The Leper

One of my ex’s got married over the weekend and on the day in question, everyone treated me like a Leper, afraid I’ll break…I don’t care that my ex got married, this particular partner was the worst person I ever dated, but taught me the most about myself and my limits. What I cared about and got upset about was that, even if I had been broken I didn’t appreciate the fact that no one was talking to me and no one was asking me if I was upset.

“The Leper”

So you got married today, not that I cared, my heart become a ghost town over you for such a long time. You taught me the biggest lessons about myself, I had to everything drop off of me before I could pick it up and reattach myself again.

You were the one that taught me the most about how now to be surprised that people will disappoint you, the ones you think you are closest too, watch them. Don’t trust someone the moment they give you a reason not too. For this I thank you because this has been my hardest lesson to learn.

It’s been a few weird years since we broke up, people I once called family I barely know now, but still continue to talk about me, like they’ve known me at all. When I don’t believe they ever even did. Half the time I wonder what I even doing there to begin with. How did I know this people? They’ve not changed at all and yet I feel like I have changed in every way possible.

I am definitely not the same person I was. I’ve gotten rid of all the boil, the scars, the rotting flesh and I am re-emerging as a new person…Possibly even a Golden Goddess?

A letter to you, to know that I made it through

So I made it through today and here I am sure that everyone expected me to fall. I am so proud of myself today, I thought that I was going to fall as well. Even with everything wrong and hard that is going on around me, I made it through. I made it through and I did not have to pretend once. Every single smile was real, every joke I made, everything was real.

It would have been your birthday today and I hope that it was one you enjoyed and hopefully with this event may you grow and learn even more about all the wonders with this world, instead of the stagnant life of getting drunk every day. We will never be friends, we are just two completely different people, but I still want the very best for you. I will not forget what you did to me and I don’t think I should.

My heart is healing and I have another to thank for that, he is so honest. It is something that I can honestly say that I’ve never experienced, he keeps me safe but doesn’t play around. If he doesn’t like something he tells me, and he expects the same from me. I feel safe, truly safe.