Dear Me,

(So I wrote this is when I had an overwhelming feeling of anger towards my ex and I was never going to share it, but I think that a lot of people would understand where I am coming from and I had this thought that when I do meet the ‘right one’ for me. All this anger that I feel I am going to feel so ashamed of because I let some…idiot…nearly ruin any chance I have of falling in love again).

Dear You,

It’s okay to feel angry, it is truly alright. Just make sure that you learn and you try understand that not everyone you meet, a much as it seems to suck, will be around in your life forever. Some of them do not realise the potential that is there, and that is okay too. They need to learn to make their own mistakes and one day they will understand what they have done and what you had. This doesn’t mean you need or should feel like you want them back in your life, as long as they learn and never do this to anyone else ever again.

Just please promise me this, do not let this break you, do not let this make you hard and bitter. There are so many out there that look too you to make this day a little more magical, a much more fun place to be in. Yes, he is a moron who just easily threw away an amazingly rare thing. This does not mean that finding that amazingly rare thing will not happen for you again. Believe it, you know it will exist again, I know that you feel it here in the deepest depths of me, I know you feel, don’t ever lose that.

Someone like you was never ever meant to end up alone. There is nothing wrong, even in this day and age, to want the one who has your back, the one who will still love you even in the darkest places of your heart, there is nothing wrong with wanting the one who makes your heart smile, the one that even during Winter, will keep you warm and safe, even when they can’t be there, the one who will warm our soul. Most importantly, there is nothing wrong with being single while you find this one, you do not have to date anybody you don’t want too (though we both know it’d much easier that way).

Take these moments day-by-day, hour-by-hour, if you have too. I know it hurts so much right now and you fought so hard just to have it all disappear like it was worth not a thing. I know that you are wishing with all of your heart he had left you alone earlier, or that you had just never met him at all. I know that he has torn, clawed and scratched at every single dream, word and feeling that ever happened.

You will get through this. You will meet someone who will just make your heart dance and your mind sing. All of this will be yours, I promise you. You just cannot let this make you bitter. Your heart is so full of life and love and it is just waiting to burst open with everything that you have to give. Please, do not let this make you bitter and make your heart turn into a well of cement.

Love Always,

Your Heart

Uploaded on 27 Jun 2011

Seldomly the right thing…

The quote for this week isn’t actually from a well known author or a well known character…This is a quote that I thought of a couple of days ago while I was volunteering and it just resonated with my situation this week =)

“Very seldom does the right thing to do, feel like the right thing to do, and is usually the very last thing that you want to do”

Author – Lolsys Library 2014

Day 14 – 21 Single Womans Blogging Challenge!

So here is my third instalment of my Blogging Challenge…I can’t believe that I am already up to the third week! January is nearly already gone…Damn!

15)   Narrate a conversation between you and someone in your life who you never had closure with (a friend, an ex, a family member, etc.) What would you say? What would they say? What outcome would you hope for?

Well there are so many people that I wish that I could do this with question! Especially since this is the year that I’m trying to get the toxic people out of my life. The thing is I don’t want to take them out, I never ever do. I have a Disney type view on the world in these matters. As I say though I am the most idealist realist you’ll ever met. I am always willingly to forgive and have people back in my life, as long as I believe that they are genuine in their apologises. I may need time, but I always want people back in my life…I’ll always make room again. You can forgive some, but you do not need them back in your life.

I wish all the time that I could have my Great Grand-Father back, and there are so many conversations with him I wish that I could have that I wouldn’t know what to start!  About me, friendships, my life, career…He was an extremely inspirational person in my life.

16)   If you planted a time capsule right now of your life to be opened in 20 years, what would be in it?

  • Doctor Who memorabilia and most likely with my fan letter to Matt Smith.
  • Lord of the Rings and the Hobbit memorabilia
  • The group photo of when my family went on our family vacation
  • A picture of my doggies
  • A copy of my Library Studies certificate
  • Probably one of my rockabilly dresses
  • One of my favourite candles
  • A recipe of Lasagne

17)   What are your spiritual beliefs and how do they impact your relationships/relationship status?

I am what is better known as an “Agonistic”. Meaning I don’t necessarily believe in a God, but I believe in other spiritual worlds. I do believe in Guardian spirits/angels, psychics etc. I do however love what the Dali Lama and what the Buddhist stands for. I also do Reiki.

So far with the Reiki/Tarot part of my life, my ex’s haven’t been judgmental of my life. It’s something that I do not force down their throats and so far they have been extremely open minded to it and one of them even asked me to do Reiki on him a few times. So when I am looking for a partner, they don’t have to believe in it themselves, they do have to be respectful that I do it and will continue to do so.

18)   If you could have a conversation with yourself in high school, what would you say? 

To believe more in myself! Take the trip to America it will change your life. Start studying Library Studies and not to wait till later! The right man is going to come along, so don’t worry about it even if it take years and too always remember that family is here for you no matter what.

19)   What is something about you that people would be surprised to learn?

I think a lot of people are deceived by my sunny like nature. I’ve always been of the thought that if you haven’t done anything wrong to me. Why do I think I have the right to be nasty and bitchy just because I woke up like that? I know a LOT of girls who will literally say “I woke up in a bad mood, so I am going to be a bitch all day today”. So a lot of people think I am pretty much a walk over, which is completely not the case at all! I can easily kick people’s butts! Then they’re shocked I can stand up for myself.

20)   Describe your most difficult breakup and what you learned from it

Well in case most people haven’t heard, it was definitely my last break up. Ironically it was the shortest relationship I’ve ever had too because I knew something was off, couldn’t figure out what it was until we broke up,lol.

However, I can say that I have learnt the most from it. No more toxic people, I can’t just put up with stuff anymore. I have been doing a lot more things that I was previously afraid to and I do things because I want too and not give a stuff what others thinks. It has been amazing! I’ve been having a lot more fun than any other time in my life and I am doing things that are proving to be extremely positive!

21)   How would you pitch a reality show about yourself? To what network?

Ahhh…Well I have never done anything like that before. I guess the best kind of show I could pitch si a lady coming towards the end of her 20’s. No kids, no marriage and he quest as she enters her thirties looking for personal fulfilment. How is it to be a single women in her 30’s in this day and age?

No idea about the network, maybe the Lifestyle channel? No idea,lol

Once again if you want to learn more please check out: http://thesinglewoman.net/2013/10/04/the-single-womans-30-day-blogging-challenge/