to concentrate on getting better.

I seem to be having a lot of these problems over the last few months. Take this past post for example. Blog Block 2.

Apart from being sick and just not really feeling very motivated of something magical tow rite about. There was some good magical miracle type news that progressed over this last week. Mainly to do with the live safari that I watch. There is one pride called the “Nkuhuma Pride” that I have probably mentioned a few times over my Blog.

They have all together 8 cub between the 5 lionesses. Two mothers have at least 4 cubs between them, only a couple of weeks apart. So we were completely at a lost when one of the older and one of the younger cubs went off to get a drink and just never seemed to returned. We didn’t count them out though! Lions are amazing trackers and stalkers, with a great sense of smell. When they disappeared, they had full bellies.

Nearly 3 days later… We had a miracle and I do say Miracle because the African bush is no easy thing to manage, especially when you are so tiny and little! Looking a little worse for wear, but very happy!

This or That #45


This or That #45

Many of you probably won’t enjoy this question very much but…..which is worse:

Having some of the middle chapters of a novel missing


Missing the first and last chapters

I think having the first and last chapters missing, especially the last chapter would be horrible! Never knowing what the ending was, I love Agatha Christie and you never find out who the killer is until the very end and they always explain how they killed the person and that’s my favourite part of the whole book.

Please remember to check out Bookmark Chronicles

Random Thoughts…

I am at a school and I am in a prime spot in the Library to watch all the cars and people outside go by and since here it’s the beginning of Spring, you can probably guess that I am not actually doing any of the school work that I came in too do. Instead here I am, thinking about you…

I can’t help it I let my mind drift off and think about you and what you might be doing right now. It’s such a gorgeous day and I’m sitting here wondering if you’ve finished work yet, are you even at work, or are you wrapped up lying on some grass having a picnic somewhere with some another girl. I can’t forgive for how you’ve treated me after everything, but I can’t stop thinking about you either. About everything that could and probably would have been…and how we would have never have wasted a day like today.

I don’t want you back and yet I miss so incredibly much that it still saddens my every waking moment and although the nightmares have seemed to have stopped. I still have that 5 minutes before I fall asleep where I still think of you and everything that we could have been. I miss you with every beat of my heart and yet there’s just no way that I could tell you or let you back into my life.

I look really pretty today, I can tell by the way the guys are staring at me, but I hate it when they do it…Don’t they know I’m yours? Oh wait…No, I’m not. Well the sun seems to be going down and it’s getting darker, so I guess that I should thinking about you and my thoughts become as dark as the evening that is coming.

I miss you ❤