I refuse to keep telling people when I’m putting ear phones in to listen to something actually important. Does anyone else have the problem I have? EVERY SINGLE TIME you tell people you’re putting your earphones in, because you need to listen to something important. THAT’S the time they’ve decided, after not talking to you all day. THAT’S the time they want to suddenly have a deep and meaningful???!!
Courtesy of Rory:
Are we losing the art of listening in comparison to simply hearing?
I do believe that most definitely that is true. I have to say I think I’m one of them. It can depend on how I’m feeling as well, if I’m trying to get myself out of an anxiety attack. I may not listen as much, if I don’t really like the person. If it’s a situation, you know where someone just complains and does nothing about their situation? My mum complains a lot about her work, but has never applied for another job and only really says anything to me about it all. A lot of her mangers seems to be borderline treating their employees illegal. Their managers customer service is atrocious as well! People only like talking to my mum and she’s the receptionist, so there’s only so much she can do herself. Even saying that my Mum is still a good listener, hence why people keep wanting to talk to just her.
How often do you openly discuss with friends or here in WP with your readership topics that make you feel uncomfortable or may be taboo or stigma laden?
Not too many people know about my WordPress, my partner does and possibly others do. I actually just had a “real life” friend post a screen shot saying the link to my blog wasn’t working. So people do know about it, but I don’t talk about it. Unless they bring it up of course.
Do you think that these discussions should be freely discussed and written about more?
Too a point, sometimes constantly talking about something can bring you down. But you need to get the awareness out there as well.
Did you have a nickname as a child and if so, what was [or what is it now]?
I used to get called Smiley a lot when I was kid, I always apparently smiled…a lot. The only time I used to cry was when I put in restraints. Who can blame me though! So my baby play pen and when I got older, I hated being in a seat belt. I still do really,lol.
Why is there still ‘stuff’ we simply just don’t understand despite our progressive world?
I don’t think we’re always supposed to understand everything. Otherwise would we be here?
Would you rather double your height or lose half your weight? (In response to last week’s double your weight, half your height query). Thanks Leslie! Suggestion by Leslie – Swot8
I think double my height, I don’t think it’d hurt to be taller. If I lost half my weight, I’d be severely underweight. I’m trying to lose weight, jut not that much,lol
What is your most essential kitchen tool? (Can be a person you know. For the non-cooks in the crowd).
Courtesy of Roger Shipp
Who is one blogger you really admire and why?
The blogger who I admire most is *drum roll please* BereavedSingleDad
Bereaved Single Dad has to be one of the most positive people I’ve “seen”, when with the things that have happened would break a normal person. I admire them because despite everything you just get the feeling that the ones he loves are never a burden to him. The places himself and his family have seen. His son is a very lucky person, I know far too many people who would have given up.
I realised I never finished the 2/2 post. Listen 2/2
The point of my last two “Listen” points was this…I swear this is that this is the last point about this.
I think a lot of my issues, but especially with my ex friends. I think that there issues were I just assumed that A) When I talked to Karen about Gretchen, she had actually heard what I had said. B) I didn’t think I had to tell ADULTS how to treat other beings. Especially when other people are literally saying to them “We never see you anymore” C) In hindsight, they did tend to make it all about them.
As I mentioned in the last post, just because you don’t hear what someone has said, doesn’t mean it hasn’t been said.
That’s my issues…a lot of what I say isn’t heard, even though I have literally said:
- Telling Karen I don’t like the way Gretchen constantly attacked me. Then I get accused of being passive aggressive.
- Telling my mum I only like a certain type of pyjama, and the very next week. She’s buys me ANOTHER pair after we had just bought myself a pair.. Big fight because apparently “she just gets it wrong”…Well yeah you did. The material was wrong, I had just gotten a pair the week before and she bought it from a store I’ve always been told we’re not allowed to go in? I had also TOLD her that I only like a certain material with pyjamas.
- My Dad went to help with my partners leak. I told him NOT to touch the tap, he touched it. The hot water turned off. Should probably mention my partners house, he’s renting it. So if it had broke, broken…My partner would be up for it.
My problem is, people aren’t listening to me and don’t like it when I point it out, or just plain do not listen and don’t like it when I want better for myself. Are the same people who go on about how I have to speak up more.
It is very confusing to be me.
Last week I wrote about that all I had wanted for my birthday was to be listened, and even though telling people what I wanted and didn’t want. They still didn’t at all “get it”. You can see it here…Because not only did they not get it, but that I was the one in the wrong for them not listening.
Now, I am continuing with writing about why the best present I could have received this year was the one of being listened too.
I recently wrote about and told some people who then got…weird…Mainly that I finally BELIEVED that no matter what the “Mean Girls” wrote about me, no matter how long they stayed friends for. I will always be the better friend.
When the day had come that we had all stopped being friends with each other. What I had been most irritated about was what they were accusing me of. Basically, everything they said was…
- Regina said that she doesn’t like being attacked. One, I wasn’t attacking anyone, I literally wrote a note that was about how I NEEDED to start taking better care of myself and my mental health. I wrote about how I ended up in hospital (which at that point none of them knew about because I didn’t trust them. I still don’t think they know).
- The funny thing about what Regina said. Two years previous and the time that I started to decide “I don’t like these people”. I had gotten into a argument with her because instead of blaming herself or her boyfriend for his abuse (like “normal” people do). Nope, she decided to blame me because I was single and when she’s single she doesn’t like hearing how happy we are. Our friend “Karen” then decided to start posting passive aggressive posts about how “real friends” are there for each other. I was left out, of course. So when I confronted Karen and the others they all said “It’s just who she is”. So apparently it’s fine that I get blamed and attacked?
- The day of the last time I had anything to do with them. I also got attacked by Karen saying how she doesn’t ‘respect’ the passive aggressive…Well I guess she doesn’t respect herself very much or Gretchen or Regina. The laughable thing was, I had a whole conversation with Karen about how much I was over Gretchen being a bitch to me, just because “that’ the way she is”. So even if my note had anything to do with them, it’s not like she didn’t know how I felt already?
- Also though, regarding Karen. Karen, like the character, is actually really vague about…well, everything…and that in turns makes her passive aggressive. She had honestly spent the last two years telling us she was “too busy” and then would spend all night, on Facebook, posting to her new friends. Gretchen was telling her all the time “We never see you anymore”. But the even worse thing was, a few years before that had happened. Karen had someone do exactly what she was doing to us, to her. So for her not to even “get it”…Well, I didn’t respect that.
- I didn’t care that Karen had decided to take that path, it was a reflection on her, not us. I have just never understood how though she never “got it”. I am not someone who begs you to be around me, but when I’m the one that has to try and unhurt the hurt you’re causing. When you are ignoring the people who obviously miss you. When you are blatantly rubbing in their faces that you think these new friends are better than them. You don’t get to turn around to me and say “I don’t respect the passive aggressiveness”.
Just because someone said something you didn’t want to hear…Doesn’t mean, they didn’t say it.
No idea who said that,lol
My point is this:
I have been dealing with this problem over the last couple of months. As a few things have hit me about certain friendships. People who will tag you in those “Friends are like Family” type posts and your first thought “You are so full of it”…The type where you can literally write “I am not okay”, they ignore that (while tagging you in those “posts…Friends that are like Family) then you write how people suck and THAT one they seem to pay attention to and get all offended by?
Like Kenneth I have noticed a trend of people just not listening any-more other than when they want to prove someone wrong. Some people I only ever hear from when they want to tell me that I am doing something wrong…I admit, I tend to ignore these people. This is generally because you can’t just talk to someone and make bold comments on someone’s words, their thoughts and ideas if you are only ever talking to them when it suits you. Positive or Negative. In order to get a full novel of someone’s life, you have to have conservations with that person…Pleasant and Unpleasant.
…But not the box! I mean the radio station! I just got introduced to it this week (even though it’s been out for, forever!)
Check it out here! Pandora – Free Radio Station
THIS Pandora is a free radio station. By free I mean that the music is free to listen too, although it does give you the option and will give you a link to buy the tracks. You can choose the type of music, genre, artist, that sort of thing and it will play music similar to what you started to listen too. You can create over 100 stations and you can choose the music specifically for that station (I already have 3).
It is free, in that you don’t have to pay for the music, BUT of course there is downloading and that always takes up Gigabytes. The amount of gigabytes though is so tiny, that they don’t even take up a whole gigabyte over hours of listening to the music.
So last night I went out a date with the “guy”…(I really should give him a nickname…Sir, I’ll call him “Sir” He is a Sir =D). We’ve pretty much just been going out, but not hanging out if that makes sense. So I brought it up if he minded us going slowly. I think sometimes I forget (and others too) that only a couple of days before I decided to try out the online dating scenes I got into the last major fight with my ex.
I probably should have given myself more time, but I didn’t expect to actually meet someone. At the same time though, I have not a single doubt that that is the reason I need to take things slowly. I can feel in my heart that it’s very broken and it feels like trying to stick steel back together again. But it sticking back together, not exactly as it was of course, but it is.
Anyways we had “the talk” last night and I walked away very happy from it. I think he actually really listened to why I needed to take things slowly and he is actually in the same boat as me. I don’t know if he had a fight with his ex two days before he went on the online dating site, but he’s tired of being hurt too. So we are actually both wanting to take it slowly. It was such a good conversation and I am so glad that I brought it up, he really listens to me.
I am really glad that I’ve met him =)
We’ve all had one, haven’t we? That person that we want, that person we can’t have, the one that we can never have? You’re not in love with them and you’re not planning or are going to cheat on your current partner, but you can’t help but think about them. What would it be like to be with them, just one night with them? Even when you’re single and you still can’t have them, you want them, they’re the one you think of during the night, the one that “helps” you to get over your heart break.
I feel really terrible, with my fantasy guy, I could never have him. But I really want him, even for just one night. Even when we were both single and even before I met the guy I’m with now, I can’t have him and I really wanted him. You see, I woke up to hear him singing one morning and I don’t think he knew that I was there. He has the most beautiful voice I have ever heard and he plays the guitar…but I was lying there, completely falling for his voice, and at the same time I was lying right next to my partner, at the time.
I had laid there so still, as to not wake up my (now ex) partner and I just listened to this amazinginly beautiful voice signing one of my favourite songs of all time and strumming his guitar. Soak through the thin walls and into my mind and I haven’t been able to shake it out of their since. He’s been the one that I sing about in the shower, he’s the one that I think about in the darkness of the night and this will be the only time I ever tell about it to another soul.
There is nothing worse than a fantasy lover that you can never have.
The one who makes you feel like this… (the song that inspired me to write this post)
Uploaded by BeckGVEVO
Download “Can’t Stop Dancin'” on iTunes:
I don’t believe that Music should be defined into which “genre” is better than the others. It needs to be defined by how it makes you feel. It needs to be defined by how it moves you…Music needs to be defined by YOU and no one else but you.
My dream is to walk down the aisle to “Nothing Else Matters” by Metallica, but dance with my father to “There you’ll be” by Faith Hill.