Yesterday

Yesterday, I decided to take a break, for whatever I wanted too. Which is why I didn’t make comments yesterday, on here.

I did do things like clothes and dish washing, because, well I had too.

Today though is a public holiday (for I believe) most of Australia, We get a public holiday to “celebrate” the Queens birthday. Happy Birthday your majesty. Apart from drinking tea, I’m not really doing anything “British”, not on purpose. It’s just not happening, lol

I was all yesterday “I’m just gonna chill” and do whatever, I just felt like I needed too. You know what though? It was REALLY hard to do, because there are things that I could do, but I just didn’t want to do.

It was really hard to get rid of the guilt that I felt by not doing things I should have done. Now, these things do not need to be completed for a bit. But still, that guilt.

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Guilt

It’s a very powerful emotion.

At the moment, I have guilt about:

  • Not taking Travie to the vets straight. Not that they could have done anything. Still though, really could they not have?
  • Not writing enough about Black History month or Pride month for the UK, and I think Canada?
  • Not doing enough with my stream.
  • I just want to save the world, it’s not asking too much is it?lol
  • So few things to feel guilty about, but they take up so much!

The Guilt

Don’t you hate it when you know you’ve moved on, or just never cared about someone or something. However you can’t let go of the guilt that you should be more upset? Take my current situation with my ex friends for an example.

I have actually been better and feel better since they’ve been gone. I write what i want to, I do what I want too. Mainly because now I don’t have the pressure of them telling me how boring or how they don’t like what ever it is I’m doing…Which always seemed to be a lot of things!…As if what they do and watch is so spectacular!

Adam Sandler = Craptacular! #notsorryatall

WIMBLEDON IS SO BORING!!! #notsorryatall

I can talk about Lord of the Rings, I can talk about the Hobbit, I can listen to Delta Goodrem. All the meanwhile without them going “Blergh” or “OMG THAT IS SO BORING” Literally every time I said I was watching something they didn’t like…EVERY SINGLE DAMN TIME!!!!

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I have never felt so free in my life before! I swear so much now,lol.

The guilt that I can’t shake though is that I feel like I am supposed to be more sad? I’ve known them pretty much at least longer than half my life. Even though logically and when I’m honest with myself that I am so much better off without them. I have achieved so much without them already in the past 6 months. I can’t shake the guilt that I should have been more upset about it?

The first couple of months I kept waiting and waiting and waiting to fall in a heap and it just never happened.

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This or That #38

this-or-that

This or That #38

This week I want to know…

Do you ever skip pages or read ahead?

Oh no, I am going to have to put my hands up here…I have been guilty of doing this. I’ve done this with stories where I am so confused what’s been going on. I’ve done it with stories where I have liked a particular character and I wanted to make sure what happens to them during the story. Do they survive? Do they end up with the one I want them too? I only seem to do it with stories where I actually really like the characters or the stories…Is that odd?lol … I use to do it with those stories where you could choose the ending, if I didn’t get the ending I wanted to after a couple of go’s…I use to work backwards,lol