Share Your World…28/09/20

Share Your World…9-28-2020

Questions:

Where do you feel most at home?  Please be more specific than “at home, doh” please. It could be a room in your home, a person, a location…    

I wish I hadn’t said anything now!lol…However, I was thinking about this question a lot. I think that where I feel most at home, where ever my heart feels the safest. See, I have my anxiety attacks when I feel uncomfortable or unsafe. So when I don’t feel like I’m about to have a heart attack, I must feel safe there.

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Would you rather ride a bike, ride a horse, or drive a car?   

Well I’m scared of horses, and I’m still learning to drive. Riding a bike, would also help to get me healthier =D

What song would you sing on “Karoke Night” (if you were forced to do so)?    

I don’t really have a “song”. I just like to drink and then sing to anything. I do seem to sing to Bon Jovi at lot though. Not well, mind you,lol

University or life experience, which do you feel best prepares you for life?  

Probably life itself. While University is great if you want to become say a teacher, or a doctor, or part of a trade. How many times have we seen though, people with degrees or doctorates coming from say Harvard or Yale, just not really actually good with people.

IT’S AN ATTITUDE – GRATITUDE!  (Participation Always Optional Of Course)

What are you grateful for?

gratitudechanges

Too be able to breath, and know I’ve got those close.

World Heart Day

Now, this one is a bit personal to me, a bit close to my heart, if you so will. As I’m sure that a lot of it may be to you as well.

This year the World Heart Foundation is concentrating on irradiating Covid19. I am assuming that you are aware that we don’t know, yet, the long term affects of Covid19. When it comes to the heart though, we are already seeing big problems, especially those with underlying heart and lung issues.

My family, we don’t have cancer issues. We have heart ones. High cholesterol, like me, high blood pressure (not like me). My Dad has a triple bypass a couple of years ago, originally supposed to be only a double! We’ve all got high cholesterol. Both my great grandparents on my Mum’s side, just dropped one day. My great grandmother was making a cup of tea!

Look up the #UseHeart hashtag to look up more information.

If you want to take good care of your heart, do as I do, do everything in moderation…And “avoid” getting anxiety…Because that’s my shit breaker,lol…Every time I have an anxiety attack, I swear I have to really fight my brain going into “I’m having a heart attack” vibe.

Ego vs Common Sense

Warning the video is nearly two hours…So grab that cup of tea…Get comfortable…It’ll be worth it!

2.38M subscribers

Produced by Jenny May Finn (Instagram: @jennymayfinn)

I started to write this post, after signing into the YouTube and seeing all those beauty “influencer’s” in ANOTHER drama. I had watched the above video first and then that came up. All I could think of was what I had seen with Tolle and Brand and all I could think of was, what was the point again of this influencer’s? None of them are influencing in a positive way. Although not everyone is a Tolle, these “influencer’s” are nothing about ego, they’re not even trying.

 

Playlist of my Heart <3

So I heard one song this week and all these memories came flooding back. Then I don’t know if you know, but then on the side of YouTube playlists, all the songs that relate to that song were on there too.

So I’ve posted a few songs/videos that even now it brings back memories and feelings and maybe you’ll feel something too ❤

Nickelback – Far Away (They were my always go to group mid to late 00’s)…I was in a long distance relationship ❤ We are still friends ❤

Hinder – Better Than Me (Although hoping they weren’t doing crack. I always hoped that at least one of my ex’s felt like this…I doubt it,lol…But I had always hoped,lol)

Red Jumpsuit Apparatus – Your Guardian Angel

Michelle Branch – Goodbye to you – This one used to kill me. It was my LDR had finally broken up and I was being hated on by these two girls … and the boys liked them better than me…This song killed me because I knew it was true. I’ve played it with every single break up, including some old friends from a few years ago. When I knew in my heart the friendships were over…NOT…I repeat … NOT the “mean girls”.

Dixie Chicks – Not Ready to Make Nice…Oh my goodness…This song = an awesome … F^ck Yeah! and F^ck of Haters!

Jewel – Hands – Mainly, my hands are tiny…Seriously small,lol…But I also love the message behind, about no matter how small your hands are…Reach out.

Evanescence – My Immortal … I mean, if you didn’t like the song and this band…Were you truly into 90’s music?

Kelly Clarkson – Because of You

Hilary Duff – Come Clean…For the longest time I didn’t realise this song was a opening credit for a very popular 00’s show! I just loved it.

Kelly Clarkson – Breakaway … This was just me…and a good song to end on…Still have this song on my iPod,lol

30 Day Song Challenge

*Guess who forgot February finished on the 28th*

30 Day Song Challenge

Day 27 – A song that breaks your heart: Linkin Park – Numb  – I have always loved this song and could totally relate to it, but now I can barely listen to it now ❤ RIP Chester ❤

Day 28 – A song by an artist whose voice you love: Hozier – Take Me To Church

He’s Irish too

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Day 29 – A song you remember from your childhood: Janet Jackson – Rhythm Nation (1989)

Day 30 – A song that reminds you of yourself: Little Mix – Wings *always loved these girls*

You ARE Enough – Mandy Hale Days 21 – 30

Mandy Hale – You are Enough 30 day challenge

Day 22: In Chapter Sixteen, I discuss “Why We Cling to People Who Don’t Love Us.” Talk about a time when you clung to someone who didn’t love you, why you think you had such a hard time letting go, and how you finally tapped into your inner “enough-ness” to walk away.

As I have mentioned before, when my Grandfather passed away, I really didn’t like the guy I was dating at the time. When my Pa died I realised one of two things 1)He’s a coward and 2) I think unless I cheated on him, he was never going to love me. I know why now I still didn’t want to break up. I was worried about losing anyone else, literally anyone else. So I put up with a lot, but in the end, I know that I was making problems. Though it honestly, it wasn’t that hard. My ex’s room mate was such a bully towards me, which is why initially I didn’t leave my ex, because it was his room mate, not him, and his room mate is SO easy to rile up. I still think they slept together.

There was a definite me being a third wheel in my own relationship deal.

The day we broke up, I had just done clothes washing. Their clothes dryer, you had to clean out a filter, his room mate had been washing before and did NOT clean it out, laziest person ever! So I come along, clean it out, put my clothes in, didn’t put the washing on, I went off to do a couple of other things. He comes in and starts going off his top, never seen such an over reaction, not only did my ex not stick up for me over a ridiculous over reactions over his room mates not cleaning up after himself. When my ex came into his bedroom, I made a joke “Has the Princess calm down yet?” and he STORMED OUT! Then I go to work, on my way back I ring to see if they want anything and my “boyfriend” says to me “You’re only welcomed back if you don’t cause trouble”. We broke up that day. I actually nearly didn’t go back, I hang up on him and I was shaking, I was SO angry. He still thinks my phone stopped working. I also pretended to cry when we broke up.

Day 23: Today is my 40th birthday! Write about a milestone or significant birthday.

I’d have to say it was my 30th, not only was it a fantastic party. I had a “Fantasy Theme: Moulin Fantasy”. Dress up as your favourite character, but Moulin Rouge theme. Things really started to change for me when I turned 30 though. Finally got sick of my ex’s back stabbing me within 24 hours of us breaking up, went off. Found a job, not my dream job, but I adore the people who work there. Also the year that I met my current partner, and we still haven’t had a fight! It’s also the year though, that my health started to deteriorate. Ironically it was my ex that caused it, but that’s a story for another day!

Day 24: In Chapter Seventeen, I talk about “Moving On,” metaphorically and literally. Discuss a time when you found the courage to move on from a toxic situation, relationship, or environment.

As I’ve mentioned before, my now ex-friend actually blocked me and accused me of being this horrible human being. Although I had wanted too stopped being friends with them. There was so much relief after all that. Who would have thought saying “I don’t want to be treated like s^!t anymore” Got rid of the people who were treating me like s^!t”. Although only one of them blocked me, the other accused me of being passive aggressive, which was hilarious, since that’s what she has been doing herself. The other… the other didn’t notice what had happened for at least two weeks. Yet she apparently still keeps posting about how she may be quiet, but she’s observant -.- That should tell you everything! They are like those “Christians” who are not actually that Christian.

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Day 25: In Chapter Eighteen, I become a “Church Chaser”!  Share your own story of faith. Your beliefs, your journey to find a church or place of worship, and how believing in a higher power has impacted your life.

I am not really religious, I am definitely more agnostic than anything else. Spiritual, not religious. It gives me an incredible feeling to find out more about the religions. I also find sometimes, people will use their Religion to discriminate. It’s very much like Chinese Whispers. I definitely feel like there are things that we don’t understand about out there, and all those “gut moments”.

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Day 26: In Chapter Nineteen, I share the story of a dear friend who took her own life. Talk about how suicide has touched your life or the life of someone dear to you.

I have not had any really close to me “suffered” from suicide. I know of people close to me. The sad thing is, I think they use it at lot for their own bad behaviour. I think she loved her father, but that doesn’t stop her from having NPD. There is someone who I haven’t actually met, but she is dear too me (online buddy) and I think she recently lost her brother suddenly, but I didn’t want to indulge to deep, unless she was okay with it.

Day 27: In Chapter Twenty, I talk about how I finally learned to “Let It Be.” Talk about what these three words mean to you. What does “letting it be” look like? How do you practice just “letting it be”?

“Let it Be” comes to me, in a song. Honestly when I hear “Let It Be” and what honestly it means to me, is “The Beatles” song “Let It Be”.

Day 28: Also in Chapter Twenty, I talk about what my own “Happy Ending” looks like now, after everything I’ve learned. What does YOUR Happy Ending look like? In love and in life?

I’d love to be married to my best friend, I am so lame! I just want all the usual stuff, marriage, a couple of babies. I would love to have my own little business, enough so I can live comfortably. I just want everyone I love to be happy and healthy, that’s it. I would love to be able to make enough to take care about everybody.

Day 29: In the epilogue, I talk about how the journey to “enough-ness” is never complete. Talk about your own journey to enough-ness, and how you’ve learned to embrace who you are, flaws and all.

Over the last couple of years, I have stopped worrying so much. It still hurts when I think someone wants to disappear from my life (but ironically, a lot of people I’ve lost. I was the one that introduced them to my friends that still are there). I’ve been having to let that go a whole lot, it’s too hard to keep worrying. I AM a good person, am I perfect? Most definitely not, but I also find that’s what gives me a step up. A lot of people want to do the whole social media “My life is perfect” and I am so not like that anymore,lol. I also find though a lot of people on here, are going through the same thing I am. It’s great, I think it’s helped me a lot, to embrace my flaws.

Day 30: The book is called, You Are Enough: Heartbreak, Healing, and Becoming Whole. Which one are you? Talk about which phase you’re in right now – heartbreak, healing, or becoming whole – and the biggest thing you’ve learned about yourself in this season.

Honestly, I am clearly in heartbreak. My dog hasn’t passed, but she’s definitely not going to be here for more years, like we thought. She’s 13 a Chihuahua and apart from a couple of ear infections, she’s never had any health issues. She’s wobbly and is sleeping a lot, but she’s eating, not pooping (which worries me a little). She has started to perk up again whenever someone heads to the front door. It’s hard. I know that’s not what this question relates too, but it’s all I can think about right now. Not only do I completely love her, but I’ve always called her my unofficial therapy dog.

Pippy Loo

The Heart Cries

I could not believe what I was seeing and reading.

These families being tear gassed, the pictures of those children crying.

I had to sign off on Twitter yesterday…All these MAGA “Christians” How can they SEE these pictures of children running from the tear gas and say such horrible things? HOW! I get the delusion…How can they say the children deserve this? The parents are using them for shields? They knew they were coming! How are the parents supposed to know they were going to get tear gassed! Who’d think America would do that?

Jesus

Thank you for standing

I stand in solidarity with Christine Blasey Ford.

I have to say that it has been really good to not only see women with these statements, but it brings tears to my eyes to see men standing with her as well. I think things ARE changing for the better. Politics is always going to be a messy business and people in power to…Too see the every day man though, stand with Dr Ford…It’s makes the heart grow and grow and grow…

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People REALLY have to stop thinking and saying “Well that’s not how I reacted, that’s not what I did…So you can’t possibly be telling the truth” Not everybody is you! It’s not always about you #IStandWithChristineFord