The one thing I can’t let go of…

Do we all have that one thing we cant let go of? We may have forgive, we may have forgotten what they did too us, but you never forget that one feeling they made you feel, when you think about it?

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I forgive pretty easily, but I take a long time to forget and if it comes up, I tend to remember how I felt and then I’m either angry, upset or happy for the rest of the day.

I apologise for this short post, it’s has been SO warm here and I am just feel like I am slowly melting…Or really fast,lol

Wanna be my friend?

I get asked a lot would I be friends with my ex friends if they came and apologised too me. My answer is always going to be a “Oh Hell No”.

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It’s not that I haven’t forgiven them, I have. It’s not only because I don’t think they ever would anyways. It’s more that when I think about it. I’ve come to realise that they were never my friends to begin with. That is sad to a girl, who even when I was little. At Christmas time I would make sure that all the decorations (that weren’t baubles) had to have someone else because “Everyone needs a friend” and the sad conclusion that I came too where I realised I’ve never actually had a best friend.

As sad as that it is and too much like a Robin Williams quote. It’s true and I’m fine with that. I just don’t want people in my life, who make me realise that ever again in my life.

I deserve better than that.

I do miss having a best friend, in the “traditional sense”. When my partner saw that I had written that I didn’t have a best friend, he got really upset with me. I think it actually hurt him. I think he knows now what I meant…I hope so! But I think you know what I mean? I can hardly talk to him about any of my dream weddings plans!lol

Forgive…Or just don’t care?

That is the question…

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I was just randomly thinking about this…and my current situation with some people.

My Mum has always said that the opposite to love is not hate, it’s indifference..and I agree with her.

I was talking about my situation with a few people and they said “I’ll bet it takes you a while to forgive them” and the thing is…I already had…the next day….I thought to myself I think a lot of it had to do with simple the fact, I just had stop caring.

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I was more shocked that not one of them mentioned that I had ended up in hospital and not a single one of them mentioned that they were glad to hear that I was alright.

However, that was just even more proof too me…It was always about them…Hindsight and all that…I have been more upset about losing jerks of ex’s.

But had I forgiven them so quickly, because I just did not care anymore?

So if you just don’t plain care anymore, is that the same as forgiveness? Or is it just easier to forgive because you don’t care either way.

The Grudge

I had an interesting conversation with a friend over the weekend and it made me think how people will view grudges differently, depending on which side you are on That’s not too say that everyone is like this, after all we all experience things in different ways.

Let me explain…

Very recently both my friend and I both had people from our past that sent us friends on request on Facebook. Both people had been very cruel to both of us, for no good reasons. They both sent us a friends request with no message, apology or reasons why they felt like we should be “Facebook friends” and we both said no. One of us then heard about how their ex-friend was telling everybody how my friend was holding onto a grudge, and I was told “it’s in the past, why can’t I just let it go”.

I also have been in a situation where someone who used to bully me in primary school, wrote a message to me on Facebook and apologised. I accepted their friends request and I do not have one single regret.

I am a big believer in letting things go and forgiving people…not for them, but for yourself. Both of us can honestly say that we hold no grudge or even ill-will towards these people. We just don’t think we have to be friends with everybody. Clearly, the fact also that these people can’t even understand and instead of sending us a message to ask us “Why”, they decided to talk about it with everybody else, except for us. Which to both of us, shows us that really nothing has changed.

So, how about yourself, do you hold onto grudges?Are you good at letting things go? Do you believe some people will just never change? Have you ever been in a similar situation and what did you do?

And that’s the end of that chapter (Credit: Homer Simpson)

It’s time to say goodbye,
It’s time to turn the page over and start anew.

It’s time to forget and move on,
It’s time to make you a fictional nightmare that will never happen again.

“I want to forgive you and I want to forget you”.

…And I will…You treated me like my life didn’t matter, I think it’s fair I treat like you never existed.

You were the worst mistake I have ever made and will never make again,
You taught me so much that was wrong.

Why…WHY can’t I just have one knight in shining armor, it is all that I have ever wanted,
Why do I keep the douche-bags wrapped up in aluminium instead?
Why is it only me they ever treat like the dirt beneath their feet.

I am tired of you making me feel like there is something wrong with me,
When it’s YOU who should be feeling like this, not me.

I will not allow you or any other “man” make me feel like this again,
I want to shine in the sun, where I belong.

“To live would be an awfully big adventure”

Published on 16 Jul 2012

S10E13