Dementia/Alzheimer and the Carers

I don’t know if I’ve mentioned this before. My Gran has recently, well nearish the beginning of last year developed dementia … or Alzheimer … Seriously, I can never remember (and it’s okay to laugh at that). Either way she’s got one of them. So it’s been a little … well more than a year since she diagnosed. She was diagnosed just before COVID really hit.

If you managed to read about my “long” weekend yesterday, than first of all … thank you ❤ I don’t think I even realised if I was making sense or not.

What I would like to write about today, is how, if you ever find yourself taking care of someone with dementia or Alzheimer’s. That it’s important to remember to take care of yourself too. Too remember yourself that it is hard for the person with the problem. However, you need to remember to take care of your life problems too.

Life always has this annoying thing, that it goes on and things crop up. Life doesn’t stop because someone we care about gets a horrible disease.

Now, in the case of dementia and Alzheimer’s, from what I can see from my mum and Aunt, is the guilt. The guilt of doing the wrong things.

I’m going to post a podcast episode about this very thing. My mum was telling me about, and I listened to it. I’ll break down a couple of things, and then post the podcast link.

What really made me sit up and listen is when she started to talk about and to remember (as a carer), in that moment that the “patients” feelings and emotions are just as valid, in that moment, as they would be to anyone else. So, if say, in five minutes, they’re happy and fine, then they are happy and fine. As carers, they tend to focus on the bad moments, and worry themselves with guilt about how they might have done something better, differently etc.

The thing is you can’t worry. It’s a natural human thing to worry and worry a lot, when you really love someone and they’re in pain (even for a moment) and you don’t know what to do.