Letting it Go

Have you ever gotten to a point in your life, where you are just tired of it all? You just need it all to stop and to go away? Where do you even start to do something like that when you live in a small town, where you constantly bump into people you know…Or at the very least someone who knows the person you know.

I am just at that point where I’m done. I am so tired of people who neither appreciate me or even try to understand. My world can feel so lonely sometimes and I hate how it’s made to feel that way by people who are supposed to care. The thing that gets to me, is that I introduced half my friends to each other and they hang out and keep “liking” each other things, while leaving me out! How does that even happen?

My “friends” make me feel like I’m some kind of horrible person and I’m so tired of it. I’ve stopped going on Facebook, other than to message people, because I’m tired. The only thing is I have to keep going on to check my messages and I cannot figure out how to hide it so people can’t see I’m on at all. The only place I feel 100% “safe” anymore is on my Blog and when I’m chatting with my Safari Live family.

Readers, so when you have been in a situation like this, what do you do? Do you just stop all contact until you figure yourself out? I feel alone at a crossroads, I definitely don’t trust anyone enough to just listen to me. I kind of just want a new life, with my partner and my family though. Just new friends =/ What about yourselves? Have you just gotten sick and tired of your “friends”?

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Always here too me…

I promise that I will stop posting the depressing blog posts about break ups soon, I have a slight feeling that I am feeling a little better. I have stopped talking to my ex, cold turkey. He didn’t do anything wrong I just realised that I was not moving on and so far this actually seems to be working. I was just having this random thought and at the moment I’m not really sure that I even know how to talk to my friends and family about it, mainly because I am worried if I let them know how I’m feeling, they will become worried and there’s nothing to worry about. So I guess what I’m saying any advice would be much appreciated! (Am I glad or what my ex can’t see this either!lol)

This is the first break up that I have ever had where I feel truly alone. I feel a huge part of me is missing. It took me a long time to let my guard down with my ex and when I did, I fell pretty darn quickly after that. He became such a huge part of my life in such a big way in a short amount of time and I’m not even sure any-more what he was actually feeling. He made feel the happiest and the safest that I have ever felt before and now I have the hopeless feeling that he may have never cared for me as strongly as I felt for him. I’m tired of asking him if he did care about me, because why would he say no for? He’d be too terrified to tell me anything else,lol.

In all honesty, in thirty years, I have never felt like this after a break up. Sometimes it is extremely distressing and I completely zone out and pay no attention to what is going on around me (I nearly got hit by a car the other day). Has anyone else ever gone through this? Can you give any advice on how to help me through? What are some steps that I could take to get through this.

Cheers!*

*Update* I had this post scheduled and since then I am no longer in contact with my ex in anyway and have no plans of that changing shortly, but I would still appreciate the advice!