Where has the girl power gone?

I call myself “Eternally Single”. I call myself this because being 30 years old I have spent most of that single. Once I’m in a relationship I am committed but when I’m single, I am single. I have done the casual sex thing and I have learnt both good and bad from that. At this moment I have no interest in that, so I will not participate in it.

However this year I have been shocked by the amount of women in my life who have been in really bad relationships. Not just bad relationships, but they were bad right from the start.  I have been shocked because these are women I admire and completely respect. They are intelligent, smart and motivated women. Who have travelled the world, found jobs they love, (some) have had children. I wont lie when I say that this women have made me feel “dumb” not through any put downs or the like from themselves. I would be struggling (thanks to my dyslexia) and getting an average of a C and they would be getting double A’s.

These women have been shocking me all year…These intelligent, beautiful, loving hearted and strong women are letting themselves be treated horribly…by a guy…and not really extraordinary guys either. Even if they were extraordinary guys it wouldn’t be acceptable.

I have one girlfriend who is actually considering going against everything that she hates and despises just so her boyfriend can sleep around more aka open relationship. Apparently because she’s been cheated on once or twice that should prove she should just be ‘used’ to be cheated on? WTactualF! She’s already said “No” several times, but he wont let it go. Another woman my grandmothers age and I woman I highly admired, sent a group email to upset a male friend of hers, so he would get in contact with her…My Grandmothers age! Then this very close family member of mine has recently told us what happened to her and how badly her now ex-husband treated her…I have no idea how they got married!

I’m sitting here feeling like a failure because I don’t have a man and I’m 30 years old…But I tell you what I’d rather be single than living with this every day of my life! These women I love and admire might as well be single!

Uploaded by PrettyExclusiveTV’s channel on 8 Jul 2012

Here is a clip from their movie “One Hour of Girl Power” where they give their own definition of what Girl Power really means.

The times they are a-changing

Having a conversation with a good girlfriend tonight and we are shocked…repeat SHOCKED…by the amount of guys that are in relationships and/or married that hit on us. Both my girlfriend and I are single and these “respectable taken” men are not helping the cause. There are a few things that make me really mad about it:

  1. How can you call my ex a douche when you’re doing what you’re doing? He didn’t make promises of marriage or anything close to that.
  2. Most…in fact, pretty much all of them…claim to be bi-sexuals…I’m not sure if they think that they gives them a special permission to hit on other people while married or something?
  3. What makes them think I’d ever go for a married man to begin with? I never have and never would…I am not desperate and there are a lot more guys out there that are not someone’s sloppy seconds.
  4. What makes me angriest the most though…My brother is gay, my cousin is gay…Yet these…Wankers…are able to get married and STILL hit on single people, like myself.
  5. I have not seen ONE of them hit on a guy…Just single girls…But this is who Christians really want representing them?…Really? Both my brother and cousins have been in long term committed relationships and neither one has ever been accused of straying. Yet, they can’t marry and these guys can.
  6. You never hear of their partners being bi-sexual…Amazing, isn’t it.

All these guys are doing is harming myself and my girlfriends and relationships in general. We are single for a reason and these guys are a huge part of that. I can think of maybe one or two couples who don’t seem to do this.

We obsess over characters like Thorin and Thor and Mr Darcy because the truth is, to find a decent guy (I still believe that they are out there still) is getting harder and harder to find. These guys damage the rest of you guys and put single girls like me off.

WillSmith

Soul Mates

Soul Mates…Perhaps a bit of a strange title to put into a single themed type blog post, really? It really isn’t though!

I just recently watched the Sex and the City episode “The Agony and the Exactsy” the one where Charlotte says that unforgettable quote…

sex and the city

It got me thinking (as the great sayings always do!) I think it probably the most problematic problem, especially when you start a new relationship. It’s that fine line between trying to include everyone you care about in at the same time, but yet, at the same time, trying to make sure that everyone individually is treated wonderfully well.

 No matter what, your relationships especially with your closest friends are going to be the most important you’ll ever have! Never ever give that up for a romantic relationship!

Best Friends = Best Lovers?!

This has been something I have been thinking about a lot lately. When I look back on all of my lovers (because I’ve had oh so many =P) the ones that I can say were the best lovers I had, were also pretty much my best friends…The ones where it to satisfy an means to an end, I was never satisfied afterwards and those guys always ended up being the ones who caused me the most dramas.

I guess because they didn’t try to get to know me and because I am a girl who can find fun with a guy without  wanting to be in a relationship and they don’t think girls can handle it. I miss my best friends…Why did they have to go and get girlfriends for?lol…That is another thing though, even having  girlfriends, I can still go and talk to them about pretty much everything still. Whereas the other “ones” are being completely passive aggressive and you know that they are writing statuses and liking pictures to have a go at you.

I wish that I still had a special best friend like them in my life. I am so tired of ‘playing’ with these silly boys who think that liking a profile picture/status or tagging you in a picture is some kind of “flirting” Will Shakespeare would be turning in his grave! I miss mucking about with someone and then being able to giggle and cuddle afterwards (and nap) and then have both of us go on with our lives. I sincerely miss you! ❤

I am definitely proof that best friends can make the best lovers!

Best friends-Best lovers

Odd one out…

Last night my best friend came in from Interstate. I have about three female best friends and ironically I could probably pick a “Sex in the City” character for each one of us (I would be the Charlotte in the group…but probably more after being influenced by Samantha). The interesting thing about my little groups of girlfriend is…I am the only single one.

Last night was fun and we talked and giggled a lot, but it was hard to hear about the problems they were having, especially when their guys are completely nuts about them. They are mostly things that they knew could be an issue later. I think that’s the hardest thing about being single, especially when you are the only one, is listening to how bad a friends relationships is, when it really isn’t and that they knew this issue would be coming up later.

I would LOVE a man who was devoted to me, who had my back, who talked to me, who tried to cheer me up when I am down. I have always had the opposite in my life. I have always had the guy who never had my back, including watching me get bullied mentally and physically by his roommate, the one who’d rather play a computer game then take care of me the night my grandfather dies, would rather spend Valentine’s Day with his friends than me.

I don’t get into relationships a lot, in fact, after 30 years I have only been in three relationships. My main problem is once I find that guy, I jump right in, and instead of letting it build up slowly and making sure that I am not falling for a façade. Except if I knew about a major issue, like children, marriage, career plans are likely to become an issue later I would never get into that relationship. I seem to find a lot that I am the only one like that. A lot of girls will get into a relationship to be in a relationship and that’s when the problems start.

True, I have nights where I feel so alone that I hold onto that pillow like I never have before…but I also know that one of the worst feelings in this world is feeling completely alone while you have someone lying right next to you.

Am I the only one who might WANT a relationship, but don’t feel like I NEED one? Am I the only odd one out…I would rather be alone, than feel alone.