Jacksonville

I am sure by now that everybody has heard of the Jacksonville Mass Shooting and why the shooter…shoot…

I love gaming, it has helped me so much when it comes to my anxiety and trying not to think about it. It helps me get lost for hours and hours till I have forgotten why I was anxious in the first place.

So, what is going on?

When it became apparent why the shooter was upset. The first reaction to a lot of (mainly white men) were them getting triggered SO easily, like it’s not normal to get upset by comments that SHOULDN’T be about them. Mass Shooters are mainly men! There’s clearly an issue there. Women are gamer’s and suffer from mental health. Yet we’re not mass shooting people. It’s time men start asking their friends what the heck is going on. We cant solve it for them, because we are not men and we don’t know why they’re doing this. I know emotions are scary, but they gotta do it.

It’s like the whole #notallmen…We know it’s not all men. However, there are clearly issues there. Just like I am able to sit there and say although I suffer from mental health. I don’t get upset when someone tries accuse me of being a horrible being, because I know I am not like that. HOWEVER, even if the people who have hated on me this year wanted my help, I would help, because their issues are not about me.

I hate to bring this up again…When my now ex friend accused me of all this stuff, I was shocked, not angry, because I KNOW that is not me. I had no reason to be angry, because everything she accused me of, I had not done and it was not me. It was all her.

Which means I don’t really understand why these guys are concentrating on being accused of something, that they are not being accused of. Rather than going “There’s a problem here”. Getting upset by something that isn’t about you, is not good either. My brother is really witty and very funny, and he makes fun of people all the time, myself especially,lol. Yet, what he says doesn’t make me upset. A lot of the time, it’s true!

Don’t Worry be Happy

A couple of weeks ago I had the weirdest day I had had in such a long time. I was going for my L’s Theory test and the first thing that happened was I bumped into someone from high school and we had a chat about my ex friends from high school and that situation. Then I went and did the test and went across the road to the local mall and walked pass this girl that has never liked me and she recently unfriended me on Facebook. (I don’t know when she did it, but we both got tagged in something and that’s when I realised, because I don’t go to her page) Since I don’t have an issue with her, I smiled and she gave me the coldest shoulder (and no smile) I have ever received.

I had to laugh and shake my head…It’s ridiculous!

I’ve always had this feeling that she’s thought that there’s some sort of competition between us…and I just genuinely do not give a…

Jurassic Park Deal With It GIF - Find & Share on GIPHY

I don’t even understand it because all the guys in this group love her. She’s done these horrible things and they still love her, so that’s them, not me. I don’t like how she’s treated people (myself included) but it’s not like they don’t know what she’s done. Maybe it’s because I don’t worship her or something like that? Generally I don’t do that for anyone, not even with celebrity. I’ve never understood that frame of mind.

Anyways, I digress,

I laughed and shook my head because it made me realise something. I don’t have time or the mental space to worry about people’s make believe problems anymore. How privileged she should feel that someone who doesn’t really care about her…Doesn’t care about her, but everyone else still loves her…I would LOVE to have those problems!

Funny Face Lol GIF - Find & Share on GIPHY

 

“Normal” – Trigger Warning

I’ve been wondering how to write this without feeling like I’m ignoring people’s problems. Oh! I will be talking about the recent suicides that have been occurring in the world of Hollywood…

I personally haven’t been reading too much into. I try to skip pass the articles if I can. At the moment, although I am not suicidal. Ever since I’ve had my anxiety attack, I’ve been finding that I am more…I guess,paranoid, about my health. If I hear something, I am convinced that I’ve got it.

The frustrating thing I am actually starting to feel “normal” again…Changed, but normal and feeling more like myself only very recently.  The funny thing was I only started to realise it a couple of days ago. I was just doing your average things and I realise how I hadn’t felt for a little while, it’s kind of starting to be forgotten about. Although I doubt it’ll truly be ever “forgotten”.

I just don’t like hearing about other people’s suicide. I’m here to help stop that, but I’m still having trouble with hearing about it, especially when it is just EVERYWHERE! It’s like every second article or statement is about one of them.

April Goals

My birthday is in April, so I’m hoping to do a lot of fun goals…But I have to do some serious work too!

Sad Autumn GIF - Find & Share on GIPHY

(Seriously you would not it’s Autumn here at the moment…It’s 96.8 F today! = 36 C)

  • Find some low cholesterol recipes…I went to the doctors and my cholesterol is a bit high, so over the next month they want me to lower it. It has been amazing after that and looking at the actual packaging on food, how much sodium there is in everything! I need to sit down and look up/write some recipes.
  • I’ve decided that I’m going to have a “slumber pj movie night” for my birthday, it’s going to be held in the first weekend of May.
  • For my birthday I am going to look into having a “make your own smoothie” bar, since I can’t really drink. See how I can have movies and games at the same time.
  • Maybe…Maybe looking at hiring outdoor furniture for my partners house for my birthday…Maybe…
  • Look for a frame that will fit 4 A4 size pictures in…Maybe ask for one for my birthday,lol
  • Try Winter jeans/pants on, make sure that they still fit.
  • Too finish “Lord of Shadows” and write up a review

21 Daily Habits For A Better Life — Chief Health

*I definitely have to incorporate these things into my life!*

You are what you repeatedly do. Excellence then, is not an act, but a habit. Pick up habits that will have an impact on your life. There are many out there, but we’ve found 21 daily habits that are easy and valuable.

via 21 Daily Habits For A Better Life — Chief Health

Some advice

Be careful when you take anxiety medication, even when prescribed by a Doctor. Get all questions you want answered, think of questions to ask. So far I’ve been nauseous and then one night I woke up in a panic attack (of all things). It was so so scary! I have never been that bad before, I ended up going to the hospital on Saturday and I’ve been taking these different health medications since. Which seems to be working. I’ve started taking the original medication but have been cutting it in half.

Listen to your body!

October Health Goals

I think to start off this month of health goals I am definitely going to stick with having a cup of water every day and a piece of fruit at least three times a week. Just doing these two alone made me feel so much more better.

  • I’ve decided to change my meditations to my health goals, since it’s just as important to take care of my mental health. I want to increase my meditations to 3 times a week. Twice a week is fine, but I feel like I could better if I do it three times a week.
  • I’m also looking at getting my meditations onto my iPod, so I can listen too them when I’m on the bus or start getting anxious in public.
  • I need to do stretches again to make my legs strong again. I need to find an app or some kind of video I can do stretches too. I’ll be doing this three times a week once I find a suitable exercise.
  • I’ll also be keeping up with the Fitness Marshall, but switching up the songs.
  • I also want to find a lotion that will help give me less “blemishes”. I’m 33 and I still get blemishes all over my face!
  • At least twice a week I’ll will “go to sleep” between 11-11:30…Turn everything off, all lights, no t.v. playing in the background.
  • Start taking fish oil tablets every day.

Tick or not too Tick? September health goals

I really should have started my health goals at the end of September…But when your father have a major heart attack…It sort of makes you kick into gear!

My goals were:

  • Three pieces of fresh fruit a week

As well as with water I found this one shocking with how little fruit I was eating. I usually have some kind of salad at dinner, unless it spaghetti bolognese or something like that. Also like water though this was easy to do as well, instead of snacking on biscuits or chips when I’d get home, I’d have a piece of fruit instead. I just had to make sure that there was always some kind of fruit in the house. There were times when we didn’t have any fruit in the house, so I’d have to wait till the next day to go food shopping.

  • Once a week I will make a meal from scratch

Yeah, I knew this one was going to be a lot more difficult to do. This one never happened, but I am determined to make it so for the next month. Once a week…How difficult can that be? Right?

  • Three times a walk a 15 minute walk, at least. One at my partners house and two at my house.

This one has been a lot easier to do, the weather is becoming a lot more nicer here.

So this one I didn’t end up doing. I’ve been doing extra walking, but I do want to start doing this one as well. Especially as this time of year, all that good food that’s coming out.

  • Drink one cup of water a day. 

I shocked myself recently when I realised how little water I was actually drinking. The health benefits of drinking water are out of this world! This goal ended up being the easiest out of the lot and I thought it was going to be the hardest! I literally would get home from work and just have a glass. Those days I didn’t work, I end up having water before I drunk my coffee or tea, usually it would be before my second cup of the day. I was finding that once you were in the kitchen, preparing anything really, it was just so simple to fill a glass up. The biggest difference between the easiness of this one versus the fruit, water is pretty well everywhere. You don’t really have to “stock up” on it.

World Mental Health Day

As the title suggests, today is World Mental Health day today…So if you are not feeling well, please do not read any further. Sometimes I find that if you constantly talk about something, or its just there all the time. You can’t help but be affected by it.

Normally I make long posts at later time/date and I had originally had this posted for tomorrow as most of my readers are from overseas. However, I feel like this is such an important topic, I’d rather have this posted on the right date for both hemisphere’s.

So although today is a good day to get some information out there. One could understand why this day might actually be a really hard day for those with mental health issues.

10/10 World Mental Health Day (Australia)

So mental health affects people in different ways and people suffer from it in different extremes and have different ways of coping. We are only know starting to understand it, but still have a far way to go in treating it and having other people who don’t understand it. One side of my family have huge issues with it, even when they don’t admit it.

Mental Health over the years has always been seen as people only having things like schizophrenia, major paranoia, serve depression, and so on. Only in the last few years things like PTSD, people suffering from grief and loss, social anxieties, are now being seen as mental health issues. Situations where you or someone else may look fine on the outside, but inside you just feel extremely tired and like you want to give up.

Let me share my experiences with you

Love GIFs - Find & Share on GIPHY

I, myself have always had a slight depression. There were days where I just couldn’t stop feeling miserable and I wouldn’t eat and I just could not explain it. The last year or so and through certain incidents that ended up being not in my control, has now turned into anxieties. It’s been an interesting year because things that never affected me before, suddenly are. For example, when we have blackouts, in my mind I completely freak out now. The first half an hour or so, on the inside I am a wreck. I honestly feel like I will have a panic attack. It’s not until we get candles going or we start watching dvds on the laptops and sometimes that doesn’t happen until we’re really sleepy, so we don’t lose much batteries. I am just not okay. Sometimes I’ll have to look outside, where it’s still dark because you can still shadows outside, especially if the moon is well lit. So now I have a radio that can be turned on and off with batteries, as well as lights and fans. I’m looking to getting a portable dvd player, so I can trick my mind that all the lights off gives it an atmosphere.

I also now have a travel anxiety. Where I start to worry that I’m going to desperately need the bathroom while in a car or bus. This is my biggest issue at the moment, it’s been getting a little better, and I’ve had it for about a year now. I’ve been trying to avoid taking drugs and have been taking natural medicine, as well as meditation. I think I may need to take some anxiety pills when I travel on a plane next though. It’s usually alright if I can wind a window down and get some fresh air, but you can’t do that on a plane. Since my brother and my partners brother lives interstate, I can’t avoid it forever.

The other thing I have noticed though if that I far more more susceptible to my depression and that’s been the worst part. I’ve had more triggers this year alone and they’ve gotten, I don’t want to say darker, but I’ve had to fight a lot more this year to get myself happier again. I’ve also found myself on the borderline of a lot more panic attacks, which I’ve never really had before.

Cat GIFs - Find & Share on GIPHY

Now let me share things that have helped me.

  • Giving myself a break: Every now and then I will just take a day…two if I’m lucky…where I don’t have to travel or work or see anyone. It makes me feel normal again.
  • Natural medication: So far the natural medications I’ve been taking have been helping a lot. Even if they just settle my upset stomach. They are probably nowhere near as strong as actual anxiety medication, but they do work to help me calm, at least a little.
  • Funny videos: They just do, anything funny, or what I consider to be funny.
  • Do not drink coffee when you are in the middle of anxiety: I do not drink coffee nearly as much as I used too.
  • Playing games: I think concentrating on something else for an hour…or more…helps me have a different focus. When I first had my anxiety really badly, the only things that made me panic less was playing games. I’d realise after a few hours that I was fine. I had gotten through a couple of hours with no issues.

Please don’t feel like you have too, but myself and I am sure others would really appreciate any of you sharing any helpful information. Where you go, what you use, what you’ve found to be helpful. Any stories that you wish to share.