What a weekend!

I promised more posts on the weekend and what a weekend it is turning out to be!…and it’s only Saturday morning…well…as I write this it is =P You will all be getting this in the evening, just because SO much has been happening!

First can I say to anyone who read this and is a Texas reader, though I am sure there are far more important things to worry about than my little blog…I hope you are all safe and that the damage is not too great! I will say that I’m praying for you, because I feel…apart from good hope…it’s all I can do.

Second, it is International Appreciation Dog...My little bundle of fluff, actually had to go to the Vets yesterday and get a few teeth out. She was very sleepy, but she’s doing great. She hasn’t had to go under at the Vets, very often…So there are a lot of nerves whenever she does. Although my little bundle of love isn’t an “official” therapy dog, she has probably been the most helpful when it comes to my anxiety…and she will never even know!

I refuse to talk about what’s happening in the WH house though. Though a lot is going on. Where does one even begin with that?

The other bad bad news, I have to work tomorrow after only getting one day off and then working for another 5 days…So far looks like I’ll be getting two days off next weekend though =D I need a holiday!

Advertisement

Just walk away

I have usually gotten along better with guys than I do with girls. I don’t know if it’s less drama or they are appear more laid-back, but I had always gotten along better with guys…Until the last few years, where mainly the word S…E…X has gotten in the way, mainly theirs, lol…

I don’t know how, but I’ve been in the situation twice now, where I come along in a new group and think that I have made some new friends and they seem like a lot of fun. Then over the next couple of years, someone else has come along…You know more “exciting” than me, younger than me…I mean I think I look pretty good for 33. However, that’s when things change. I’m suddenly sitting at my birthday all alone, that was pretty horrible…Of course the girls don’t like me, one I have never met, the other I’ve never really hang out with. So over time you just lose “friends” and you don’t even know why…Other than they’re all a bunch of idiots.

The first girl I fought back against, because she was attacking me for no reason. Everything I said, everything I did was “wrong” and a reason to send me 4 page emails about how wrong I was. I’d wake up the next day and another “friend” would be gone. It was probably the most emotionally and mentally draining thing that has ever happened too me.

So, when it started happening again, I didn’t fight, I just walked away and it was probably the best thing that I have ever done for myself. No months of drama or how wrong I was, and I still lost friends and people still walked away.

It has been different this time…

People came back and I got unfriended by people who honestly, I don’t actually like that much too be honest. I stopped getting invited to their parties, but I had better ones to go to and had even better people to spend time with. I had more time to explore and discover where I live instead of going to the same parties, with the same people and the same dramas.

Do I wish that either party would apologise? Of course…The best advice I can give though, if you are in this situation, or something similar…Walk Away…

This applies to every single relationship in your life. Any relationship or any type of relationship, just walk away. There is a reason that this saying is a cliche…

If You Love Someone, Set Them Free. If They Come Back They’re Yours

It’s a true cliche, set them free, if they come back, they were always meant to be apart of your life. If they don’t, they just were not. It really is true and sometimes it can hurt and it can be frustrating because you can’t understand why. I’ve been there so many times “Why, what’s wrong with me?”. There is nothing wrong with you, as my Gran likes to say “They are just not part of your tribe”. It’s true…Most of the people I’ve lost during these situations, there are soooooooo boring, or annoying and they do the same dramas all the time. They just did not “interest” me, I guess you could say. I have never actually lost a really good friend.

Some of these people have come back into my life and they have seriously honestly missed me. The cliche is a cliche for a reason, even though it takes time. It might even take years. They do, the ones who matter, always do.

Walk Away

Have Faith 

Be Happy

And just keep being you

A Friend Pt 2

Well I am actually writing this in a word document today, because for some odd reason the letter “R” will not work on my WordPress…Odd, huh?! It’s just randomly working on and off…Just the letter R.

So this post today is supposed to be about another friend who I am grateful for. However, since I made the first post about being grateful for a friend, you’ve probably noticed that I’ve had some serious issues with my friends over the last couple of years. When I wrote Part 1 I talked about people who you wouldn’t necessarily call friends in the traditional sense, but more about people who support me and I them. The live feed that I watch called “Safari Live” I talk to them more than I talk to my friends that I can see any time and the talk is always cheery. Even when the death of a popular animal has occurred, we all understand and how devastating it is too lose one of the animals we watch pretty much daily. There is very few people in my “real life” that could even come close to understanding that.

I’ve also talked previously about how I don’t even think I actually have a “best friend” anymore. So it’s hard to talk about being grateful for a friend, when I’m struggling so much with those particular relationships.

I am really struggling to write anything to be grateful for…Oh this is terrible.

I still can’t think of anything to write,lol

Be your own best friend

These last couple of years have been pretty rough on me, friendship wise. I’ve lost a lot of friends, friendships have changed and I’m came to the conclusion this weekend, that I don’t really have a “best friend”. I thought I did…But I really don’t think I do. I have good friends and close friends and fun friends. I don’t think that I’ve ever really had a “best friend” though.  A couple of years ago the best friends I thought I had completely changed (you can read the start of my changes here from a year ago).

Too break it down, one of my best friends got into an abusive relationship and it was on and off and I got sick of it. I stood up and instead of telling, well if they love each other they should work it out, I told to her to leave. I got hated on for it and that’s when it began. One of my “best friends” started to “accidentally” leave me out of ‘best friend and sister’ posts on Facebook, and then got all upset with me when I told her off. Then the actual girl told me we had grown apart because I was single, she didn’t want to tell me all the good stuff in case I got jealous. When she’s single, she gets jealous of happy couples. Except I have never been like that, shouldn’t my “best friend” of half my life know that? What kind of friend does she think I am anyways, that I’d rather hear about her getting abused, then happy things? Then every time she’s come out here, she seems to see only one of our best friends, out of our “best friend” group. In fact, she has seen one of our best friends partners one on one, more than me.

I think the thing that worries me most, is that I’m not even sad about it. It’s just feels like one less responsibility and less person you owe something too, or in this case three people. Have I become so cynical and heartless? As I have been slowly taking myself out. It’s been kind of nice too to take myself out of these groups, nice and slowly. As every time something happens and I am hanging out with them, all I can think “Why does nothing change” and also “How stupid are these people?”.

Not being ‘stuck’ in a group has also meant I have had more time to get out there and discover things I am interested in and meet new people. These included having more time to write a Blog, or the stories I am currently working on. I also go for longer walks with my dog. I can go off and explore things around the neighbourhood when I want, I have more time for crafting stuff. I don’t know if it is also because I have a good boyfriend who I can muck about it and he has been a better friend than they have. Maybe that’s also why it’s been so easy?

I feel like I get do things that I want to do, I can go to places I want too, eat at places I want to, shop where I want too and not feel like I’m being dragged along, or dragging someone else along too.

Sorry, I think that this post is a bit all over the place.

Are any of you in the same situation though? Do you feel like without those people in your life, you are actually alright as well? Do you feel like you should be missing them, but you are hey okay without them?

Birthday Woes

Not so much woes…Just annoyances really. Not even really annoyance, just life happening.

My birthday is just in under a month away and it’s actually on a Saturday, so its not a “important birthday”, but because it’s on a Saturday, so I’d like to do something cool. I was thinking of having a games night…

None of that is the actual problem though…

The actual problem is at least half the group…have all broken up with each other, and I would consider myself a good friend to both parties. The other issue is none of them are getting back together, because within about two weeks to a month of the different breakups, one side was already in a new relationship. One can’t stop talking about her new partner, none of us have met him and she has no pictures of him on her Facebook, and they are already engaged. The other broke and the guys best-friend and his ex were dating within a month and they JUST had to make it “official” on Facebook straight away…Why…You’d have to ask them.

So I’m in a tad of a dilemma … Do I just invite them all and let them work it out, or another idea I had was to have a girls night and then a separate birthday party?

Number 7

Number 7. A Friend Part…1

Uhh…So this is an interesting one for me because when I first saw the grateful challenge, I actually took a bit of a stumble. At first no one specific popped into my mind. Which clearly sounds terrible because it sounds like I have no friends, which isn’t even true at all. I have a lot, however, the last couple of years my friendships have taken some up’s and downs. Even though they may not realise what they’ve done, or what how much they made an impact. Too me, I’ve felt a little friendless lately. I don’t really trust a lot of my friends anymore. Some I’ve accepted that they will probably never been someone I can trust with my deepest darkest secrets with, but I can still have fun with them.

 For the most part I enjoy being friends with my friends.

When I started to think about it though there is one group in particular that I actually really enjoy chatting with, I look forward to sitting down and chatting with. I just wish that we could actually all meet up! Not have everyone so far away. I would definitely call my Safari Live friends…Well…Friends…We talk pretty much every single day and we are all friends one each other Facebooks and Twitter accounts, as well as having our own little Facebook group. When I think about it, they are one of the main reasons I keep coming back to Facebook. Just so I can see their screen shots of the days safari and chat about it.

So, rather than one friends…I decided to pick a whole group of people and just writing about them, makes me so happy.

It came as a surprised to me too…

A special New Years message

I have made this entirely different New Years Blog just to express my thanks and gratitude for an entirely different group of people. We’ve gone through a lot together, from difficult technical issues to illnesses, to the death of beloved and favourite animals.

Most of us have never even actually met before, yet we feel loss without one another when one of us hasn’t been around for a while. I would definitely consider all of you to be my friend and good friends at that. Some of you are better friends to me than my friends that I see.

You have all brought so much happiness to my life and gotten me through some really rough days. I don’t know what I would have done with the awesomeness that you have brought to my life.

I raise my glass to you! I’m not sure you know what you’ve done for me, the happy you’ve brought into my life ❤

It’s time to say Goodbye

I had a very Oprah, light-bulb, ah -uh moment over the weekend when I was trying to explain to someone about a past relationship, where it was the room mate who was abusive and bully to me, rather than my partner. However, my partner looked me dead in the face when I finally asked for help after having a shoe flown at my head “Please do something” I kid you not my then partner looked me in the face and said

“You deserve it and you have it coming”

As much as I hate it, and even though I left straight away after that comment, and it’s been years. That comment still stays with me. However, that’s for another post.

I met my “that partner” through mutual friends who were still my friends every after we broke up, but we are pretty much no longer friends. After thinking about it for a while I’ve come to realise that the reason my partners comments have shocked me less and less over the years is because of this group of “friends” It has recently occurred to me why my partner felt that was the best thing he could do. My ex-partner is such a chicken, like he’s definitely a weakling.For him, instead of doing anything, because he “had to live” with this guy, it was just easier to blame me. It’s occurred to me recently the entire group is like that.

I have un-followed all of them on my Facebook and have for nearly the whole year now. I am starting to think of unfriending them in the new year. I have been publicly humiliated because I didn’t want to date someone, I have been told that headbands look stupid on me. Someone told me something disrespectful about their sister and best friend, and yet I wasn’t invited to the party.

I have had my phone yanked out of my hand, checking up on a girlfriend, because that’s being rude and unsociable. Yet, the girl right next to them, was playing on her phone because she’s “bored”, the whole time I was being berated and being put down, she was there, playing on her phone, which is why I initially thought it’d be okay to check up on my girlfriend. That whole situation is an exact representation of my “friendship” with these people. They’ll treat what they think you’re worth. How is that not a form of emotional bullying, borderline psychological abuse?

With it coming up to New Years Eve and with people thinking about who they want to bring in the new year in, who they want to start off the year. Please, REALLY think about it. Think about being your own best friend. Please think about who you really truly believe in your gut who deserves to be with you on a brand new journey.

Share Your World … Week 49

Share Your World … Week 49

What do you value most in a friendship?

Oh wow! This is an interesting one for me because I really don’t trust a lot of my friends at the moment. It’s gotten to the point with me it’s becoming more of a regular thing to be let down and realise how little some of my closest friends even know me. How disappointing it is that they can just leave me behind. It’s become such a “norm” for me that it doesn’t even bother me anymore.

So I guess what I value is just someone who wants to even get to know me. You don’t have to agree on everything, but just someone who actually wants to even know me? Does that make any sense at all?

Do you prefer eating the frosting of the cake or the cupcake first?  Do you prefer a specific flavor?

My mum is well known for her cups and cupcakes and I love to try and eat both at the same time, but if it’s not possible, I tend to eat the icing first. You have to try Bubblegum flavour, it is amazing!

Have you ever been in a submarine?  If you haven’t, would you want to?

No and No…I tend to get claustrophobic and even the thought of being on one freaks me a lot. One of the scariest episodes for me on Doctor Who are all the episodes that are underwater. There was one were they were stuck in a submarine and I can’t watch it.

If 100 people your age were chosen at random, how many do you think you’d find leading a more satisfying life than yours?

I think maybe about 25%. People my age have a tendency to want everything now and yet a lot tend to not want to really work for it. I mean this in different aspects of life, not just employment. The problem with them wanting it all, but not really willingly to look at what may be causing the problems tends to cause a lot of unsatisfied people.  Take one of my best friends for example, she is pretty much, well, desperate to get married (not have kids) but just get married. She is so smart and successful in every other part of her life, but it’s not enough for her. She has dated some seriously terrible people. The last guy she date was an abusive ego-centric ass and the ONLY reason she left him for good, was he didn’t want to get married. He wanted to live with her, he was making plans for them to move in together for the rest of their lives, but didn’t want the piece of paper.