Bye Bye Haters!…

I really feel like this year has become the year where I stopped giving a …

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I would like to just say that I love these little Beetles, they are so determined with something so gross,lol

I feel like this has been the first year where I really stopped caring so much. Every now and then I’ll have to take time off of social media, because my anxiety plays up. But I feel like I actually have spent a year truly respecting myself. Sometimes respecting yourself does mean to take time to yourself.

It’s interesting because it was thanks to my three ex “best friends” and what happened at the beginning of the year. I was in shock for a while, maybe a week and then after that I just got annoyed and I’ve been annoyed for a while now, but I still didn’t miss them. I don’t even think for an hour. Too myself, if I can let go of them, and be alright…Because it was right…Then I can do it with anyone! Especially if it’s right and that’s when everything go easier for me.

That is something I want to focus on more next year. Walking away instead of hanging around and hanging on for sentimental reasons. If it’s not right, then it’s not right.

Sometimes I get angry

One of the comments that I get asked is “Do I get angry”

Yes, yes I do…I am human after all.

  • If I see an animal being abused, I get angry
  • If I see someone get bullied,I get angry
  • Do not bully children. I do not care how much of a “punk” you think they are. I’m looking at all those “adults” who bullied the Parkland students.
  • I don’t get so much “angry” with Trump supporters now…I just feel sorry for them. How dumb are they?!

Sometimes it does surprise me this question because hasn’t everybody at some point been angry about something? When I thought about it a little bit more though I started to realise that nearly everybody is angry about everything these days. Some of the guys I’ve known in my life have had terrible, just terrible ex girlfriends. You know the type, they had a bad night, so everyone else had better watch out. I’ve just never been like that.

As I suspect a lot of my readers are this way too.

I just don’t understand that way at all. I have always felt life is hard enough, why make it unnecessarily harder for other people?

TGIF

What a horrible week!

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Apart from a lovely a visit from my baby brother, everything else has gone horribly wrong!

I do have to say that I have been loving the responses to my Liebsters Award post and how its not just myself that has some good plush love happening! In a totally G rated capacity…(that could have been weird!lol)

Below is a picture of myself and my latest purchase…Her name is Savannah and she is a “Charlie Bear“, but I had to go on ebay to find her. They’ve all discontinued her year. I bought her because she looked just the right size for some cuddling and I also bought her in memory and in honour of all the little lion cubs that I’ve seen and we’ve lost on safarilive

Lions have always been my favourite and top 5 favourite animals of all time!

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Everything happens

I actually had this thought on the Monday, but out of respect for the most recent mass shootings…I decided to change the day.

Lately, for myself, everything has been happening at the exact right time…So I’m going to start going with this. The first thing that happened was my bag zipper. It’d been working on and off and since it’s been getting closer to Winter, I need my bag to zip close. I asked my Mum for a specific bag for my birthday. No joke, the day before my birthday the zip just stopped working altogether.

Now my phone has been not working either. It just randomly wont turn on and I usually have to put it back on the charger, and then it turns back on. Today (well the Monday) I get a text from my Mum that morning, saying that we had received my new phone…My old phone stopped working and I had to leave it on the charger. It took a while for it too turn back on. I thought for sure that the phone was not going to turn back on.

Then I decided I was going to “chicken out” aka I psyched myself out of catching a bus in the morning to work rather than a taxi. There was really no excuse. My main anxiety has been with travelling, so getting back on buses has been a challenge. I came up with every single excuse under the sun on a perfectly good day to do it. (I do catch it in the afternoon/evening). The taxi ended up being really late, and then every major road we came too, people sped up to overtake us, and the just plain stopped when they went to merge! Three times, three different people, on three major corners…Three times!

Even my post from Self was posted on the Monday after I went to a Body, Mind and Physic fair where I felt completely re-centered, but I had scheduled it days before I even went or remember I was supposed to be going to the Fair.

So I’ve decided to keep going with this feeling: I AM looking into a free website, candle AND label making things. I’m doing it, I AM looking into it.

It feels like it’s coming together.

 

Build a Bridge

If you are one of those “adults” you get mad at the students who have just survived a mass shooting…because they say how adults have failed…

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They’re right!

The school mass shootings should have stopped at the very first one! Not forgotten about! These are children who are trying to protect themselves, it’s not their jobs to do that! We, as the adults, are supposed to protect them. These should have stopped YEARS ago! If these kids hadn’t of stepped up, it would have just been pushed to the side again…!

I have actually been in arguments with “adults” who pretty much threaten these children with taking away their support for them, because the kids have said how they are having to clean up the adults mess…THEY ARE RIGHT! I’ve also been accused of not taking the cause seriously because I stood up and said that these kids are right. When I got VERY angry and told them I’m not the one taking away my support, that would be them…I got blocked!lol

These children have had their lives threatened, had targets put on their, they have been called all sorts of names because the adults “don’t agree” with the students…Yet, how dare the children say the adults failed them…The bastards!

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Even as a non-American adult in another country. I feel like I’ve failed them as well because as someone who lives in a country with good gun control. I feel like I could get more word out there as how good gun control is.

As adults we HAVE to get over own feelings. Our own guilt and DO SOMETHING NOW! The children are dying!

These are my confessions

I’m not sure if I’ve actually written about this before…but if I have I apologise if you feel like you are just rereading something.

(I actually thought about this while I was “in the bathroom”)

I love my partner, I love him SO much…I don’t even think about not being with him.  I know he gets frustrated sometime because he’s not a very expressive person and isn’t great with his word…But his actions…I LOVE his actions! He is definitely an action man. Considering my other ex’s were definitely all talk, no action…I freaking love it!lol..I just want to cuddle him all the time!

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Here is my confession though…

My last ex has totally ruined me.

My last “relationship” was really weird! My last ex chased me for months and I kept saying no. There was a huge age gap…I was 29 going on 30 and he 19 going 20. After 7-7 months after spending a night together, just talking…I finally said Yes…A month later he ghosted me.

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For those who don’t know what “Ghosting” is. It is pretty much anyone you’re dating/seeing…and they just literally stop all contact with you. After chasing you for months and months. They wont return calls, emails, they wont meet up with you anymore. No reason, they just disappear. My ex stopped talking to me and went to a party and did not invite me. I had to send a text saying “I guess you’re trying to tell me you want to break up with me?”.

It has completely ruined my ability to trust and open quickly anymore. The thing that upset me most was when I finally said yes and let my guard down, I fell pretty hard, pretty quickly. Within that one month I was so happy, I allowed myself to look at “wedding” things, because it just felt so right. Usually it takes me forever to get to that point…The guy made me feel like a silly old fool.

The only reason I am starting to look at wedding things now is because my partner and I have been through so much together already. It makes me love him more and more each time.

This isn’t at all too say that I am expecting an proposal anytime soon…It’s more when I start looking at those sorts of things, for me, it means I’m at a certain stage, myself, personally.

 

 

 

 

Goodbye too you…

I realised the other day you can’t miss someone if they never brought anything to your life. I keep waiting for the moment where I feel sad and cry but it doesn’t seem to be happening…That’s fine.

It’s alright…It really is…

When you realise someone never really brought anything to your life, it’s then that you start to let them go.

It’s okay not to be sad, it’s okay to realise someone you cared about was not a very nice person. It’s alright to not miss them at all. It doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you, it doesn’t mean you are emotionless or heartless. They were just, as my Gran would say, “not part of your tribe”.

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I’m just going to add another link here, that is not in the video below:

Anxiety Disorders: National Portal of India

This will also be the last time I mention my ex-friends. I think I’ve been in shock. I will let you know as well, this Vlog goes on for a while. Be Prepared!

 

First Week in 2018

Officially it is exactly one week since 2018 has started in Australia for me….What a week it has been! I’ve been:

  • Shocked
  • Let Down
  • Lifted up by literally everyone else in my life, including my job placement person.
  • Guilty Happy (Meaning I feel like I should be more sad, but I’m not,lol)
  • Happy
  • Oh…And happy!

Did I mention?

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I’m serious! I can’t get over how productive and happy I have been this week. I have been going out every single day. Too the point that I am exhausted and haven’t had any trouble sleeping at all this week. I think if it hadn’t have been for literally every other single person in my life reacting to my note that way I had hoped, it’d be very different! It also proved a LOT of things for me.