Share Your World … Week 43

Share Your World

Share Your World … Week 43

What are you really glad you did yesterday?

Would you prefer a one floor house or multiple levels?

After developing sciatica last year, I’ve found that I now prefer one floor houses,lol. It was literally hell getting up the stairs, there were a few times where I was crawling up the stairs and my Mum kept trying to convince just to sleep on the couch for the night.  Before that though I honestly didn’t mind one way or the other.

Have you done something you truly want to do today?

What plans did you have as a teenager that didn’t happen? Are you happy it didn’t work out that way?

I never really had set plans, I was so angry when I was a teenager, I just wanted someone to care and reach out. I don’t think thinking of future plans was high on my list. My parents separated two days before I started high school and no one ever asked me if I was alright. People were making me take sides. I struggled with dyslexia and didn’t even know it until after I finished high school, when I look back on my assignments and the comments my teachers were leaving, it was so obvious and none of the teachers gave a poop, except for one. Just getting through the day without losing it was pretty much all I was thinking of.

Share Your World … Week 29

Share Your World

Share Your World … Week 29

What is the perfect pizza?

Without a doubt, when I’m in a hungry mood…or have had a few, I love myself a Domino double bacon cheeseburger…It is amazing! However when I want to feel a bit more “healthier”…As healthy as non-vegetarian pizza can be…I will have a Hawaiian type Pizza.

What is your favorite time of day?

Definitely that time of the day, when you’ve finally relaxed and not actually thinking. Just after you’ve made dinner and you’re sitting down to watch your favourite program.

Show us two of your favorites photographs?  The photos can be from anytime in your life span.  Explain why they are your favorite.

Only two?! I especially like the photos from when I was younger, but also all of my fur and feather babies.

Complete this sentence:  I’m looking forward to…. 

Spending any time at all with my partner this weekend. He’s been on holidays for the past two weeks and we’ve spent little time together. Due to other people, which is funny because everyone has a go at as not spending enough time together.

Disturbia

As a few of you know I have this eternal love/hate relationship with Facebook. I love that it has all the people I love from Australia and Overseas on it…I HATE what Facebook can do, the insecurities it can bring, the bad memories that it can bring up.

Well over the weekend I had one of those bad moments and I haven’t been on Facebook since. To explain a little bit, one of my past relationships, my ex was not the person harming me, it was his room mate. However, when I went to him for help, instead of getting the expected response of “It’s alright I’m here” All I got was instead was “You deserve to get hit”…”You have it coming”.

Even after we broke up it never really stopped. Thanks to one group where we both had mutual friends, well people I thought were friends…When I did things they didn’t understand, why I didn’t ‘behave’ the way they thought I should after my breakup, instead of having an adult conversation, they’d publicly ridicule you, quoting you in meme’s you never even said. Needless to say I have been taking myself out, bit by bit, from that group.

I found out over the weekend that this ex was honoured for learning how to do Jiu-Jitsu…The fear, the dread, going back to that place, just instantly flew all over me. My poor now partner, thought that he had done something wrong, because I started to have a panic attack and couldn’t stop crying.

It was a weird feeling, something I couldn’t really explain. It was something from a real life nightmare. Knowing someone who thought I deserved to be hurt, can suddenly hurt me if he wanted to and know how to not leave a mark. The disturbing factor that this group of horrible people (there’s very little good about them) was honouring him for learning how to hurt me. I know it’s irrational, he’s not suddenly going to come after me after all this time. Still…

At the same time though I had, through my moments of blank mindedness, realised how lucky I was to be out of that situation. How taking myself out of that situation resulted in my now happiness.

White Ribbon (Australia)

Uploaded on 13 Dec 2009

Get Rihanna’s eighth studio album ANTI now:
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Music video by Rihanna performing Disturbia. YouTube view counts pre-VEVO: 48,070,735. (C) 2008 The Island Def Jam Music Group

The Leper

One of my ex’s got married over the weekend and on the day in question, everyone treated me like a Leper, afraid I’ll break…I don’t care that my ex got married, this particular partner was the worst person I ever dated, but taught me the most about myself and my limits. What I cared about and got upset about was that, even if I had been broken I didn’t appreciate the fact that no one was talking to me and no one was asking me if I was upset.

“The Leper”

So you got married today, not that I cared, my heart become a ghost town over you for such a long time. You taught me the biggest lessons about myself, I had to everything drop off of me before I could pick it up and reattach myself again.

You were the one that taught me the most about how now to be surprised that people will disappoint you, the ones you think you are closest too, watch them. Don’t trust someone the moment they give you a reason not too. For this I thank you because this has been my hardest lesson to learn.

It’s been a few weird years since we broke up, people I once called family I barely know now, but still continue to talk about me, like they’ve known me at all. When I don’t believe they ever even did. Half the time I wonder what I even doing there to begin with. How did I know this people? They’ve not changed at all and yet I feel like I have changed in every way possible.

I am definitely not the same person I was. I’ve gotten rid of all the boil, the scars, the rotting flesh and I am re-emerging as a new person…Possibly even a Golden Goddess?

Welcome and Wanted

One of the hardest things about being in a relationship (especially a new one) is trying to ‘decipher’ and decode your partners quirks and habits. It’s probably one of the biggest messages that I can say when you are single. You NEED to find out what makes you happy, what behaviour are you willing to put up with and you NEED to stick with it.

One of the hardest lessons that I’ve learnt throughout every single relationship, and in all honesty I mean friendships and family. The hardest thing in any relationship is to feel wanted. I can honestly say that every partner that I’ve had, they never wanted to be around me. They always seemed to prefer the company of their friends, even if they were bad-mouthing those friends (which should also be a clue). Even with my “friends” I have had friends who have dumped me for other people…Hence why “friends” are in quotation marks. I no longer consider them friends.

When you are single, you think there’s this whole world that you are missing out on. I was always good at being single personally. You have to figure you out, I cannot stress this one enough. My current relationship is tough for me because I have so many insecurities, I’ve had to deal with a lot on my own in the past. I am not used for asking for help, I am more used to being upset and crying it out on my own.

Before you get into a relationship do things on your own. Reconnect with yourself. The major reason I am doing alright now is because I know that I’m fine, my current partner is not my other ex-partners, he is a whole other human being and has never given me a reason to doubt him.

That greener grass

I’ve had a few interesting times over this last year, just personally I’ve felt like I’ve changed a lot and have become a lot more sure of who I am.

As a general rule when someone goes through something like a lot of things, for example your friendships. Also though women I used to really admire, use to really look up too, I have down a full 180 on them. They’re all smart, successful in their careers, stunningly beautiful, they take really good care of their health. Even though they are some of my best friends

However there is one thing that I’ve never really realised before, they can’t be alone. They are always with someone. These smart, successful, beautiful women NEED to have a men in their life to make their life “credible”.

There’s this one girl who is actually one of my ex’s, ex’s before me. She cheated on my ex with his best friend and they eventually got married. Ever since I’ve known her though, my ex was planning on asking her to marry him, had the ring, everything, but she turned him down because she was in love with his best friend. I’ve noticed though, she seems to get remarried every couple of years. Recently I noticed that she was already dating someone (via taking a picture of herself in her underwear) and her last post with her husband has only been two weeks beforehand on Facebook. Yet, no one else seems to have noticed? It’s like she’s going through so many guys no one even cares any-more.

Then there’s one of my best friends, obsessed is an understatement with her finding a guy. It’s pretty much all our conversations have been over the last two years…I am not even kidding. She’s been hypnotherapy, all sorts of things…None of it seems to work. Then she’ll meet some guy and for the next month she’ll be in total love and then he turns out to be a jerk or just doesn’t like her as much as she likes him and it’s all over again.

One of the things that fascinates me though the most is that neither of these girls wants to have children. So what’s with the desperation? You can get married at any age.

That’s beside the point though, it’s just fascinating that these two women who I used to really admire and wish that I had their life, I’m glad that I don’t have their life.

Positive Thinking!

So no more talking about ex’s…Except in terms of my “Single in a small city” page, even though, it will be at a minimum and only when it’s NEEDED!

I think the best piece of advice that I could give anyone is to believe in yourself the most. Everyone is going to give you those cliché type pieces of posts, but only you know what you truly need. I can’t tell you how many people would tell me that I was moving far to slowly with my new partner. I didn’t just break up with my ex, but I also was in a new job at a high pressure time. So I didn’t always want to go out.

Uploaded by: DeltaGoodremVEVO

Published on 8 Apr 2012

Delta Goodrem’s official music video for ‘Sitting On Top Of The World’. Click to listen to Delta Goodrem on Spotify:http://smarturl.it/DeltaGSpotify?IQid…

 

 

 

A year ago today…

I am not sure how many of my readers have a Facebook, but on Facebook ever so randomly they have this “app” called “TimeHop” and what it does is it allows brings up a post from say a year ago from today or 5 years ago and you can post it onto your Facebook. I don’t actually have this app on my Facebook, but it still randomly shares posts and today it decided to share a post today. Reminding me that a year ago I broke up with my ex.

One of my roughest break ups ever for myself personally. My ex had been chasing me for months and then when I finally decided to break down and say “Yes” it moved very quickly and then it was over a month later. It wasn’t just over but my ex treated me very cruelly afterwards as well and honestly I still believe, till this day that he never cared. I hated the song by “A Great Big World, feat Christina Aguilera” … “Say Something” because that’s pretty much what happened. He wanted to break up and then refused to talk to me and decided, of all the friends he had, to go and tell the first person we had broken up, the person who hated me the most? The guy was horrible to me….Obviously. Made no sense.

A year ago

I never thought that I could trust someone, let alone love someone ever again.

Yet, here I am a year later and I am in love with someone who is like the most incredible person I have ever met and takes such good care of me. I can’t even explain how happy he makes me. He’s honestly also the first boyfriend I’ve had that actually makes me feel he really wants me around. That is SUCH  an unusual feeling for me and sometimes it still makes me a little sad that it’s taken me this long to find someone who treats me like that =/

It amazes me where my life has taken me since this day. I never thought that a year later I would be here. Stronger, happier, feeling more fulfilled. When I think about how I felt and how long it took for me to trust my current partner, it still astounds me that I am here.

A different share your World

Since I couldn’t find the Share Your World link this week, I have decided to do my own type of “Share Your World” Blog challenge. So it’s just a simple challenge really, just some simple facts about myself so you, my readers, know a little bit more about me. Please feel free to copy the questions as well.

7 Facts about Yourself

1. My second favourite Disney princess is Aurora aka Sleeping Princess, mainly because I love my sleep.

2. I am currently writing about 3 different novels/books, but they will probably never be finished or published.

3. I don’t sing in the shower, but I do dance and lip sync.

4. Sometimes I honestly think that only my Dog loves me.

5. I actually really like where I work and I adore my co-workers, but it’s not my dream job.

6. I love to bake, I just don’t like to cook.

7.  I am one of those weird people that actually likes my fruit and vegetables and I’m confounded by the whole “sugar is bad for you” like it’s some new breakthrough? I’ve always known that, still gonna eat it though!

 

6 People Who Inspire You

1. My Great-Grand father

2. My Gran

3. Animals…I don’t care that it says “People”hehe

4. The characters from Lord of the Ring and the Hobbit.

5. Anyone who plays Celtic music

6. The Guides from Safari Live!

5 Favourite Girls Names 

1. Lilly

2. Belle

3. Arwen

4. Jasmine

5. Eve

4 Favourite Boys Names

1. Joseph

2. Antony

3.  David

4. There pretty much it really.

3 Things You Like About Yourself

1. It feels good to be able to say and slightly humbling too. At work today I was told that my co-workers love how, no matter what, my laugh makes them laugh and it helps them to keep them sane.

2. My behind has been complimented by men and women alike! It’s a good butt!hehe

3. Personally for me, I like it when I can take care and stand up for those I care about. Especially when I can help solve the problem.

2 Things You’re Looking Forward To

1. Going back to Melbourne!

2. Getting a paying job in a Library!

1 Quote You Live By 

1. “To Thine Own Self Be True” William Shakespeare…Polonius “Hamlet”