I wrote a post a few days ago talking about having a little get together, with a fire pit and burning things to “let them go” and can I just say that I found it very therapeutic. I honestly didn’t know what to write. I have this letter written in case they ever decide to “come” for me.
What I ended up writing down was very simple:
“I am not a horrible person”.
I don’t miss them, you can’t miss people you just don’t care about.
What makes me angry though is accusing me of being this rotten human being and that is the part I am having trouble letting go of. Mainly because, even though, they are in their mid 30s, they have the maturity of 15 year old little girls. So every now and then someone lets something slip and it’s always them attacking me. It makes me roll my eyes, but it annoys the p..o..o..p…Out of me as well (not literally).
It felt SO good to write that on the note and then burn it. Logically I (and everyone else) know I am good person…If I could just rid of this annoyance, it’d be 100% fine. I think I’ll have to speak with my therapist, because it bugs me that it bugs me. I, myself, have told people not get upset by their attacks, this is just who they are. So why does that one part bug me so much still?
I feel relieved now, it did help…But I’m bugged, that I was so bugged by it.
I think one of the most difficult things about a break up and what you do afterwards, is, what do you do with all the gifts afterwards? If you’re going to keep them, or anything, how long do you hold on, and how do you determine which things are items that you want to hold onto?
I had one ex who had kept…well pretty much everything…I am always wary of a person who has SO many things of their past relationship. That that person could literally walk back into the door and it was like they were never gone. I think what was also a red flag was when my ex told me that he had left angry, which had meant he had to go back and get all of her things, clothing, empty paint bottles, even some adult toys. That is having far too many things of your ex’s. You have to let at least some things go.
However, I also think it’s okay to keep a couple of things, but it all depends on the individual. Some people do have trouble letting go and will use the items left behind as a way to keeping holding on. I once had a box that had bits and bobs and over the years it’s gotten less and less as I’ve thrown out more and more. Some of the things that I have held onto are items that are hopeless hopes that my ex’s weren’t complete douche-bags, and that I hadn’t made such horrible choices.
I think the weirdest thing I have ever seen an ex hold onto was the adult toy. For various reasons, firstly is just crept me out. His ex girlfriend bought it for herself, so he didn’t even buy it for her, she bought it for her. The reason they broke up was because she was constantly cheating on him. How could you take a adult toy, without knowing whether or not she used with those others? That and it’s just gross. His friends know all about this particular toy and seemed almost shocked when asked if I had ever used it and I said “HELL TO THE NO!”…Are they kidding?
Have you kept anything from a past relationship? Only feel comfortable sharing if you want, if you have, why? Do you have an issue with current partners keeping items from an ex? What’s the weirdest thing an ex or yourself has ever kept?