Honesty Time

• I don’t care about other people’s gametes. I’m sorry, if it shocks anyone that I care about the individual, rather than their gametes, lol
• You’re not special if you’ve had no issues with gay people, most people don’t. That’s why most people have no clue as to why others are so upset about the LGBTQIA community. Sorry, not special dear.
• When I see someone say that they’re attracted to someone’s sex, no you’re not, lol. None of us are, we’re attracted to looks, to Pheromone’s, to someone’s personality. When you first meet someone, you don’t even know what their sex even is, lol.
• When I see someone say “why don’t trans women date each other then”. Well, one, that’s not how it works. Two, they do, but it is rare. There’s not one way to date when you’re trans, just like when you’re cis.
• You can also smile, breathe and chat while you wear a mask.
• Honestly what kind of person keeps telling other’s that you cannot breath in a mask.
• If I ever see any of you refer to Biden as “Grandpa Biden” I am coming for you. Except of course, if you’re talking about Right Wing Republicans.
• Before you react to someone, take some time to think about it.
• I am not an Einstein, but at least I am aware of it.
• I am over hearing about what Trump thinks. He has just always been terrible.

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Admit It

… There are people in your life, who tell YOU “Oh, they mean well, so we have to excuse their behaviour” But then they turn around and you realise, they don’t do what they tell you too do.

I have family members who nobody really likes, but they’re fun at parties. Over the last couple of years, they’ve gotten slowly steadily worse and worse with their views. I have written about them a couple of times. They didn’t invite me to a birthday, then thought everyone was saying no, because they hadn’t invited me. And still wouldn’t let me invite any of my friends. They’re racists, anti-vaxers who say “so what” if someone’s a Doctor.

Generally, not good people. But you know “They mean well” so I can’t cause problems (by the way, they do not mean well. They’re just in their own home and own bubble).

I realised the other day, that my brother, despite all his “Oh they’re not that bad”, has yet to to introduce them to his partner. Who is freaking lovely as, because he doesn’t want to introduce his partner, in case they embarrass him. Yet, the audacity to tell me “they’re not that bad”.

Seriously, why do people keep doing this too me? lol.

It’s like people keep expecting me to put up with everyone, so they don’t have to take care of everyone when they’re old and frail, which by the way, they are totally going to have too. I ain’t taking care of people who’ve been bullying and abusing me my whole life. There’s a lot of people our there who have a lot of making up to do to me, before I take care of them.

Take my Dad, as an example. I nearly sent a text to him, telling him exactly how I felt. My brother told me not too, in case I wanted to repair the relationship. Which, maybe at some point I would. At this point, I don’t care either way. I’ve had enough. Then I realised a few days after. You know what? I would be willingly to bet, my brother doesn’t want the responsibility of feeling like he has to look after our Dad. If our father doesn’t kill himself first with his drinking.

Share Your World, Nov Wk 4, 2018

Share Your World, Nov 26th 2018

If your five year old self woke up in your current body, what would happen, what would you say?

I think, in all honesty, I would probably become very scared and want my Mum or my Dad. I think I would just be crying. I think that it would have completely freaked me out.

What is a relationship deal breaker for you?  Whether you are talking about a romantic one, a friendship or a related to sort of relationship?

If your cruel, especially for no reason. By cruel I mean if your homophobic, racists and you threaten people. If you harm animals or have no problems with animals that are tortured. (That one makes me suspicious of everyone though)

Is there something out there, a thought, an idea, a current event, or a fear that you find deeply unsettling?

Trump…Everything that Trump embodies.

And one that is a bit whimsical:

There are some songs out there, mainly Celtic, where no matter where I am I feel the need to dance and become an Elf,lol…Sometimes on the bus, especially if I’m already in a good mood. I have been known to start swaying on the bus to the music. If I could live in the world of JRR Tolkien, I would. Once a year I try and watch all the films, but by myself.

If you were arrested with no explanation, what would your friends and family assume you had done?

I’m not sure to be honest. They will probably think I’ve done something stupid, but nothing serious.

Finally

What were you grateful for this week?  Something that brought some joy into your world?

It has been such a pleasant week, not dramas. I’ve been really interesting conversations all week too, they’ve been very pleasant. Saturday and the whole burning ceremony was SO therapeutic. Exactly what the Doctor ordered. I think burning the words did, indeed, help.

I AM NOT A HORRIBLE PERSON!

New Years Truth!

via Jay Z Quote — Just A Small Town Girl…

I am absolutely love this quote! It is something that I believe to be very true! It’s a good note to go out on!

Share Your World … October Week 3

Share Your World … October 16, 2017

If you had to move to a country besides the one you currently live in, where would you move and why? 

Do I really have to choose? Australia is doing actually pretty well at the moment, all things considering. Apart from that SSM vote thing -.- I have always wanted to visit Greece a lot, could I live there? Probably…Especially with all that food!

What color would you like your bedroom to be?

I would like a light colour. Something that reflects beautiful colours in the Summer and Spring, without making the room warm. Also not too light though, that it gets dirty really quickly.

What makes you Happy? Make a list of things in your life that bring you joy.

• My dog Pippy
• My partners cat
• My partner
• My family (some of them anyway).
• Music
• Spring
• Funny YouTube Videos
• Safari Live
• A good cup of tea
• A good cup of what my Mum and I call “a proper” cup of coffee…A coffee that isn’t instant.
• A good cup of instant coffee.

What inspired you or what did you appreciate this past week?  Feel free to use a quote, a photo, a story, or even a combination. 

I had an interesting moment of clarity with an old “enemy” of mine this week. She was probably one of the worst bullies I have ever encountered. I dropped down to 43kg (or 94 pounds) because of her and her little cronies. She apparently had a partner who died of cancer. This week one of our mutual friends put out there that she is walking for a cause, one of those ones you can donate too. Most people just donate it and that’s it. Then there’s this girl and is she is going on and on about how she’s donating.

It just irritated me to no end and made me realised how much I just still don’t like her. Then I had a moment where I realised that I have never made someone feel like that. I don’t hurt people, I don’t donate and brag about it. I don’t need someone to die to make me realise how I should help people. She could donate a million dollars and I am still a better person that her.

In all honesty…

I was talking to my mum a couple of days ago and we were just talking about how which people know us really well and how much do people ‘think’ they know us. It started me thinking. I’m always pleasant to people, people always comment on how kind I am and how patient I always seem to be. I know I have a guard though and I know that I have a real hard time telling people…well…a lot really.

It’s not as though I wouldn’t open up, if someone actually ask me. If someone asked me a question about myself, I would tell them, but I just can’t willingly tell you about me.

It made me think about who are we really honesty with, who truly knows us…All of us. If I was to die tonight, who would be shocked to discover things about me, have I said all that I wanted to say?

What about yourselves? Do you think people know everything there is too know about you? 

Please, stay single

There are these people that I know who clearly fooling around with each other behind their partners back. I have lost respect for these people over time and I just have very little to do with them anymore. The whole group is just a mess.

It doesn’t just bug me because they are cheating with each other, but it’s also because one of them was single when they met the other originally. They had just gotten out of an engagement and at the time the other person was married. Yet, even though there were obvious feelings between the two: Person A didn’t even leave their marriage until their partner got an amazing job ‘overseas’ and they just didn’t want to put the effort in. Which is when I really started to lose respect since their partner had given up so much to begin with. It was SUCH a cop out.

Person B then started dating nearly all of Person’s A closest friend while, at least, emotionally cheating on them all with Person A and got engaged to one of them. Then conveniently Person A marriage split up and Person B with their fiance…Coincidence.

STOP USING PEOPLE! NO ONE DESERVES THAT!

I have a hard time not saying anything because I’m one of those people who hates injustice of any type. Which means the best that I feel like I can do is just stay away since no one else in the group seem to honestly care and they even called Perfect B “Perfect” and that they could never think of an insult good enough. So it continues.

What the actual…

What this all comes down for me is to tell people. Please, for the love of god, don’t date someone because you can’t be with the person you want too be with. Please don’t date someone because you’re lonely and you don’t think you can’t do any better…You partner doesn’t deserve that. When you start to date someone, please make sure this is what you really want. You may not be sure that you even want to date, but make sure you don’t drag someone else through it. This world is so small, they are plenty of people out there for you.

Dating someone else because you are alone or because you want to be with someone else is not a strong thing and it’s not what a strong person does….Or a good person and definitely not what “perfect” people do either. You know why? A strong and a good person knows that they are okay by themselves. They know that they are okay being alone and that they believe they will find someone, they don’t need to use anyone else. They also know the love they are getting from their family and friends is enough, or the love they have for themselves IS enough. (If it isn’t, maybe look into that…That’s a post for another day though!).

On some level I actually get it, for some people it is very hard to think of others and other people, and seeing from their point of view. Unless they are actually treated this way themselves. They they just don’t care enough to get it. Too me, personally, it also speaks on a level of having no heart and being some kind of a sociopath as well. There’s no heart or kindness to use another human being in such a way. I think there is something off about people who do that, especially people who repeatedly do it.

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!lol…Love yourself and each other ❤

Lying by Adrienne Rich

Continuing with my theme from Monday: The “Art” of Lying

Invisibility

I find this hard to explain because I consider myself to have a mild form of depression. This isn’t completely out of the realms of fantasy, since most of my Dads side of the family seem to suffer from it. The only thing is mine comes in waves if that makes sense? I’ll be upset for 30 minutes and then I’m okay again, or I use one of my coping mechanisms and I’m fine. Whereas others I know the low will go on for hours and that’s why I keep a lot of what I go through to myself. This is the “platform” that I have used to be honest and say for the first time to say publicly and honestly “I suffer from depression”.

Some of my coping tools are to just listen to a style of music depending on the type of mood I’m in, sometimes all that can through to my mind is to listen to some heavy metal music. Watching a comedy television show, I can only watch comedy through that time. How can I help others if I can’t be honest with them?

In Australia we also have this wonderful company called “Beyond Blue” (http://www.beyondblue.org.au/) If you are ever feeling down please look through this site, or if someone you know suffers from depression please read this site!

Why?

I think that there are a lot of questions we ask ourselves over the years, but one that has been making me really mad and upset lately is “Why did it take 30 years to meet someone who respects me, why did the others hurt me, what did I ever do to them?”.

It has really been playing on my mind at the moment and the ironic thing is it’s all because I’ve met someone who actual treats me with respect and dignity and I don’t get why it seems to have been so easy for him, but not for a single one of the others. Why have I been with people who treat everyone else BUT me with respect? Why?

Why have they felt it was okay to back-stab and betray me? Not only that, but I have only ever received an apology from one ex…What did I ever do to these guys?