What do you do after?

I think one of the most difficult things about a break up and what you do afterwards, is, what do you do with all the gifts afterwards? If you’re going to keep them, or anything, how long do you hold on, and how do you determine which things are items that you want to hold onto?

letting-go-breakup

I had one ex who had kept…well pretty much everything…I am always wary of a person who has SO many things of their past relationship. That that person could literally walk back into the door and it was like they were never gone. I think what was also a red flag was when my ex told me that he had left angry, which had meant he had to go back and get all of her things, clothing, empty paint bottles, even some adult toys. That is having far too many things of your ex’s. You have to let at least some things go.

However, I also think it’s okay to keep a couple of things, but it all depends on the individual. Some people do have trouble letting go and will use the items left behind as a way to keeping holding on. I once had a box that had bits and bobs and over the years it’s gotten less and less as I’ve thrown out more and more. Some of the things that I have held onto are items that are hopeless hopes that my ex’s weren’t complete douche-bags, and that I hadn’t made such horrible choices.

I think the weirdest thing I have ever seen an ex hold onto was the adult toy. For various reasons, firstly is just crept me out. His ex girlfriend bought it for herself, so he didn’t even buy it for her, she bought it for her. The reason they broke up was because she was constantly cheating on him. How could you take a adult toy, without knowing whether or not she used with those others? That and it’s just gross. His friends know all about this particular toy and seemed almost shocked when asked if I had ever used it and I said “HELL TO THE NO!”…Are they kidding?

 Have you kept anything from a past relationship? Only feel comfortable sharing if you want, if you have, why? Do you have an issue with current partners keeping items from an ex? What’s the weirdest thing an ex or yourself has ever kept?

Letting it Go

Have you ever gotten to a point in your life, where you are just tired of it all? You just need it all to stop and to go away? Where do you even start to do something like that when you live in a small town, where you constantly bump into people you know…Or at the very least someone who knows the person you know.

I am just at that point where I’m done. I am so tired of people who neither appreciate me or even try to understand. My world can feel so lonely sometimes and I hate how it’s made to feel that way by people who are supposed to care. The thing that gets to me, is that I introduced half my friends to each other and they hang out and keep “liking” each other things, while leaving me out! How does that even happen?

My “friends” make me feel like I’m some kind of horrible person and I’m so tired of it. I’ve stopped going on Facebook, other than to message people, because I’m tired. The only thing is I have to keep going on to check my messages and I cannot figure out how to hide it so people can’t see I’m on at all. The only place I feel 100% “safe” anymore is on my Blog and when I’m chatting with my Safari Live family.

Readers, so when you have been in a situation like this, what do you do? Do you just stop all contact until you figure yourself out? I feel alone at a crossroads, I definitely don’t trust anyone enough to just listen to me. I kind of just want a new life, with my partner and my family though. Just new friends =/ What about yourselves? Have you just gotten sick and tired of your “friends”?

Acceptance

Over the weekend there were just some things I learnt that I was just going to have to accept that it may never happen for me. Jobs, personal things, etc, etc, etc…

Don’t you just love it though when you can finally accept something and you can just 100% honestly let it go. Isn’t it a great feeling? I always find that when you do as well that’s when things start to happen for you. For example, even my now relationship I had given up on love and it was only because someone dared me to go a dating site, I would never have done it myself.

What do you think readers? Do you find when you finally accept and let things truly go, that’s when it happens?

Hard Lessons

I have a Twitter account … If you want to follow me I’m at LaurenBolton3 … I mainly it use for the Safari Drive and writing live tweets, but I retweet other things too! Craft ideas, petitions, interesting article, follow a lot of Cosplayers on there … All that stuff).

One of the people that follow on there is the delightful Chrissy Teigen (married to the legendary John Legend … Get It!) and she replied to a tweet (

It made me think because it is an interesting concept, as  the people who replied to the Tweet also gave me something to really think about (

… Seen here.

I was one of those people who wanted a group of people who I didn’t even like, to like me? It’s interesting to me, because over the last year I have really been trying to take them out and it was working and I have felt so much better. So why for so many years was I trying to get these people to just “like me”? I didn’t like them, I don’t even respect them that much. So what is with this human need to get people who don’t like us, to like us? It doesn’t even feel like a “survival” need, because how could something that makes us feel that badly, help us to continue to live? You can’t live to your full potential, if something brings you down that badly.

The thing that stays with me is I’m not like that with romantic relationships. A lot of them (except for one and there were good reasons behind that one) when they’re over, they were over. SO why did I find it so hard to let go of “friendships” that weren’t even that important to me?

Cutting it off and letting it go…

So…today I went for a chop a big hair chop! I realised when I woke up this morning that I had done nothing, not cutting off split ends…Nothing! With my hair since March!  Since the whole “he-who-shall-not-be-named” and I broke up. 

What is it about cutting our hair or doing something different with our hair that is completely therapeutic? I can honestly say that I feel lighter both physically and emotionally. Today for the first time in such a long time, well over a year, I actually feel pretty again! I wish I had done this earlier!!!

I swear that it should be a law or something that after a break up both injured parties have to go and get their hair done! It’d probably save others from the endless ‘heart breaking’ posts on Facebook!lol