Thursday Theories – My Anxiety

Now the purpose of this blog post. While I will talk about something that I think I’ve realised about my own anxiety. This post is, (I hope) a informed post about listening to your bodies. Which includes listening to your mind.

Our bodies are well equipped to let us know when something is “off”.

Over the last few months, I have experienced really odd flushes. I wouldn’t call them hot flushes, but they’re more like shaky flushes. Almost like when, I assume, your blood levels go low. However, when I’ve been tested, I haven’t got anything wrong. I decided to start taking note of when I get these shakes. I started to noticed that I get them when I’m getting really annoyed or fed up. It can even be something as simple as, I’m clearly not listening or am listening, but have to pay attention to something (haha), but the person whose talking to me, expects my full attention. It can be something literally that simple.

So I have started to think that it’s probably got more to do with my anxiety tablets, than anything else. As a kind of side effect, I guess you might call it.

I believe when my brain starts to get annoyed, it must be increasing something in my brain and the tablets are sending out weird signals. My brain on the anxiety tablet handles when I become annoyed, by making me feel like I’m going to faint.

I didn’t want to look it up on Google, as you all know what can happen then!

I could only really find though really, how anxiety can make you feel dizzy…which duh…There was a couple of things that did talk about it being a side affect.

The point of this?

When you have a illness, whether it be physically or mental. Yes, even spiritual.

We tend to listen to the Doctors, Nurses, family etc. And ignore what we think is going on. We just pass things off. Don’t do this. Listen to your body, your gut, your mind.

My “theory” is that our body are the best judges of what our body is going through. I know we tend to brush these things off, but do not. Take notes, if you must. Day, time and what you felt.

In my mid-long life, I have learnt

You can’t tell the people you know, anything, haha.

No matter who much someone you know may be surrounded by others, who know what they’re talking about. No matter how much someone you know may see those around talk about their experiences, about how real something is. No matter who many people someone you know may lose from their lives, because of their “No, not listening”. Some people just will not listen, will they?

I’m not just talking about when someone asks you for advice, and then they don’t take it. I think everyone does that. Although, depending on who it is, you might do. I’m also talking about how smart people around you, might be talking about how real COVID is, or something like that. Yet, someone you know, will take a picture of a leaflet they got in the mail saying how “fake” COVID is.

Not that I’m looking at anyone in my family in particular about that.

You know what I mean? Especially when you are Facebook “friends” with people who have actually had COVID. It’s just weird, lol

One more time…and for those in the back

I’m going to break this down, instead of writing a rant…again. Yes, POC can do bad and evil things. What I’m tired of though, people acting like white women are delicate little flowers. So here is a list of everything that white women were the majority of women supporters for. Please don’t make me have to write “not all white women”, because clearly no. What I am about to list though, are where white women are the majority when it comes to supporting something, or not supporting something. That actually would be detrimental to them, women.

The majority of white women, support:

  • Trump … Which is still shocking to me, and never should have happened.
  • Racism
  • TERF’s
  • And Gender Critical men who are abusive and derogatory towards cis and trans women.
  • Other Karen’s
  • Piers Morgan. Not only that but when I’ve tried to explain to other white woman why Sharon Osbourne was wrong for shouting over her WOC co-stars. I was told that they didn’t agree with me, because Sharon didn’t understand. Weren’t we all told that when you don’t understand something, you TOTALLY shout over that person… -.-
  • Hating on Meghan Markle. They blame her for the “downfall” for the Royal Family, while ignoring that the Royal family are currently protecting Prince Andrew. Also they forget how Princess Diana was treated, by the exact same people that they are now defending. Which is why the majority of people believe Harry and Meghan. Just not white women, lol.
  • They did support burning witches, wizards and dogs.
  • Alex Salmond
  • Boris Johnson
  • Women who call themselves “trans widows” Which is freaking disrespectful!
  • Apparently they also now all support bullying and harassing co-workers in the work place : Re Maya Forstater and JKRowling.

They don’t support, but they should, because it helps protects not only themselves but also people who they say they “love”.

  • Anti-Masks
  • Anti-BLM
  • Emmett Till, was executed for flirting with a white woman. Then it turns that the flirting DIDN’T EVEN HAPPEN!
  • Although women are treated WAY more harshly when they cry about a fake rape, as opposed to people who do rape others. The women crying fake rape, the majority are white. Also all of them give excuses, which people just excuse them for.
  • Social Justice.
  • The Law.
  • Justice in general.

LISTEN!!! When did that stop???

*Long Rant Post Incoming. I have lot to say about people who do not listen anymore*

In all honesty, this is probably the only place I actually feel listened to anymore. So you know that post about how I hate birthdays? Well the saga’s continue…

My mum bought me tickets to A Candlelight orchestra playing Disney music. Which sounds great and it did. But then it started to get weirder and weirder. So my mum said why she have to ring up the place to find out if it’s a scam or not. As I mentioned, well you have the tickets, and the information. I do not. But I rang anyway…Three times…For it to basically be a scam. Well it sounds like one. So I tell my mum what I found out. It sounds like something to do with Vivaldi is on.

She then proceeds to ignore what I say and say well everyone else is still keen. Are you? When I read this, I remembered how only the weekend before how I had to go to a party that I knew I wasn’t actually invited to the first time.

So then she sends me a screen shot of a reply, saying oh look what they found out! It’s still on. Some weird explanation about how the Vivaldi has been a couple of weeks beforehand, even though the person I actually TALKED too. Said something very different, the Vivaldi thing was on this week and next week. She also said there was a mix up the week before, where people rocked up and nothing was on.

But you know, god forbid SOMEONE LISTENS TOO ME…

I am just over people not listening to anyone.

I think people more and more these days just want to be right and/or liked. Without listening to how they’re actions and words affect others. A lot of people I know were annoyed with me because beforehand I had said how I hate birthdays, because no one listens to you and you end up feeling like shit. People REALLY seem to believe that you can buy people expensive presents, that you can have a good night at somewhere. And it means that all the lead up is gone and buried and forgiven, it REALLY doesn’t! Funnily enough, one of my fellow Taurus friends who was born the day before me, agreed with me.

Let’s see what happened to the lead up to my birthday this year.

I was invited to a party for myself, and three others born in the same week. However, I wasn’t even invited to the first “round”. It was ONLY because everyone said no to the first date, nothing to do with me though. Though the people who invited me the SECOND time, thought it was. The first round’s date was on a long weekend, so no one was here, lol. I was only allowed to invited two friends, which I couldn’t do. Because if I invite that person, than those three have to come. Yet my mum, whose birthday it wasn’t even for, was allowed to invite all her friends. Yet, everyone will insist to me that they would never put this “family” over me. No one said anything to them, no one stood up for me, or point out how weird it was. I didn’t even get a say on the music list.

My partner made me come along to his game, that I have repeatedly told him I feel dumb, I don’t feel comfortable and he’s always telling me what to do…Because I DON’T KNOW HOW TO PLAY THE GAME. That was the weekend before my birthday. The weekend after my birthday, he didn’t show up to the party I was only invited to in the second round.

I didn’t have a good time because of any of them, I had a good time, because of ME. And because I invited my friends anyway, lol.

I don’t know HOW no one whose supposed to be close too me or who I’ve known my whole life, doesn’t know this about me. I am not motivated by money or expensive things. I am motivated by love, kindness and knowing who respects.

Enough about me though…Because it’s not just me this keeps happening too…Maybe it’s why though I can relate to a lot of people.

I am sure by now, for anyone who gets into disagreements and arguments with people, by now, you would have experienced or you would have seen someone say “It’s just my opinion”…Or “Are you saying I can’t have a opinion”. You’ll find most if not all people who say this, the person they’re talking never actually says that they can’t have a opinion. Most, if not all the time, people are pointing out what is actually wrong with their opinion. As an example, recently I had ended just a white man to fuck off with his opinion.

His opinion wasn’t you know “Swiss Cheese in the best cheese”. His “opinion”? That a black woman was lying about how WOC are more likely to die during childbirth, because Doctors don’t take them as seriously. Which has actually been proven before. Same with heart attacks. Not so much racism reasons, but because WOC always have to come across as…and as Michelle Obama says … Better than perfect. I asked this male, when was the last time he was WOC giving birth? Of course he replied with “What are you saying I can’t have a opinion (quote) fucking hypocrite” So I reminded him I didn’t say that, I just asked him about how he was claiming he had “experiences” then. Then told him to fuck off.

Meghan Markle and Prince Harry

Again, why do people trying to tell me what Meghan Markle and HARRY said? I actually listened to what they said. I wont listen to anything Piers Morgan has to say. That “man” has a unhealthy obsession with her, and anyone who doesn’t like him in general. I can always tell when someone has listened to him or the tabloids. Because they always do exactly what Harry and Meghan are saying. Harry and Meghan actually said:

  • Nothing bad about the Queen, in fact it was all positive, good and respectful and I suspect Harry may even be her favourite.
  • HARRY TOLD Meghan about the “skin tone” question. Also that it was “a” family member. And lets be honest here, we probably all have at least ONE racist family member. I do. Also though, if they had said that about my family, I wouldn’t overreact and try to convince every it isn’t me. Like certain white people are trying say Harry and Meghan are saying. That’s not what they said.
  • In fact, neither Meghan or Harry blamed their Family. They blamed the people working around them or “The Institution”.

I think a LOT OF WHITE PEOPLE. Just listened to and heard what they wanted too. What has been funny about that is that I don’t know WHAT the Royal Family or the Institution think they’re doing. But they’re desperate attempts of PR are freaking laughable lately. The tabloids are still doing what they’re always doing. The Royals work for the people…Not the other way round. Sorry, not sorry.

Just a reminder as well. All these white folks be defending “the Institution” which is what they’re defending. This is the SAME INSTITUTION that attacked and harmed Princess Diana as well. So when Harry said “I could see History repeating itself” I HEARD THAT…A lot of people heard that, except for some white people and the tabloids.

White Women Victimhood Package

Seriously, as a white woman, I would really love to know, lol. Is there some sort of white woman, victimhood package. Where a white woman is completely in the wrong, but then she gets to go on this “Victimhood” tour, where she gets to complain how much SHE was hurt. While the people that have been hurt, are ignored?

I’m talking about:

  • Suzanne Moore
  • Sharon Osbourne
  • Kelly Osbourne
  • All Trumps Media “advisors”.
  • Well, every Trump Government advisor or head of department.
  • Amanda Stoker
  • Bettina Arndt
  • JK Rowling

I know all about free speech, but sometimes I just want to say to these women and some white men too. SHUT UP AND ACTUALLY LISTEN FOR ONCE. Where I hear more about how you are not listening, rather than the people you’re not listening too, it’s actually really embarrassing to me, and I don’t understand how it’s not embarrassing to them? I don’t care that Sharon Osbourne doesn’t understand a WOC point of view, so she got defensive. LISTEN THEN! Shut up and listen. And if you continue not to understand, you most definitely don’t speak over the WOC trying to explain it to you. You will never learn if you’re constantly talking over the people you’re harming.

Just listen white ladies.


AllMusicPopVEVO

30 day song challenge … Day 23

Day 23 – A song you think everybody should listen too.

In all honesty, I couldn’t think of just one. There are lot of good songs out there, all for different reasons. So I decided to list my top 5 of songs I feel that people should listen too. It’s my blog, I do what I like, haha

Song 1: Savage Garden – Affirmation


Savage Garden

Song 2: Lindsey Stirling + Alexander Jean – Stampede


Lindsey Stirling


Song 3: Within Temptation – Mother Earth

Within Temptation
Within Temptation

Song 4: Band: The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus – Your Guardian Angel, Video – Blue Sapphire Girl


BlueSaphireGirl

Song 5: Selena Gomez (I want her to be my daughter) – Kill em with kindness


Selena Gomez


How to actually love and protect women and girls

This one is for the TERFs.

How you actually love, and in turn, protect women and children, is simple …

LISTEN TO THEM!!!

Don’t be posting pictures of trans women, side by side, or playing with cis women and asking random people “How is this fair, how is this dignified” When you HAVEN’T ASKED THE WOMEN ON EITHER SIDE OF HER!

I realise today actually, what pisses me off about the TERFs the most. All the big “wigs” have all admitted that they were attack by a man, a cis man. Not a trans man or a trans woman, a cis man. Yet, for some reason, they’ve ALL decided that instead of focusing on why men are more prone to violence. They decided to make their focus trans people. Which SOLVES NOTHING! The cycle of violence against women CONTINUES. Because instead of making violence against women, the topic, they’re making innocent people the focus. Instead of making the men who did violence towards them, the focus, they’ve decided to take the focus off of them, and place it on someone completely innocent!

Shae Your World – 16/11/2020

Share Your World – 11/16/2020

Oddball Questions:

Is cereal soup? Why or why not?

Sometimes it turns into soup, lol. Let’s get fancy and call it breakfast soup!

What are some interesting ways to answer everyday questions like “how’s it going” or “what do you do”?

What I do have are a very particular set of skills. Skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you.

What was your favorite toy growing up?

I had a few, I’ve held onto a few as well, making sure that I keep them in relatively good condition. One though, that really stands her, and I still have her. I think she’s called either Brittany or Britney, she’s a “life size” doll and she came with me everywhere! Unfortunately, every time I put in Brittany or Britney life size doll, it’s only ever Britney Spears doll. My brother, when he started to learned how to sow, turned her Goth! Haha! If you look at life size Barbie’s from the early 90’s, that’s pretty much how she looked, but she wasn’t a Barbie. I called her my sister, and we went everywhere together.

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! My Mum sent me her picture!

If you have a pet, and you could ask it three questions, what would you ask?

  1. What do we do that annoys you, that we do?
  2. Would be willingly to try different cat foods.
  3. Do you like me? lol

Attitude of Gratitude Section (Always Optional)

What’s one simple thing society at large could do to improve our world?

Honestly? Just take the time to actually shut up and LISTEN…

Listen

“Riots don’t just come out of thin air”.

I think that one of the things that was really annoyed about people like Trump, regarding the Minnesotan riots. Other than the obvious. Is that people like him, keep talking about George, like they even knew him. Or people like Trump supporters tried to justify their protests, because it wasn’t about hair. It was about small businesses not being able to open, when big business were.

Ummm, no, there were plenty of Karens making it about hair. There were literal signs and videos of them, making it about it hair. There were also a lot of Karen-type yelling “Freedom” while holding an opened Baskin Robbins or Big Gulp, who were in the background, opened. Also, a lot of small businesses (like hair dressers) are not deemed essential…Because, well, they’re not. They are also plenty of small businesses that have just put their products on websites.

Guess who can’t frequent small businesses anymore, no matter what. George Floyd.

These so-called “patriotic Americans”, decided they didn’t have to listen to POC being murdered by the people who were supposed to protect them. When Kapernick knelt, they said he should be locked up. He was a traitor. By the SAME PEOPLE who are NOW saying they should have peacefully protested first. They put Martin Luther King Jr quotes in their bios and profiles, but just as the same as when they put “Christian” in there too. They have no idea what that means.

What happened in people’s lives that makes them think a building is worth more than a person? You know who can’t walk into anymore buildings? George Floyd. He can’t walk into the building of his home, where he works, his mothers homes, his friends home. He can’t even walk into a Walmart anymore. He can’t walk into his own home anymore and hug his kids. He will NEVER be able to walk into his children’s home.

Quiet frankly I’m surprised this hasn’t happened before, and I’m surprised that people are surprised that this is happening now. It’s kind of like people who are still surprised that people don’t like Trump and never did,lol

Listen 3/2

I realised I never finished the 2/2 post. Listen 2/2

The point of my last two “Listen” points was this…I swear this is that this is the last point about this.

I think a lot of my issues, but especially with my ex friends. I think that there issues were I just assumed that A) When I talked to Karen about Gretchen, she had actually heard what I had said. B) I didn’t think I had to tell ADULTS how to treat other beings. Especially when other people are literally saying to them “We never see you anymore” C) In hindsight, they did tend to make it all about them.

As I mentioned in the last post, just because you don’t hear what someone has said, doesn’t mean it hasn’t been said.

That’s my issues…a lot of what I say isn’t heard, even though I have literally said:

  • Telling Karen I don’t like the way Gretchen constantly attacked me. Then I get accused of being passive aggressive.
  • Telling my mum I only like a certain type of pyjama, and the very next week. She’s buys me ANOTHER pair after we had just bought myself a pair.. Big fight because apparently “she just gets it wrong”…Well yeah you did. The material was wrong, I had just gotten a pair the week before and she bought it from a store I’ve always been told we’re not allowed to go in? I had also TOLD her that I only like a certain material with pyjamas.
  • My Dad went to help with my partners leak. I told him NOT to touch the tap, he touched it. The hot water turned off. Should probably mention my partners house, he’s renting it. So if it had broke, broken…My partner would be up for it.

My problem is, people aren’t listening to me and don’t like it when I point it out, or just plain do not listen and don’t like it when I want better for myself. Are the same people who go on about how I have to speak up more.

It is very confusing to be me.