Share Your World, Nov Wk 4, 2018

Share Your World

Share Your World, Nov 26th 2018

If your five year old self woke up in your current body, what would happen, what would you say?

I think, in all honesty, I would probably become very scared and want my Mum or my Dad. I think I would just be crying. I think that it would have completely freaked me out.

What is a relationship deal breaker for you?  Whether you are talking about a romantic one, a friendship or a related to sort of relationship?

If your cruel, especially for no reason. By cruel I mean if your homophobic, racists and you threaten people. If you harm animals or have no problems with animals that are tortured. (That one makes me suspicious of everyone though)

Is there something out there, a thought, an idea, a current event, or a fear that you find deeply unsettling?

Trump…Everything that Trump embodies.

And one that is a bit whimsical:

There are some songs out there, mainly Celtic, where no matter where I am I feel the need to dance and become an Elf,lol…Sometimes on the bus, especially if I’m already in a good mood. I have been known to start swaying on the bus to the music. If I could live in the world of JRR Tolkien, I would. Once a year I try and watch all the films, but by myself.

Lord Of The Rings My Edit GIF - Find & Share on GIPHY

If you were arrested with no explanation, what would your friends and family assume you had done?

I’m not sure to be honest. They will probably think I’ve done something stupid, but nothing serious.

Finally

What were you grateful for this week?  Something that brought some joy into your world?

It has been such a pleasant week, not dramas. I’ve been really interesting conversations all week too, they’ve been very pleasant. Saturday and the whole burning ceremony was SO therapeutic. Exactly what the Doctor ordered. I think burning the words did, indeed, help.

I AM NOT A HORRIBLE PERSON!

Game Of Thrones Khaleesi GIF - Find & Share on GIPHY

Share Your World … October Week 3

Share Your World

Share Your World … October 16, 2017

If you had to move to a country besides the one you currently live in, where would you move and why? 

Do I really have to choose? Australia is doing actually pretty well at the moment, all things considering. Apart from that SSM vote thing -.- I have always wanted to visit Greece a lot, could I live there? Probably…Especially with all that food!

What color would you like your bedroom to be?

I would like a light colour. Something that reflects beautiful colours in the Summer and Spring, without making the room warm. Also not too light though, that it gets dirty really quickly.

What makes you Happy? Make a list of things in your life that bring you joy.

  • My dog Pippy
  • My partners cat
  • My partner
  • My family (some of them anyway).
  • Music
  • Spring
  • Funny YouTube Videos
  • Safari Live
  • A good cup of tea
  • A good cup of what my Mum and I call “a proper” cup of coffee…A coffee that isn’t instant.
  • A good cup of instant coffee.

What inspired you or what did you appreciate this past week?  Feel free to use a quote, a photo, a story, or even a combination. 

I had an interesting moment of clarity with an old “enemy” of mine this week. She was probably one of the worst bullies I have ever encountered. I dropped down to 43kg (or 94 pounds) because of her and her little cronies. She apparently had a partner who died of cancer. This week one of our mutual friends put out there that she is walking for a cause, one of those ones you can donate too. Most people just donate it and that’s it. Then there’s this girl and is she is going on and on about how she’s donating.

It just irritated me to no end and made me realised how much I just still don’t like her. Then I had a moment where I realised that I have never made someone feel like that. I don’t hurt people, I don’t donate and brag about it. I don’t need someone to die to make me realise how I should help people. She could donate a million dollars and I am still a better person that her.

In all honesty…

I was talking to my mum a couple of days ago and we were just talking about how which people know us really well and how much do people ‘think’ they know us. It started me thinking. I’m always pleasant to people, people always comment on how kind I am and how patient I always seem to be. I know I have a guard though and I know that I have a real hard time telling people…well…a lot really.

It’s not as though I wouldn’t open up, if someone actually ask me. If someone asked me a question about myself, I would tell them, but I just can’t willingly tell you about me.

It made me think about who are we really honesty with, who truly knows us…All of us. If I was to die tonight, who would be shocked to discover things about me, have I said all that I wanted to say?

What about yourselves? Do you think people know everything there is too know about you? 

Please, stay single

There are these people that I know who clearly fooling around with each other behind their partners back. I have lost respect for these people over time and I just have very little to do with them anymore. The whole group is just a mess.

It doesn’t just bug me because they are cheating with each other, but it’s also because one of them was single when they met the other originally. They had just gotten out of an engagement and at the time the other person was married. Yet, even though there were obvious feelings between the two: Person A didn’t even leave their marriage until their partner got an amazing job ‘overseas’ and they just didn’t want to put the effort in. Which is when I really started to lose respect since their partner had given up so much to begin with. It was SUCH a cop out.

Person B then started dating nearly all of Person’s A closest friend while, at least, emotionally cheating on them all with Person A and got engaged to one of them. Then conveniently Person A marriage split up and Person B with their fiance…Coincidence.

STOP USING PEOPLE! NO ONE DESERVES THAT!

usins

I have a hard time not saying anything because I’m one of those people who hates injustice of any type. Which means the best that I feel like I can do is just stay away since no one else in the group seem to honestly care and they even called Perfect B “Perfect” and that they could never think of an insult good enough. So it continues.

What the actual…

What this all comes down for me is to tell people. Please, for the love of god, don’t date someone because you can’t be with the person you want too be with. Please don’t date someone because you’re lonely and you don’t think you can’t do any better…You partner doesn’t deserve that. When you start to date someone, please make sure this is what you really want. You may not be sure that you even want to date, but make sure you don’t drag someone else through it. This world is so small, they are plenty of people out there for you.

Dating someone else because you are alone or because you want to be with someone else is not a strong thing and it’s not what a strong person does….Or a good person and definitely not what “perfect” people do either. You know why? A strong and a good person knows that they are okay by themselves. They know that they are okay being alone and that they believe they will find someone, they don’t need to use anyone else. They also know the love they are getting from their family and friends is enough, or the love they have for themselves IS enough. (If it isn’t, maybe look into that…That’s a post for another day though!).

On some level I actually get it, for some people it is very hard to think of others and other people, and seeing from their point of view. Unless they are actually treated this way themselves. They they just don’t care enough to get it. Too me, personally, it also speaks on a level of having no heart and being some kind of a sociopath as well. There’s no heart or kindness to use another human being in such a way. I think there is something off about people who do that, especially people who repeatedly do it.

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!lol…Love yourself and each other ❤

Invisibility

I find this hard to explain because I consider myself to have a mild form of depression. This isn’t completely out of the realms of fantasy, since most of my Dads side of the family seem to suffer from it. The only thing is mine comes in waves if that makes sense? I’ll be upset for 30 minutes and then I’m okay again, or I use one of my coping mechanisms and I’m fine. Whereas others I know the low will go on for hours and that’s why I keep a lot of what I go through to myself. This is the “platform” that I have used to be honest and say for the first time to say publicly and honestly “I suffer from depression”.

Some of my coping tools are to just listen to a style of music depending on the type of mood I’m in, sometimes all that can through to my mind is to listen to some heavy metal music. Watching a comedy television show, I can only watch comedy through that time. How can I help others if I can’t be honest with them?

In Australia we also have this wonderful company called “Beyond Blue” (http://www.beyondblue.org.au/) If you are ever feeling down please look through this site, or if someone you know suffers from depression please read this site!

rebel circus

Why?

I think that there are a lot of questions we ask ourselves over the years, but one that has been making me really mad and upset lately is “Why did it take 30 years to meet someone who respects me, why did the others hurt me, what did I ever do to them?”.

It has really been playing on my mind at the moment and the ironic thing is it’s all because I’ve met someone who actual treats me with respect and dignity and I don’t get why it seems to have been so easy for him, but not for a single one of the others. Why have I been with people who treat everyone else BUT me with respect? Why?

Why have they felt it was okay to back-stab and betray me? Not only that, but I have only ever received an apology from one ex…What did I ever do to these guys?

A letter to you, to know that I made it through

So I made it through today and here I am sure that everyone expected me to fall. I am so proud of myself today, I thought that I was going to fall as well. Even with everything wrong and hard that is going on around me, I made it through. I made it through and I did not have to pretend once. Every single smile was real, every joke I made, everything was real.

It would have been your birthday today and I hope that it was one you enjoyed and hopefully with this event may you grow and learn even more about all the wonders with this world, instead of the stagnant life of getting drunk every day. We will never be friends, we are just two completely different people, but I still want the very best for you. I will not forget what you did to me and I don’t think I should.

My heart is healing and I have another to thank for that, he is so honest. It is something that I can honestly say that I’ve never experienced, he keeps me safe but doesn’t play around. If he doesn’t like something he tells me, and he expects the same from me. I feel safe, truly safe.

Perfection

Came home from the whole family Christmas do, full as you like with food…Most I have ever eaten ever at Christmas, I kid you not! Having a shower and feeling like I can finally wash the last couple of crazy days off of me for another year (until we have to clean up tomorrow of course). Just thinking as you do in a shower about the whole year in general and it occurred to me.

I never wanted the “perfect” boyfriend I wanted a real one. When I’d tell people how you’d changed in that one week after we broke up and how I felt like I had never known you at all. All people would say to me was “Aww, but he was trying to impress you”…But I never wanted to be impressed, I just wanted you to be real with me…How can you have never have gotten that? When I think about it now I have started to realise that I probably never knew the real you. I’m right, I never did know the real you…Not for one single second the entire time.

I don’t hate you any-more and I don’t miss you either. Quiet honestly it doesn’t matter whether your around or not any-more. I don’t really think about you, because the person I cared about, was never real. It feels like I was in some sort of Disney movie and you turned into my “Hans” of Frozen. Whatever happened between us and whatever we may have “gone through” together feels like some sort of horrible romance comedy now. None of it feels like it was ever real.

I guess the reason that I’m writing this is because I need to say goodbye. I have absolutely no idea why you decided to treat me the way that you did, but you did and I have to live with that, but I am not going to make this one chapter my whole book. I have a feeling that this may be one of those “Choose your own adventure” type chapters. Where I can have many different scenarios to choose from, but the ultimate ending is still the same.