This is going to get weird

I am just letting you know that I am writing about toilet habits in this post. If you are eating, or don’t like to think about pooping, stop read now…

I mean it…

Don’t blame meeeeeeee….

I think it goes without saying that we have probably all seen the hashtag AmberTurd (something like that) in relation to possibly Amber Heard pooping on the bed of Depp. One thing, it has since been revealed, that Depp was away at the time of alleged incident.

This is what I want to write about today…Pooping…

I will admit that I don’t know that much about that incident, mainly, I don’t wanna know. That’s kind of my point though.

We all poop, it’s a natural bodily function. It is one of the grossest natural bodily function. It’s gross, makes you wanna throw up and is pretty unhygienic. But it’s all natural still. Even the Queen poops. I am sorry, but she does.

Hears my counter point to that, pooping is natural (aren’t you glad that you kept reading) But is it natural to say to a friend that you want to have sex with a rotting corpse? That is also gross, makes me wanna throw up and is pretty unhygienic.

And it’s about to get weirder.

I also have been “caught out” with the pooping. Yes, I admit to it. I know others who have too. Let’s be brave, shall we, lol. I had a stomach ache, I took a Panadol (general pain medication) Within an hour of taking that Panadol, I had alcohol. Probably the dumbest thing I have ever done. If you’ve done it, you probably understand what’s coming next.

I managed to get to a toilet before I left the party, that was not at my house. However, I didn’t make it all the way back home. It was dark, and I made it to a park, but not to the park’s toilets. It happened, I was an idiot, I didn’t actually know that could happen.

That poor tree…

Too this day I hope no one came across it.

I know of others who also got “caught out”. Shit LITERALLY happens folks!

Retail Therapy

The last couple of months I have hit the retail therapy HARD CORE! I mean generally there is always some kind of retail therapy for me after a breakup, but I have been getting rid of so many old clothes and getting new gorgeous ones. It is a necessary function that needs to be performed after every single break up…No matter how nice or nasty!

It is interesting though what people decide to buy after a break up. When I was younger I used to buy plush toys and I still actually have them all and I have no bad feelings towards any of them. As I’ve gotten older though I buy clothes more now and I buy things that I’ve been wanting for a while but never got around too.

What do you buy after a breakup? What makes you feel better? Is it buying bad food (sometimes I do that…Nice juicy bad burger~.^) is it watching “bad” movies? Is it just being around family and friends?.

retail therapy