You know I’ve been thinking a lot, dangerous, I know…Hahahaha!
I just wanted to write a public thank you to letter to some ex-friends of mine.
Without them doing, doing what they did. I don’t think I would have ever found the voice I am gaining right now. Before I stopped being friends with them “officially”, I was trying to figure out I could get out of a group that I realised hadn’t grown up since high school, and was…probably still is…Extremely toxic.
I didn’t actually end the friendship myself, they did that. I wrote a note the year I had a really big panic attack, on New Years. Saying what I had been through, where I was. How I needed to get out, how I didn’t want to be left behind anymore. Then a couple of days after that I actually checked my Facebook, “Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh, the accusations!” How it was me who had been treating people horribly, they didn’t like the way I had treated them…And the block…Because of my course my ONLY question would have been “WTF ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?”.
Since then, the ONLY regret I’ve had in life was not letting go earlier on. Sitting there knowing full well what one particular girl was trying to do. Regretting, not ending the friendships when I actually wanted too.
Now, when the fight that happened, happened. I didn’t immediately want to end the friendships then. It was about a year later, when I realised, everything that they accused of being the “problem”. They didn’t actually want to try and fix those problems. When the fight first happened, it made me go…
Wow, how had I not seen this toxicity, until now?
Since that regretful time, I have found that I don’t like wasting time not telling people anymore where I stand with them.