Realise!

Have you ever realised, in one single moment, what bad friends you have had in your life?lol…I was actually writing a comment on another fellow Bloggers post and was talking about the bad friends I’ve had in my life, and I realised that DAMN. I’ve had a lot of bad friends in my life!lol

When I started to think about it even more, there’s probably about 5-6 people who I would even consider a friend (other than family). Considering I’ve got over 300 “friends” on Facebook. That’s a very small percentage of people I actually consider to be a friend.

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Now there’s people I don’t necessarily dislike, but apart from a like here and there, are they really my friend? I’m old enough to know better, that a Facebook “friend” isn’t necessarily a friend. But it was just that moment where I realised, I have had some REALLY bad “friends” in my life. People I actually considered to be a friend, were not a friend at all! The people that I like their stuff here and there, have treated me better than actual friends.

Through various different situations and different friendship type groups, I have pretty much been treated pretty badly for a very long time by “friends”.

Whether it’s not letting me heal properly by sending me long emails telling me I’m wrong. Too suddenly getting dump because a group of guys can only handle being friends with one girl at a time. Too the entire situation with my ex best friends.

Why!?…How does this happen?

International Day of Friendship

Friendship Day is a day in mostly Latin American and Asian countries for celebrating friendship. It was first proposed in 1958 in Paraguay as the ‘International Friendship Day’. Amercia did actually start one in the 30’s on August the 2nd by Hallmark. However, it was seen by many to be tacky and just a money making type event, so it faded out. In 2011, it was declared an International Day by the United Nations.

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So, what even is friendship?

I guess it depends what friendship means to you. Too some friendship is someone who you meet regularly. Too some friendship may be the family you choose. Too some friends are people who you just do not need, but rather it’s a privilege to be your friend.

Some of us love our friends, some of us have been burnt by our friends. Some of us were burnt and now we’ve recovered and are much better off now. Some of us are making new friends as we speak. Some of us are starting to end friendships as we speak.

What does friendship mean to me?

I honestly don’t even know how to answer my own question. Since being burnt a couple of years ago, I’ve learnt that I only need and want friends in my life, who are actually “friends” to not only myself, but others. It’s one big lesson I learnt, if they’re being nasty and mean about other people being their backs, whats to say they’re not doing it too you? I mean these girls would gossip about each other, how they didn’t agree with something one of the others did. I am pretty sure no one likes one girl, but no one says anything to her about her behavior. So the “circle of hell” continues,lol.

If you are friends to your friends behind their backs, as well as their faces. You are the type of friend I want.

 

Wanna be my friend?

I get asked a lot would I be friends with my ex friends if they came and apologised too me. My answer is always going to be a “Oh Hell No”.

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It’s not that I haven’t forgiven them, I have. It’s not only because I don’t think they ever would anyways. It’s more that when I think about it. I’ve come to realise that they were never my friends to begin with. That is sad to a girl, who even when I was little. At Christmas time I would make sure that all the decorations (that weren’t baubles) had to have someone else because “Everyone needs a friend” and the sad conclusion that I came too where I realised I’ve never actually had a best friend.

As sad as that it is and too much like a Robin Williams quote. It’s true and I’m fine with that. I just don’t want people in my life, who make me realise that ever again in my life.

I deserve better than that.

I do miss having a best friend, in the “traditional sense”. When my partner saw that I had written that I didn’t have a best friend, he got really upset with me. I think it actually hurt him. I think he knows now what I meant…I hope so! But I think you know what I mean? I can hardly talk to him about any of my dream weddings plans!lol

Let’s be Friends <3

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Today is International Friends Day…

From a young age, I always believed that everybody needed a friend. Even the most horrible of us. A real friend wont let you be a horrible person. So yes, everybody needs a friend. When you have good friends, you have everything!

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Even though I don’t feel like I have a best friend anymore (other than the obvious) I feel like I have the best friends ever! We all are going through very similar things and I feel like I have become more of myself this year, than any other. I feel more brave and I feel like I’m doing more and this has been a good year for myself. Which is kind of funny considering what happened at the beginning of this year. I feel like my friends are more honest, more real and without a doubt in my mind more kind! I have loved hanging out with you all.

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I don’t think you even realise how weird it is for me to say that I enjoy something without a whole barrage of “OMG LAUREN…THAT IS SO BORING AND IT SUCKS!”. It’s just nice…Like SO nice…Even if you don’t agree or like what I do, you don’t tell me how something that is apart of who I am, is boring and stupid…While saying how dare people saying they’re weird for liking Michael Jackson, like completely utterly in love with the guy…It is SO refreshing and so kind! We all like the music and the things we watch, because they are apart of who we are.

Too myself, being a good friend is not necessarily always “being” there for someone else. It’s about being real and honest, when no other person will. It’s not about trying to be the “best” friend…It’s about the best friend possible. It’s got nothing to do with telling someone what they want to hear, it’s about being able to tell them they NEED to hear. Especially if that means you might actually lose them as a friend.

Which is why I consider a lot of people on here, on WordPress, Safari Live and Twitch. a friend. We are so real with each other. We ask each other the tough questions, we ask to question ourselves and see something important from a different point of view. Being friends with someone doesn’t mean being in their pockets 24/7, it means being there when it matters. Not just when it matters for you.

Understanding that sometimes people just can’t be there for you at the moment in time. How they make you feel when they can’t be there for you. This is SO important as a friend. It’s basically impossible for someone to be there 24/7 for others ALL the time. I can’t think of a single person that I have in my life, right now, who makes me feel worse when they can’t be there. THAT’S what friendship is too me. Knowing that if they can’t be there, they don’t make you feel worse.

Share Your World, June, Week 2 2018

Share Your World

Share Your World – June 11, 2018

If you could choose any person from history to be your imaginary friend, who would it be and why?

Oh gosh, a quicker question would be who wouldn’t I want it too be! lol…I’ve really had to think about this one…I’ve managed to narrow it down though between three people. One would be the artist, Monet, the other Audrey Hepburn and the last would be Cleopatra or Nefertiti. I did think Einstein too, but I think he’d be way too smart for me!lol
I’m going with Audrey Hepburn though. I feel like she did so much with her life. She was intelligent, she was kind, she was real go-getter. She did so much for other people. Although I am completely fascinated by Cleopatra, she killed a lot to get where she was. I don’t really know that much about Nefertit and I mainly love Monet for his art, but also because he reminds me of my Great-Grand Father, but he’s not.

60s, 70s, 80s, 90s: Which decade do you love the most and why?

I love the age of the 90’s. I kind of love the 60’s too though. SO much happened in both these eras. I love the fashions of the 60’s, but I also love the progressiveness of the 60’s and the 90’s. In both America and Australia (though I was not born yet and too young to be a Glimmer in my father’s eye). You had the Civil Rights Act and the Australian Indigenous people got the right to vote. Those these are probably not much now, but they were HUGE steps forward for the time. It didn’t solve all the problems, but it was s start! The beginning is a very good place to start.

When you die, what do you want to be remembered for?

Just someone who wanted everyone to be happy. Someone who wanted peace both worldwide and for everyone inner’s self.

What did you appreciate or what made you smile this past week?  Feel free to use a quote, a photo, a story, or even a combination. 

Sometimes you do just take the little things that have made you happy and focus solely on them. Anxiety wise, I’ve been a rough week and it’s been making so tired, but it’s been really lovely getting into bed with my partner. Now we haven’t been able to do the hanky panky (I’m not able to this week and my partner hurt his ankle and is in a boot) but we’ve been cuddling and mucking about. It’s been really nice and makes me forget about my troubles.

Friendship…Just a perfect friendship?

This was something that I wanted to post forever ago, in the previous year to be exact…But I thought reflecting on my friendships would be better to start off in the New Year.

For me personally, a lot of my friendships have change. Even though I’m 33 now, I finally got to watch my 30th party a couple of weeks ago and it made me realise how much has changed for me friendship wise…How differently I feel from that couple of years ago.

I was thinking and talking about marriage the other day myself and too me bridesmaids are the ones who are supposed to have your back, that’s why they stand behind the Bride. How many friends do you have in your life you can honestly say that you feel you can say this confidently?

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I would love to naively say that I would love to have a girlfriend group like Sex and the City. Even though I know it’s a tv show…It seems my little group is nowhere near this. One girl has just basically dumped us for an entirely different group for the last two years. The only time we see her now is when one of the other girls visits us from Interstate. That’s It. This girl that visits us from interstate, a couple of years ago she said that we were growing apart because for some reason she’s the only person I know that’s under the impression that when I’m single I’d rather hear my friends are being abused, then happy. You know what she’s done since then? Nothing. She hasn’t said let’s hang out and chat. She has hang out with our friends partners, more than me. Not only that when we were going through the rough patch, there was another one of our “friends” who started to attack me and all that was said “That’s who she is”…I didn’t feel better.

Now they’re all upset with me because I didn’t tell them I was in the hospital for a night. Well except the one that keeps attacking me of course,lol….And these are supposedly my oldest friends!lol

I want the Romy to my Michele (I am so Michele,lol)

The Fox to my Hound

The Carrie to my Charlotte (I will always be Charlotte too)

The Rose to my Blanche

The Jack to my Karen

The Chandler to my Joey.

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A Friend Pt 2

Well I am actually writing this in a word document today, because for some odd reason the letter “R” will not work on my WordPress…Odd, huh?! It’s just randomly working on and off…Just the letter R.

So this post today is supposed to be about another friend who I am grateful for. However, since I made the first post about being grateful for a friend, you’ve probably noticed that I’ve had some serious issues with my friends over the last couple of years. When I wrote Part 1 I talked about people who you wouldn’t necessarily call friends in the traditional sense, but more about people who support me and I them. The live feed that I watch called “Safari Live” I talk to them more than I talk to my friends that I can see any time and the talk is always cheery. Even when the death of a popular animal has occurred, we all understand and how devastating it is too lose one of the animals we watch pretty much daily. There is very few people in my “real life” that could even come close to understanding that.

I’ve also talked previously about how I don’t even think I actually have a “best friend” anymore. So it’s hard to talk about being grateful for a friend, when I’m struggling so much with those particular relationships.

I am really struggling to write anything to be grateful for…Oh this is terrible.

I still can’t think of anything to write,lol

Number 7

Number 7. A Friend Part…1

Uhh…So this is an interesting one for me because when I first saw the grateful challenge, I actually took a bit of a stumble. At first no one specific popped into my mind. Which clearly sounds terrible because it sounds like I have no friends, which isn’t even true at all. I have a lot, however, the last couple of years my friendships have taken some up’s and downs. Even though they may not realise what they’ve done, or what how much they made an impact. Too me, I’ve felt a little friendless lately. I don’t really trust a lot of my friends anymore. Some I’ve accepted that they will probably never been someone I can trust with my deepest darkest secrets with, but I can still have fun with them.

 For the most part I enjoy being friends with my friends.

When I started to think about it though there is one group in particular that I actually really enjoy chatting with, I look forward to sitting down and chatting with. I just wish that we could actually all meet up! Not have everyone so far away. I would definitely call my Safari Live friends…Well…Friends…We talk pretty much every single day and we are all friends one each other Facebooks and Twitter accounts, as well as having our own little Facebook group. When I think about it, they are one of the main reasons I keep coming back to Facebook. Just so I can see their screen shots of the days safari and chat about it.

So, rather than one friends…I decided to pick a whole group of people and just writing about them, makes me so happy.

Disney Magic

So I found this series of pictures/memes on Facebook’s page Disney Memes (there’s a couple of these pages). Beauty and the Beast is probably my favourite Disney movie, but Lion King is a very close second. When I first watched the movie I was not aware of the whole history behind it, other than I got what it felt like not to fit in, like Belle. I recently wrote a post about how two people can the exact same thing and yet get treated completely differently (Find it here: Peas in a Pod)

These pictures are definitely an extension of that. Just recently for example, I had my 30th a couple of years ago and lot of people didn’t show up…Their reason? “We don’t dress up” Yet, just a couple of weeks this other person threw a costume party and ALL the people that used the excuse to me they weren’t coming to mine, went to this one AND dressed up. Still to my face are calling me a “friend”.

This group was probably the main reason I wanted to give up, not necessarily kill myself or anything, but becoming a Hermit was definitely a reality for me. I definitely like a monster and true friend would never make you feel like that. Belle has always been my favourite Disney princess because I can totally relate to her reality. I get called beautiful a lot and yet, have never fit in.