Now I am guilty of holding onto things sometimes, but sometimes and as I have gotten older. I have learnt some things are just better to let go of.
I was inspired to write this post after I felt so incredibly sorry for a TERF who admitted that they’ve been waiting over a decade to see the fall of Stonewall. Not that that is going to happen now.
But who holds onto something like that for such a long time? I don’t even know what happened, but it seems a odd organisation to hold onto something for a decade for? Like if a hospital stuffed up your operation, I could understand. Even if a staff member at Stonewall sexually assaulted her, how is that the whole of Stonewall’s fault?
How do people hold onto these grudges for literally years and decades? Don’t they want to be happy and live?
I had an interesting conversation with a friend over the weekend and it made me think how people will view grudges differently, depending on which side you are on That’s not too say that everyone is like this, after all we all experience things in different ways.
Let me explain…
Very recently both my friend and I both had people from our past that sent us friends on request on Facebook. Both people had been very cruel to both of us, for no good reasons. They both sent us a friends request with no message, apology or reasons why they felt like we should be “Facebook friends” and we both said no. One of us then heard about how their ex-friend was telling everybody how my friend was holding onto a grudge, and I was told “it’s in the past, why can’t I just let it go”.
I also have been in a situation where someone who used to bully me in primary school, wrote a message to me on Facebook and apologised. I accepted their friends request and I do not have one single regret.
I am a big believer in letting things go and forgiving people…not for them, but for yourself. Both of us can honestly say that we hold no grudge or even ill-will towards these people. We just don’t think we have to be friends with everybody. Clearly, the fact also that these people can’t even understand and instead of sending us a message to ask us “Why”, they decided to talk about it with everybody else, except for us. Which to both of us, shows us that really nothing has changed.
So, how about yourself, do you hold onto grudges?Are you good at letting things go? Do you believe some people will just never change? Have you ever been in a similar situation and what did you do?