What a man, what a man, what a mighty good man

LONG POST INCOMING! Once I started I couldn’t stop!lol

I also feel like I need a disclaimer here: *I like guys, I really do, some of my favourite people in the whole wide world are guys. Sometimes I prefer them over other girls. They can be just so much more fun than women. With both genders though, there are people within BOTH genders who make it very difficult for the rest of us. This post is NOT a “guys are jerks” post. As a straight girl though, this is what I have come up against…a lot. This is from my perspective.

I had an incident a few years ago that every now and then comes up for me and it still irritates me SO much. For two main reasons:

  1. I was tagged in a quote I have never actually even said. I own who I date and I don’t think all guys are jerks because I’ve dated a couple of jerks. Some of ex’s are even nice people as well, and they are good people. We broke up because they love wasn’t there anymore, or it was just never there. A lot of my ex’s are very charismatic and since I’m a shy person, I found them hypnotic almost. You know that saying about opposites attract? Either way I have never said it.
  2. If you’re going to tag me in something publicly on Facebook, you could at least have the courtesy to have…I don’t know…An adult conversation with me about why I had a one night stand, not that it’s even actually your business. Especially after I’ve turned you down 3 times. I really don’t appreciate having strange guys attacking me. While, ironically, in the quote, you call yourself a “Good Guy”. For future reference a good guy would NEVER get his friends to bully you into dating him.

Also though, to tag me in a post saying that calls all the other guys I have dated are jerks, is not just an insult for me, but some of my ex’s as well. I am actually good friends with a couple of my ex’s. You are attacking good people, who are good friends of mine. So be careful.

Personally, I don’t know what exactly they were trying to achieve and I clearly made the RIGHT decision, by making a personal vow to myself to never date anyone from this group, even before this happened …

Clearly the best decision I have ever made for myself!

Every time this situation comes up for me though, or when I think about it. I get so annoyed about it because I’ve had, one too many times, been attacked by a “good guy” when they’ve actually been complete douchebags. It’s something I want to know, what makes these guys think they’re goods guys WHILE attacking girls/women, sometimes they don’t even know? If girls are not dating you for the “jocks” ever thought, it might just actually be you? Just like the girls who go after the “bad ones” … Especially when I see SO many guys fawning over “mean girls” and girls that are constantly cheating on them, or using them. I have lost guys as friends AFTER they have broken up with their ex’s, who constantly cheated on them, because they are allowing the girl to still use them…I didn’t want to see them get used anymore, and not find a good partner, and I lost them as friend…They always come back though,lol

It goes both ways…It always has…I don’t know if you’ve noticed…

human-world-disney

BUT

You are NOT going to get the person you want, by attacking them and getting your “friends” to gang up on them either. (That’s just a general world lesson too).

Now I am actually going to get to the topic…A long way to come!

What makes a good guy a good guy, or what makes a man to you?

Too some of my “good guy” friends they all have the same characteristics. Beard, play the same guys, same music, do the same activities, give themselves all Superhero nicknames…Pretty much all the same. They think along the lines more of “Well there are 20 other guys who are doing the same thing, so it must be alright” -.- In a small town that can be toxic!

Too me a “real man” has values, has a backbone that he sticks too. They don’t change their values according to which girl (or guy) they want to have sex with more. They will actually grab themselves by their family jewels and have a conversation with me. Rather than just attack me on Facebook in a quote I have never said.

Some of the BEST  and good men I know wear dresses

 They’ve had to fight and have had to be brave to come out, so they just “get it”. They get to be real, they get to just be themselves and never to lower themselves.

amelia-bloomheart

The “Good Guy” Syndrome

I usually don’t like writing/talking about this subject mainly because it brings up so many issues and problems and no one actually listening, just all fights. This is a major problem that a lot of girls face when they’re single. I’m not sure if being in a relationships means that I just don’t see it anymore, but I know it’s a huge problem.

Deciding to write this blog post come about when someone posted to me in a private message. The article comes from the website Distractify and I really had to share it with you.

The guy is shaming women who reject him and it backfires.

To summarise this article, a person (assuming he’s a guy here) writes an anonymous note about how ‘hard’ it is to be a good guy, opening doors and not getting thanked for it…blah, blah, blah…And the responses that come from this anon note. The reason I wanted to share it with you all was this one classic line from the backfire:

“Did Batman give up on Gotham because people weren’t thanking him for saving the city?”.

I can personally relate to this issue, I was actually shamed on Facebook because I didn’t want to date a “good guy” cause nothing says “I’m a good guy” like shaming someone because they rejected you…three times…*insert sarcasm* Being shamed publicly on Facebook completely made me rethink and made me realised how wrong I was when I saw that if I didn’t do what this guy wanted me to, he’d get his friends and they’d just humiliate me…I wasn’t happy with my choice of not dating this guy at all*end of sarcasm*

I did learn from this situation…Make a game out of it ladies (and guys if this happens to as well). What I used to do was with the last guy I was with  and when he would do the cliche “good guy things”. For example, having to make a comment on any girls picture asking “where the good guys are”…Everyone takes a shot/drink.

Guys you need ask yourself two questions, if you need to try and convince someone else you’re a “good guy” ask yourself why do you have no other qualities to offer? And, if you are SO convinced that the girl you “like” is chasing someone who you think is such a “douche” why do YOU want a girl like that? What does it say about you?

Where has the girl power gone?

I call myself “Eternally Single”. I call myself this because being 30 years old I have spent most of that single. Once I’m in a relationship I am committed but when I’m single, I am single. I have done the casual sex thing and I have learnt both good and bad from that. At this moment I have no interest in that, so I will not participate in it.

However this year I have been shocked by the amount of women in my life who have been in really bad relationships. Not just bad relationships, but they were bad right from the start.  I have been shocked because these are women I admire and completely respect. They are intelligent, smart and motivated women. Who have travelled the world, found jobs they love, (some) have had children. I wont lie when I say that this women have made me feel “dumb” not through any put downs or the like from themselves. I would be struggling (thanks to my dyslexia) and getting an average of a C and they would be getting double A’s.

These women have been shocking me all year…These intelligent, beautiful, loving hearted and strong women are letting themselves be treated horribly…by a guy…and not really extraordinary guys either. Even if they were extraordinary guys it wouldn’t be acceptable.

I have one girlfriend who is actually considering going against everything that she hates and despises just so her boyfriend can sleep around more aka open relationship. Apparently because she’s been cheated on once or twice that should prove she should just be ‘used’ to be cheated on? WTactualF! She’s already said “No” several times, but he wont let it go. Another woman my grandmothers age and I woman I highly admired, sent a group email to upset a male friend of hers, so he would get in contact with her…My Grandmothers age! Then this very close family member of mine has recently told us what happened to her and how badly her now ex-husband treated her…I have no idea how they got married!

I’m sitting here feeling like a failure because I don’t have a man and I’m 30 years old…But I tell you what I’d rather be single than living with this every day of my life! These women I love and admire might as well be single!

Uploaded by PrettyExclusiveTV’s channel on 8 Jul 2012

Here is a clip from their movie “One Hour of Girl Power” where they give their own definition of what Girl Power really means.