Pandora

…But not the box! I mean the radio station! I just got introduced to it this week (even though it’s been out for, forever!)

Check it out here! Pandora – Free Radio Station

THIS Pandora is a free radio station. By free I mean that the music is free to listen too, although it does give you the option and will give you a link to buy the tracks. You can choose the type of music, genre, artist, that sort of thing and it will play music similar to what you started to listen too. You can create over 100 stations and you can choose the music specifically for that station (I already have 3).

It is free, in that you don’t have to pay for the music, BUT of course there is downloading and that always takes up Gigabytes. The amount of gigabytes though is so tiny, that they don’t even take up a whole gigabyte over hours of listening to the music.

“The Talk”

So last night I went out a date with the “guy”…(I really should give him a nickname…Sir, I’ll call him “Sir” He is a Sir =D). We’ve pretty much just been going out, but not hanging out if that makes sense. So I brought it up if he minded us going slowly. I think sometimes I forget (and others too) that only a couple of days before I decided to try out the online dating scenes I got into the last major fight with my ex.

I probably should have given myself more time, but I didn’t expect to actually meet someone. At the same time though, I have not a single doubt that that is the reason I need to take things slowly. I can feel in my heart that it’s very broken and it feels like trying to stick steel back together again. But it sticking back together, not exactly as it was of course, but it is.

Anyways we had “the talk” last night and I walked away very happy from it. I think he actually really listened to why I needed to take things slowly and he is actually in the same boat as me. I don’t know if he had a fight with his ex two days before he went on the online dating site, but he’s tired of being hurt too. So we are actually both wanting to take it slowly. It was such a good conversation and I am so glad that I brought it up, he really listens to me.

I am really glad that I’ve met him =)

Fantasy Lovers

We’ve all had one, haven’t we? That person that we want, that person we can’t have, the one that we can never have? You’re not in love with them and you’re not planning or are going to cheat on your current partner, but you can’t help but think about them. What would it be like to be with them, just one night with them? Even when you’re single and you still can’t have them, you want them, they’re the one you think of during the night, the one that “helps” you to get over your heart break.

I feel really terrible, with my fantasy guy, I could never have him. But I really want him, even for just one night. Even when we were both single and even before I met the guy I’m with now, I can’t have him and I really wanted him. You see, I woke up to hear him singing one morning and I don’t think he knew that I was there. He has the most beautiful voice I have ever heard and he plays the guitar…but I was lying there, completely falling for his voice, and at the same time I was lying right next to my partner, at the time.

I had laid there so still, as to not wake up my (now ex) partner and I just listened to this amazinginly beautiful voice signing one of my favourite songs of all time and strumming his guitar. Soak through the thin walls and into my mind and I haven’t been able to shake it out of their since. He’s been the one that I sing about in the shower, he’s the one that I think about in the darkness of the night and this will be the only time I ever tell about it to another soul.

There is nothing worse than a fantasy lover that you can never have.

The one who makes you feel like this… (the song that inspired me to write this post)

Uploaded by BeckGVEVO

Published on 3 Dec 2014

Download “Can’t Stop Dancin'” on iTunes:
http://smarturl.it/CantStopDancin?IQi…

The Music in me…

I don’t believe that Music should be defined into which “genre” is better than the others. It needs to be defined by how it makes you feel. It needs to be defined by how it moves you…Music needs to be defined by YOU and no one else but you.

My dream is to walk down the aisle to “Nothing Else Matters” by Metallica, but dance with my father to “There you’ll be” by Faith Hill.

 

You see the thing is…It should have been you…

If you could read mind right now this is what you’d hear…

You see…the thing is…I am finding my life incredibly fun these days, there is always something to do and someone that I can see…Every now and then I can’t help but think that it seems so unfair that you’re not here with me having this fun…But then again you are the one that made all of this happen.

It should be me and you taking on the world, making it ours, we completely deserve it!

But my life is a lot of fun right now and I don’t think of nearly as much as I use to and the nightmares have stopped, well for the past week at least. Music is really making me angry for some reason though.

I can’t wait to fall in love again, I guess that’s one thing I can take from this. You did open up my heart to make sure that I knew that it was really there, so I thank you for that. I can’t wait too meet the one and experience all that life has to offer when you fall in love…But…it should have been you.

Some days I literally have to sit on my hands, or “gasp” do homework to distract myself from contacting you. I promised you that you never had to worry about hearing from me again. Why were you so stupid? Why couldn’t you have just said “I’m sorry…I never meant any of this too happen and I never meant to hurt you”. We only knew each other a short time, but there is a dark hole in my heart that I can’t fill up with anything else. That little hole just hiding there, I can feel just the tip of the beginning of that hole at all times.

I am off to have fun again and I will, it’s not meant to sound mean, but I don’t feel like I should have to be sad. I love you always (you never knew that either, did you?) I would have married you without hesitation if you had asked and I’ve never felt like that before…The thing is, you’ll never know any of this. I’m kind of glad about that, I wouldn’t want anyone to take that for weakness, I don’t want you back now.

Shoulda, Woulda, Coulda…The thing is…It’s not you.

Rumi