Can ex’s be friends?

Simple Answer…Yes

Clearly each situation is different. Myself, personally, I am friends and on good terms with at least 80% of mine. One I just can’t see myself ever being friends with for a variety of reasons and the other one…I just don’t trust him…at all. I don’t think anyone should and you should never have anyone in your life if you don’t trust them, that’s not just for ex’s.

I think it always takes time, for every single one of my ex’s that I haven’t or have ended up being friends with, it took time. That’s one of the things about living in a small city, you tend to bump into people a lot…Or at least you know people who know that person.

What brought this topic you may ask? I was recently on Instagram (I’m mainly on there as a lot of the guides from #safarilive post a lot of pictures on there). There was a picture of a guy who had broken up with his girlfriend (ex) and he wrote a respectful tweet about how they had broken but they still respected each other. And the comments were all about how pathetic they are. It was kind of like they’d prefer him to completely trash her instead? What is actually wrong with people?

Personally I would have loved it if any of my ex’s had spoken about me in a respectful way, instead of stabbing me in the back…Repeatedly.

What about you readers, do you think it’s possible to be friends with an ex?

Share Your World … Week 12

Share Your World

Share Your World – 2016 Week 12

Wanting something to quench your thirst, what would you drink?

If I need to quench a thirst the first drink that I will always go to is Water. I get really worried about dehydrating a lot. I’ve really started to see how beneficial drinking water can be over this past year.

What made you feel good this past week?

It’s actually been a pretty rotten couple of weeks to be honest, mainly because I’ve had no work shifts for two weeks now and it’s kind of depressing me. However, I have been doing little things here and there to make myself feel better. The main thing that made me feel better was renewing a lot of things, things I’ve been procrastinating.

When you’re alone at home, do you wear shoes, socks, slippers, or go barefoot?

This one depends on the weather. For example, during Summer I walk around barefoot, but during Winter I have been well-known to wear at least two pairs of socks. My feet can get really cold!

Would you rather live where it is always hot or always cold?

Always hot! I’ve just never gotten along with the cold. I get the whole icky sweaty thing, but the cold just seems to hurt my bones almost. Plus I find that most people want to actually do things when the weather is warmer. Since my birthday happens during colder temperature people bail on my birthday all the time. Last year I asked repeatedly if people were actually interested in coming and they all said yes, so I hired the huge pool room for 30 people and only 12 showed up -.- I had a good night, but I was so annoyed! I had to pay money to hire this room, it was so embarrassing!

Surviving the “Run-In”

Before you go out this weekend read these articles! So you’ve just broken up with someone and if you are like me and the area that you live in is the same as mine. There is a a really good chance that you WILL run into your ex at some point.

The first thing is…DON’T PANIC! It’s a lot like little creepy crawlies, they are more scared of you, than you are of them!

This first article, I agreed with everything! The only one I would say is to take some thought first for Number 3 “Consider scheduling a meeting” (meeting with your ex first to discuss how you will handle what to do with mutual friends). Now the reason I disagree with this one is because:

a) You always should act with respect with your friends any way.
b) If your friends do take sides, they weren’t really your friend.

9 Things To Do If You Run Into An Ex, Because Hiding Is Rarely The Best Option

This second article might be written for the holiday period BUT I think it is still extremely written specifically for every day situations as well.

8 Ways to Survive The Dreaded Holiday Run-In With Your Ex

One of those “days”

So having one of those “days” got into a fight with a ‘best friend’ of mine…I should be reminded that if someone doesn’t want to leave a relationship that is more than unhealthy for me you either a)say nothing or b)accept that you’re going to be blasted for wanting to be protective. Guess which one happened to me! (In case you can’t guess, it was option B,lol).

The weird thing that I’ve been perfectly fine, even though I’ve been called “fake”, passively aggressively though. I’m not even sure why that is, these are my BEST friends. There’s one or two who aren’t necessarily taking sides but they’re just letting me know they don’t think the same way the others are. I can take comfort in the fact that I feel strong too, I wont even let my best friends talk shit about me.

I guess when you speak the truth and you are coming from a genuinely honest concerned place, I guess that makes all the difference.

 

 

Role Reversal?

Here I am again, feeling frustrated because no matter how many times I have rejected a guy. Apparently it is MY responsibility to make them feel better again and for months to listen to how much they like me and how strong they’re feelings are for me. Even though I have made it clear that 1) I am NOT interested and 2) I have met someone.

If I did this, I would be call ‘crazy’, ‘pathetic’ and ‘stalkerish’. Yet, if I call them that and I don’t just sit there, take it and listen to something that I think is actually unhealthy and not helpful at all, I’m a bitch. Why? Why do we just have to put up with these guys harassing us? The emotional blackmail as well! I got so fed up with one guy today I literally broke and started to lose it. When I told this guy I was refusing to talk about any-more his feelings for me (I said no to him mid-December and he knows I’m dating someone else) because it was clearly not healthy and it was clearly not helpful for him. He tried to turn it back on me “Oh, I was just asking how you were doing”. I LOST it! I have not lost it like that in a really long time.

I literally FEAR rejecting guys now, I really do fear it. I have been humiliated on Facebook because of rejecting someone, which honestly made me even MORE glad that I chose to say no to that guy. Why anyone of them (a group of people decided to tag me in a picture that basically called me a “bitch” and posted it on their Facebook, they wouldn’t have dared to post it on my own wall) would think that that would make me want to date him more is beyond me. I have had guys go off on me while in their cars, that is scary as!

Guy listen to me…Man up! Not one single girl I know finds it sexy to constantly harass us after we have rejected you, in fact, it makes us want to stay away from you even more you and humiliating us does NOT work for us! Not one single girl I know has changed her mind after you posted on her wall any type of “friendzone” meme. It makes us even more glad that we don’t choose you, except we can’t say that because we’ll be called a bitch and then have our name dragged through the mud.

Crafternoon!

I cannot believe that I have not written about this before! About once a month myself and a group of girls (although guys are very welcomed to join us as well) and we do crafts! This can be anything from sewing, making little clay-type characters, colouring in (for those who have come with a hangover)…Anything!

The reason for my post today is that I am looking for ideas for my current project. I recently bought a unique figurine for a beautiful little dragon, it’s no bigger than average size of a women’s hand. I have decided to make a little nest for it, in my room…YAY to inner child! I’ve got the basket I want for it and I am going to be making it a little more nesty….BUT…I have no idea what I should put in there as well?

Any ideas?

30 Days of Gratitude: Days 22 – 28

Day 22 – Conventions: Today started off with me feeling pretty down about a lot a of things. So going to the Supanova convention was exactly what I needed, but I was also grateful that I was able to attend this convention with good friends. What I didn’t expect was to feel as free as I did. Surrounded by people in a fun environment where I felt safe to be me, I felt free from the dramas of other people treating me like a second rate friend. If I had gone out drinking, or just clubbing I would have just gotten drunk.

Day 23 – Health – So last night I pretty much spent half the night throwing up due to some food poisoning and found that more than half the people I went out with had gotten it too. So I wasn’t feeling particularly grateful. Luckily though I realised if I was on the streets or in a third world country, what I went through last night, there was a serious chance that I could have died in the streets. As terrible as my stomach felt, it could have ended up a lot worse for me in a different situation.

Day 24 – Job Club – One of the requirements of not having a job in Australia is attending “Job Club” every week. Sometimes it can feel like such a chore, but I have a new case worker now and feel like he might be actually able to help me. I also got a call today from a potential employer, letting me know that the police check I sent (I sent in for a casual pool months ago) is now invalid and before they can even consider giving me employment I need a new police check…Feeling a little more positive today.

Day 25 – Ferguson: Well this has definitely been the hot topic on a global scale today and I don’t even live in America! As much as I am feeling like I want to stay indoors and be a hermit right now, I am feeling very grateful to be an Australian right now Apart from Abbott trying to ruin everything…We are pretty lucky… Let’s kick Abbotts butt! I can’t stand that guy,lol.

Peaceful Protest Ferguson!

Day 26 – Breakthrough: Last night I had such a breakdown and it was not a good one, I haven’t had one like that in a really long time. For 30 years I have realised how badly I’ve been treated by my ex’s and the damage that is pretty permanent now. It has made me though realise I need to seriously change a LOT in my life. I also need to stop dating Gamers…They are a lot of talk, but not so much about the ‘walk’,lol.

Day 27 – “The Fight”: I have been a bit down since I had to really say goodbye to my ex and let him know that I just do not trust him and after 30 yrs. I am honestly having a hard time trying to find something to be grateful for, other than realising how strong my heart is and how loyal it is to myself instead of ignoring what I need to do.

Day 28 – Thanksgiving: How ironic that 30 days of gratitude happens to fall on Thanksgiving. There is so much that I am grateful for although I am going through a bit of a bad patch right now. But I also know because of all that I am grateful for, I will make it through this too.

The times they are a-changing

Having a conversation with a good girlfriend tonight and we are shocked…repeat SHOCKED…by the amount of guys that are in relationships and/or married that hit on us. Both my girlfriend and I are single and these “respectable taken” men are not helping the cause. There are a few things that make me really mad about it:

  1. How can you call my ex a douche when you’re doing what you’re doing? He didn’t make promises of marriage or anything close to that.
  2. Most…in fact, pretty much all of them…claim to be bi-sexuals…I’m not sure if they think that they gives them a special permission to hit on other people while married or something?
  3. What makes them think I’d ever go for a married man to begin with? I never have and never would…I am not desperate and there are a lot more guys out there that are not someone’s sloppy seconds.
  4. What makes me angriest the most though…My brother is gay, my cousin is gay…Yet these…Wankers…are able to get married and STILL hit on single people, like myself.
  5. I have not seen ONE of them hit on a guy…Just single girls…But this is who Christians really want representing them?…Really? Both my brother and cousins have been in long term committed relationships and neither one has ever been accused of straying. Yet, they can’t marry and these guys can.
  6. You never hear of their partners being bi-sexual…Amazing, isn’t it.

All these guys are doing is harming myself and my girlfriends and relationships in general. We are single for a reason and these guys are a huge part of that. I can think of maybe one or two couples who don’t seem to do this.

We obsess over characters like Thorin and Thor and Mr Darcy because the truth is, to find a decent guy (I still believe that they are out there still) is getting harder and harder to find. These guys damage the rest of you guys and put single girls like me off.

WillSmith

Getting ready…

Take a deep breathe,
Look at the phone,
Nope…No change,
Look in the mirror and roll my eyes at myself…(why would he call)

Tried to take the shower,
But the hot water hasn’t scaled the pain buried deep inside away,
Look at myself in the mirror again,
A million thoughts of how this night will probably turn out.

Look at the phone,
Nope…No change,
Step by step I put the shell on, already to defend myself,
The shell that the rest of the world will call a dress and make-up.

Check my phone again..Nope, no change,
I guess it’s time to accept that I have to go out,
Take that first step out into the horde,
The horde that is single life.

 

newgirls

 

Soul Mates

Soul Mates…Perhaps a bit of a strange title to put into a single themed type blog post, really? It really isn’t though!

I just recently watched the Sex and the City episode “The Agony and the Exactsy” the one where Charlotte says that unforgettable quote…

sex and the city

It got me thinking (as the great sayings always do!) I think it probably the most problematic problem, especially when you start a new relationship. It’s that fine line between trying to include everyone you care about in at the same time, but yet, at the same time, trying to make sure that everyone individually is treated wonderfully well.

 No matter what, your relationships especially with your closest friends are going to be the most important you’ll ever have! Never ever give that up for a romantic relationship!